[Victoria_20]

what happens when the pro's and con's don't outweigh eachother?
yesterday my bf called me a **** and told me i should just leave, which he quickly followed up with "i'm sorry" and "i didn't man any of it"
i have another place to go, and stay with friends. i probably could get a better job out there too, and no fighting.
i'm seriously sick of all the fighting and bickering and snaping and arguing... it's driving me nuts.
i made a por's and con's list, but for every pro i had a con and vise-versa.
idk what i should do, i realy love him, but i can't stand living with him any more. it's been just over a year since we started dating, but only six and a half months since we moved in together. not to menssion that we spend every secind together since we work in the same place as well.

[mark25624]

He either has picked up what his parents have said, did.
Men can be impressionable.

Or his friends are telling him that if he does this to you.
You will do what he says.
Just to keep peace in the family.

Men want to be in control of anyone/everyone!
Ask him to find a doctor mainly a mental health professional.

If he goes on/off!!!
Then ask/tell him to find one if he wants to keep this relationship alive and well!!

[Another Link]

Hmm.... tough. Have you considered falling out of love with him?

[Victoria_20]

Originally Posted by Another Link

Hmm.... tough. Have you considered falling out of love with him?

haha, easyer than it sounds, i wish i could... im trying

[Karlam1991]

Originally Posted by Victoria_20

what happens when the pro's and con's don't outweigh eachother?
yesterday my bf called me a **** and told me i should just leave, which he quickly followed up with "i'm sorry" and "i didn't man any of it"
i have another place to go, and stay with friends. i probably could get a better job out there too, and no fighting.
i'm seriously sick of all the fighting and bickering and snaping and arguing... it's driving me nuts.
i made a por's and con's list, but for every pro i had a con and vise-versa.
idk what i should do, i realy love him, but i can't stand living with him any more. it's been just over a year since we started dating, but only six and a half months since we moved in together. not to menssion that we spend every secind together since we work in the same place as well.

Wow that's got to be tough. Maybe working together isn't such a great idea.
Everyone needs a break sometime.
My boyfriend and I been together for a year also it's always hard because you're still getting to know each other. You know so little of the opposite and that brings disagreements/arguing etc.
Take a break after work get away from him take a walk relax.
Tell him to go somewhere as well go watch a movie to his friends
house.
Also it's never good to call bad names, later on it may lead to a habit which will make u both upset. It's very disrespectful

[Confusedinomicon]

I think your problem is you spend every second with him.

I know that I would kill my SO if he and I worked in the same place/had the same friends/lived together.

[Victoria_20]

so, it's only getting worse, he told me how stupid i am and told me he wanted me out byt the end of the month... same story he apoligised and said he didnt mean it

wtf

[Karlam1991]

That's too much, maybe it is best if you leave him.

Originally Posted by mark25624

Men want to be in control of anyone/everyone!

I will get to the OP's post but had to say something here.

That's a very strong stereotype you have there. Sounds like you think men in general want to do that and do you really believe that? I don't know about the other men around here but I find that a little off putting. You can't very well say based on my gender that I want to be in control of everything or everyone! There are plenty of controlling people out there, on both sides of the gender wall. I personally was the submissive/controlled one in my last relationship and my wife happened to be the one in control so... hmmm

Originally Posted by Victoria_20

what happens when the pro's and con's don't outweigh eachother?
yesterday my bf called me a **** and told me i should just leave, which he quickly followed up with "i'm sorry" and "i didn't man any of it"

From what you've said, I wonder, is this a pattern of behavior for him when you fight and argue? If it were an isolated event I would let it go but somehow I don't think it is.

Regardless of the reasons for your bickering and fighting, at the very least, my thought is that you do go to your friends if it's feasible, even if only to get some space and time to think. Perhaps work on these things together while you're apart and assess whether you want to get back together after this?

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

From what you've said, I wonder, is this a pattern of behavior for him when you fight and argue? If it were an isolated event I would let it go but somehow I don't think it is.

I agree - there is a pattern. And since there is a pattern, it will not get better. And therefore, you should leave ASAP. After you leave, you will take care of falling out of love, without rushing yourself.

There is no point in continuing when the future is so bleak.

So I do not know why your pros and cons cancel each other out - it seems a rather simple situation.

[Victoria_20]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

From what you've said, I wonder, is this a pattern of behavior for him when you fight and argue? If it were an isolated event I would let it go but somehow I don't think it is.

Regardless of the reasons for your bickering and fighting, at the very least, my thought is that you do go to your friends if it's feasible, even if only to get some space and time to think. Perhaps work on these things together while you're apart and assess whether you want to get back together after this?

pattern? well the fighst always start as something really small or stupid, like we misunderstood what the other was saying

and we decided to try and make things work, if it's not better by spring, then we will go from there. i love him too much to just let go