I'm losing a good friend

Something has been really getting to me lately and maybe someone could help me understand/deal with it. I was let go from my job about 2 1/2 months ago, and I had made a lot of friends there, so I was very worried that I would lose touch with everyone. I was really concerned about my best friend Mary, who started there about the same time I did. After knowing her for a short while, I could tell she was severly bi-polar. On her down days she would get very hostile and angry, and no one was safe from her moods, sometimes she would be extremley mean to me, and at one point I was ready to quit because of it. But I knew she had lost a lot of friends because of her behavior, and I cared for her so much that I decided to stick with it and understand it wasn't about me. So I would let her have the room she needed, and was always there for her, and our friendship just kept getting better and better. She talked to me about her relationships with guys, I talked to her about the girls I liked, we were always trying to help each other thru stuff like that. When I left the job I moved away, and right before we had this big goodbye, crying and hugging each other in the car for like 20 minutes. I gave her some postcards with my address on them and told her she could call me anytime as well. I moved out of state and was gone for 4 weeks, and never got anything or heard anything from her. She never answers my calls, I try not to call too much cause that;s something that tends to push her away. Anyway, I've since moved back, and I went by work earlier this week and saw her, but I acted like nothing was wrong even though I was hurt. I didn't bring anything up, and she said she was sorry she never wrote me. I know how hard it can be to write an actual letter, so I can understand that, but now its been over two months and she's never called or answered when I call. I was down about something else the other day, and called her work and said I really needed to talk to someone, and she said she'd call me when she got a chance, thats been 3 days now. She doesn't have email, so thats out, and I just feel like I'll never hear from her again now. But I don't want to bug her too much about it, or say anything, cause I'm afraid she's going to feel wierd and then be afraid to talk to me. I just love her so much, more than any non-romantic relationship I've ever had. I've been losing a lot of sleep lately and some days I have tears in my eyes all day about it. I miss her so much. I think maybe the emotional good bye scared her or something, I don't know. I'm a really really sensitive guy and I'm always worried that I'm bugging people by showing my emotions so much. Anyway, maybe someone can help, i don't know what to do.

Why don't you invite her for coffee (or lunch, or whatever) one day she is free. Then after some trivial talk etc. just talk to her about all this? That you miss her friendship and basically where do you stand. You will know how to couch these terms but basically having a heart-to-heart might help.

i agree with Always..........invite her for a coke or lunch and try to talk it out.....it's worth the try..........xoxoxo pat

Yeah, that probably is a good idea. Although she never answers her phone, I always have to call her work and I really feel like I'm forcing her into talking to me that way. That's how I did it last Monday, when she said she'd call me when she got a chance. I think I need some time to try and not focus on her, so maybe I'll wait a couple of weeks and if she still doesn't call I'll call her work again and see if she wants to meet on her break or something. Do you think that sounds alright?

Hi Frankguy,
I think that is a good idea, to wait and then try again. I know if it were me in your situation, I would want things resolved as quickly as possible, but that is not always possible, especially if she is not answering her phone.

It seems you think this friendship is really worth saving, so I hope everything works out for you. If you ever want to talk, I am here for you! (And no, I wouldn't think you are too needy!)

Love and Best Wishes,
Zen

Wow, she is lucky to have such a devoted friend.
Is it possible she is going through something? Is she really Bipolar, or is that just an idea someone assumed?
If she has been DXed by a mental health professional, and is in treatment, she may be going through some things, non related to you, so it might be good if you don't take her not calling you, to heart.
I get times, I just do not want to answer my calls, kind of like my down time, and I need to be alone or just time for me. I know it sounds odd, but even those I love, I will return a call or tell them I'm relaxing, and I will call them back. Sadly, I'll get caught up in something snd forget to call, or even realize it's too late or early in the day. Giving her space, may be a good idea, but eventually try her again, like the others her have already replied with.
I hope this was of some help, as you get replies to your post, you are going to see the wonderful support the members offer.
Lots of luck with this, and any new job searches you may on.

DE