Shot down again

Since I moved from San Diego to the East Coast (New York for the past two years) I have been so, so hopelessly single. I try so hard.. I get shot down every single time. I lost count of the guys that have rejected me.

My last relationship, which lasted only three months, ended back in early 2009.

I'm afraid with more time that passes my "market value" goes down. I'm going to be 33 in a week.. I just got shot down yet again by another guy who I thought I had great chemistry with. That'll make number four or five this year alone. What the hell.

Guys just don't seem to view me as a girlfriend type, ever. I've even asked my guy friends.. they are stumped. I'm very attractive and educated. I make people laugh. My friends love me, my parents love me.. and that's it. No one can figure it out.

I just don't get it. Did I sleep through the class where they teach you how this stuff works? Was everyone born with a manual except for me?

Everywhere I go everyone is coupled up. Going to the grocery store is an effin' nightmare - all I see is couples and women with baby carriages. I could swear I'm the last single person in this city. Like I'm that loser that gets picked last for the team.

I don't know how much more of this sh** I can take.

Maybe I really am ugly and boring.

Clearly, I'm throwing a pity party and you're all invited.

Hey, hugs to you. It's tough out there.

Have you ever asked any of the fella's to tell you why they've called it off? Or, being honest with yourself, are you dating a certain type of man, ie a player or something? Sometimes we can unconsciously date the wrong type of man over and over again. I wonder if you may try someone that you'd not normally go for if you have a type. Anyway, just mulling over some thoughts, am sorry if none of this is any help.

Hah.. "calling it off" would be an overstatement. It doesn't even get that far most of the time. It usually goes something like this: I meet a guy, he asks me to hang out a few times, we do the usual song and dance if you know what I mean, then he pulls away and becomes a casual friend. The closest I've come to a steady dating situation was last year when I hung out with this one guy on a regular basis who liked me just enough to keep doing so but not enough to actually be my boyfriend, as he so stated. Of course, shortly after he met someone he actually liked and whom he is now dating. I never asked him why he didn't like me, I just accepted that for whatever reason I don't do it for him. Whatever. *shrug*

Oh and sorry, to answer your question.. there's no consistent type. The only common denominator is that they're usually younger than myself (I don't see the problem here because many people younger than myself are in relationships or married) and that they live in New York. Hah. Maybe it's a New York thing, although I've had this "issue" my entire life... always seemingly hitting a brick wall.

I don't think I understand this. Does it mean you were friends with benefits? Or just a friend? If he said he wasn't your boyfriend, why did you stick around? Do you not think you are worth more?

I am sure NY, like a lot of busy cities does make things harder in some ways. Where do you meet the folk you date? Have you tried a dating agency or something like singles nights? At least you'd met some men there who are ready to look for a partner. And I agree, nothing wrong with younger, but it depends on how much. Perhaps that's the one thing you could try to do something differently, try someone older. So many times I hear my friends who become keen on someone say something along the lines of 'he's not my normal type, but..' and they're happy.

The one thing for sure I know, is that if you come over as too keen, too needy, angry or too desperate, or indeed, in a hurry to settle down this will put men off once they start to see that. I am not saying you are any of these things, but its something to check your not doing or saying anything. A lot of men hate this too soon. The thing that makes me mention this is you mention it being a nightmare about seeing couples and babies in the grocery store.

Hugs.