attachment disorder

i love someone with treatment resistant depression. at least, that seems to be the most likely diagnosis.

we aren't in a relationship, but we are friends.

i don't have depression, but my borderline personality disorder comes with a hefty dose of it from time-to-time. with major depression, though, it seems like there is often a struggle with attachment in relationships.

does anyone here struggle with attachment issues?
how do you see the people in your life? your loved ones?

my bpd makes it hard to feel secure in relationships. i seek validation. he has an issue with attachment. it feels right now like loving him is futile, or trying to cultivate the relationship, to attend to it.

does anyone have any advice that might help?

No, the alliance between bpd and untreatable depression is not promising.

Hi There,

I have attachment issues and abandonment issues too.

How do I see my loved ones, my Wife? With ambivalence to be honest. One minute she's the centre of my world, I adore her and I think the sun shines out of her backside. The next for no apparent reason to anyone else in the world I despise her. It could be that she is going to work or out with her friends. It's like she takes part of me with her. I feel frustrated when she's gone but while she is with me I feel like she doesn't love me.

I don't really have any advice with it to be honest as I don't know how to deal with it myself

Hey visiblestars, I have attachment difficulties too.
In my case I'm a control freak, I like to think that if everything is perfect than is all is well, the smallest flaw is anarchy. So I tend to see everyone as unreliable and dangerous, so people are the enemies that I can't help but love.
Advice huh :/? BPD is incurable, you'll need to adapt to it sadly, though I hear Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) has been met with praise in the BPD field. To be honest, I'd suggest seeing a psychiatric doctor if you haven't already, therapy too. Personality Disorders are extremely complex and highly overdiagnosed. In the meantime, try to ground yourself if you become emotional and keep preoccupied when you're on your own. Easier said than done I know, but laying down to die won't be too peachy either.
Good luck, if I think of anything useful than I'll let you know .

Just to mention that you are probably talking about BPD.

Wikipedia: "Attachment disorder is a broad term intended to describe disorders of mood, behavior, and social relationships arising from a failure to form normal attachments to primary care giving figures in early childhood, resulting in problematic social expectations and behaviors. Such a failure would result from unusual early experiences of neglect, abuse, abrupt separation from caregivers after about 6 months of age but before about three years of age, frequent change of caregivers or excessive numbers of caregivers, or lack of caregiver responsiveness to child communicative efforts. A problematic history of social relationships occurring after about age three may be distressing to a child, but does not result in attachment disorder."

"with major depression, though, it seems like there is often a struggle with attachment in relationships." - yes, to some extent, but these issues are transient (present while depression is present, and then go away). The issues with the true attachment disorder do not go away so easily.

But any which way you probably need therapy.