[kvinneakt]

I don't know what to do. Today I accidentally saw a letter a coworker sent to our union. She was quitting the union because I had become a steward. She knows I saw it because it was when I was doing some maintenance on her computer and it was randomly selected to see if Word was working. I had no choice but to ask her why? She said because I have recently become too disturbed and wanted nothing remotely to do with me. She said that a conversation I had with her scared her so badly, and another persone who overheard, that they almost called 911. I had no idea. My recollection was that I was upset because I saw that this person and my boss were effectively undermining my paycheck to this person's benefit. Who would not be upset? But threatening? I sure don't think so. Today I told this person that I was sorry it was so bad, that I had no idea I came across that way and did not know what to do. I can say that this happened while I was off meds and on a downward spiral that was unrecognized by me. So, maybe I was nuts. I truly don't know what to do.

I have written the union president and withdrawn my stewardship. I have asked her for advice, but that is not really her domain.

I am thinking that I could call the company employee assistance office for advice, but don't know if I can trust them. Has anyone had experience, good or bad, with EAP people?

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

[(JD)]

You are in the midst of normal politics. Personally, I wouldn't worry about what these two are saying. And the others are right, they have to document what they think they heard, and it has to be pretty blatant for discipline. AnD just what discipline are you afraid of, being human?

I worry more about YOU. This is a huge responsiblity. I would rather hear you resigned because you have decided (if it is) IT IS IN YOUR best interest to. (For your own good, on your own not their decision)

Please research anything I suggest before believing...

[Willow]

Whoa kvinne... your experience gives me flashbacks to a bad job experience of my own. I don't envy your position and do think you plans to look for another position are correct. My situation ended in my being blackballed and made to look really bad. I did document and gave a really good exit interview with lots of facts. I doubt anything came of it, but I did have my ducks in a row when it happened. They had to treat me properly and give me severance pay too! Praying all works out well for you. By the way... the new job I got is the best I've ever had. The other place did me a favor! Hope it works that way for you too. Don't lose heart. I know it's hard when you are in the middle of the conflict though

[conklinca]

I would go to my boss and say, "(Other employee) was upset because she felt I acted (whatever). I hoped I did not come across this way to you or anyone else, because I try to be a good employee. Do you have any suggestions on how I can improve" Put the boss on YOUR side by letting your boss know you're willing to put out the extra effort to better yourself, no matter who was right or wrong, if this is possible in your work environment.

[kvinneakt]

This would be great except my problem co-working and the boss are best buddies on the job and off.

I am documenting and saving evidence. I have reviewed some old notes and found a forgotten incident where the co-worker did unto me the same as she alledges, but worse. There are also multiple witnesses. It was not just one incident, but multiple ones. When I asked her to stop or else I would ask the boss (her buddy) to intervene it only made her madder and more hostile.

I did not tell the boss anything. It is funny how I was willing to let it go, but she makes written complaints from the start. It would be interesting to point this out to her, but I am not going to unless cornered.

The best bet yet is to find a new job. The interview I had for last Thursday was postponed due to bad weather. It is now on for the coming Monday afternoon.

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

[Willow]

Best wishes to you on your job search!

[conklinca]

Good luck on getting your new job--I hope everything works out for you!

[FearsomeAnna]

Kvinn,

Good luck today!! I've got my fingers crossed for you!!

Anna

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

[Audrey]

kvinneakt, is there in anyone in your office that knows that you are on medication? Because if there is they might just be trying to do soemthing to get you to step down. If that person didn't want you to find that note, I would think that they would have hidden it better. Also, it's very comendable that you appoligized, if anything it shows that you take responsibility for your actions, and your not a diffucult employee. If no one else in your family has known you to do anything like that and you didn't think you did anything wrong, then trust your gut instict on that one.
-Audrey

[Audrey]

kvinneakt, sorry i didn't read the rest of the posts, I would have to agree that in the future, don't apoligize until you have had time to think about if it was you or not, especially in bussiness situtaions like that. All i was saying is that your apoligy could be looked at by the company as a good thing as well, so don't give up yet.

[kvinneakt]

Well, not having had a job interview for over 30 years has revealed a need for some practice. Hmmmm.

I am certain I did not get the job I was hoping for. I really blew the interview. It was fine until the question "Describe a difficult situation with a customer or coworker and how you resolved it."

Oh, *****. Nothing would come to mind execept what I have described here and that is far from resolved. I was clearly flustered and embarassed. I was stuck, very stuck. It did not take a genius to read my body language. "This guy has 'issues'."

So, no call. Rats. I am going to have to have something ready to pull out the next time that very obvious question is asked.

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

[conklinca]

Don't be too hard on yourself. If it makes you feel better, when I applied for a child care job I made the totally inappropriate comment, "I love 'em to death" about kids, after which there was a long and uncomfortable pause during which I considered what horror movies the mother might have watched in which babysitters make this comment only to end up being mass murderers or something. (I got the job anyway, and it was one of the most fun jobs ever.) In the end, it's all in the competition, and guaranteed, nobody answers every question perfectly.

[kvinneakt]

Well, golly! The HR interviewer called me back!

Not for this job, but he said he liked me and wanted to work with me in the future when a better job match came up.

Cool! This seems to be one of those baby steps in the right direction.

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

[dexter]

oh EXCELLENT!

I wanted to say before that sometimes your impression of how an interview went is completely different from how how their impression was, so even if you thought you "blew it" they might have regarded you very highly. i wasn't sure if you were anticipating not getting a callback or if the time frame for notification had passed in your instance.

in any case obviously they picked up good vibes from your interview. hope something will open up soon for you there, it is a big step in the right direction imo

congratulations!

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[FearsomeAnna]

Huzzah! That is good news indeed. It looks like there is still plenty of chances to get into a job where there is less BS - if you don't mind my asking, what do you do?

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

[kvinneakt]

I am presently a unix computer system administrator for a very large corporation. It is a job most folks would die for. Most of the time I have about an hour's work, stretching it out, per day. The rest of the time? Solitaire, mahjong, civilization, internet, email, etc. Right now, however, I am doing a big desktop pc domain migration that keeps me very busy all day and will for about the next 6 months. Hallelujah! It is a great job when I am busy. You might ask why I don't do something with my spare time. Good question. I have learned to play 2 musical instruments, gone to near completion of nursing school, and written 50 megs of technical documentation. (Why not become a nurse? because at the time I was in school they were downsizing nurses and there were no jobs. There was also a very difficult work/school time conflict. To finish school now would require starting over. Too much for me.)

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

[conklinca]

Congratulations, and good luck!

[FearsomeAnna]

I understand about the nursing - my mother was a high-risk ob/gyn nurse when she was younger. she met my dad and after they got married they moved to FL where she intended to continue....but found out that FL paid nurses something like 50 cents above minimum wage under really crappy working conditions. So, she went to work at the family company instead and is now the vice president of a 150 person, 20 million dollar a year company. She's great! She is so good at HR and all the insurance crap that I have to go through for my pdoc, etc. - she's a lifesaver, actually (still? ). It seems that nursing, one of the most important jobs on this planet, has so little respect by both the non-medical world and by some of the nurses themselves. And we wonder why a hospital can be a very, very scary place to be these days.....

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

[heatherm]

Congratulations {{{{{{{{{{{{kvinn}}}}}}}}}}}!

What a great attitude you have too....good for you!


Heather