He (all men) are just not into you. Accepting reality and being ok with it

I have had only one boyfriend ever!!!! Didn't work, done! You wouldn't guess this was being written by a 52 year old woman. I keep reading and hearing that every person I have ever met or come into contact with has had several relationships.

I was diagnosed with depression and ADD at 50. I don't look unusual or below average looking and I am above average intelligent. I am not overweight, or deformed, in fact, I have a really good figure. I have a good job, independent, support myself, don't have any unsavory past and have a wonderful social life.

I smile all the time, never use bad words or talk about people behind their backs. I am kind of like the cookie baking girl next door.

But men aren't attracted to me, I mean they are really sweet and kind and respectful and "he is just not into you" Even after all these years I still have my feelings hurt. I need to learn how to not take it personal...but how?

Hello 2_b_free,

Are men involved in your social life? Do you go to events in town, like county fairs, parades, concerts, parks?? If you do attend these things, do you go alone or with other people? Do you meet a lot of people at work?

I would guess that you're meeting the same type's of men ~ and that it just isn't the right mix for you. I know that it is hard not to take "not the right guy for you" personally. That hurts. Emotionally, if we're interested in someone, they should be interested in us. Of course, it doesn't work that way because we all have intellectual sides as well. How can I help you prevent feeling hurt?

The only way I can think of to help you is to advise you is to step out of your comfort zone just a little bit. Something you're doing just isn't working in finding a romantic partner. Maybe you could try taking a class at a local college, to pick up a new interest and skill. Maybe you'll find a man who is interested in the same type of thing and you can explore things further together. I'd recommend taking that avenue.

Very best wishes to you...

guys are fragile, despite the false media images in films and tv. I am terrified of being hurt also. I have had delusions that a woman liked me, when in reality, she did not. I am cautious about assuming about the feelings of another, as a result. It hurt too much for me to try that again. I look for strong woman who are honest about how they feel and that can say NO very easily. My wife felt that sometimes she needed to just please me, and that was her only obligation. This hurt because I and all men, have emotions and feel just as deeply as women. We cope with these emotions by self soothing and bonding with each other as friends. I've learned to never expect a woman to be attracted or be affectionate toward me. I enjoy it when it is there, but if not, I still need to cope. For a guy to extend affection toward you, i'm sure he would be afraid you might laugh accidently or be disgusted. This is a painful experience for men. We protect ourselves against it. I hope this helps. Brook.

I wonder if men might be intimidated by you? They may sense that you're brighter than they are, or more successful than they are, or more independent than they would want a woman to be -- they might want a woman they could take care of, and perhaps you portray yourself as one who definitely does NOT need anyone to take care of you!

I'm NOT suggesting that you "dummy up" just to catch a man, by any means!! Does the school there offer any enrichment classes at night? Perhaps you could take a class or two, and at the same time maybe meet some people that way? A good place to meet others is at the Library. You've probably thought of these things already.

Anyway -- I wish you all the best my friend. I KNOW you'll find someone. You're too good a catch to let go! God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee