[ShaunaTheShy]

Yesterday, my boyfriend told me that there are days when he doesn't love me. The thing about him is he's controlling and always wants me to do everything he says right away or he starts yelling at me, these are the days he refers to, I know because I asked him. I don't think there's been a single day when he hasn't yelled at me. Whenever I fall behind in housework he acts like I don't do anything at all and calls me lazy, and that I'm taking advantage of him, etcetera. Another thing is he always thinks he knows what I'm thinking or over-exaggerates something I said and makes it sound completely different than the way I know it came out. I just don't know what to do or say to him without him turning on me....how do you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend that you think they need Anger Management?! Even if I did have the courage he'd just talk about how I should just do what I'm told when I'm told. My friends have overheard him yelling at me, turning a molehill into a mountain, over a Skype call I was in with them. They get really mad and tell me I need to leave him. I don't want to leave him though. We've been together for over a year...2 years in August (We started dating on my birthday and his birthday is the day after mine). I don't know what to do, he didn't start off this way...it starting getting like this late last year....I'm starting to feel lonely and depressed all the time. I'm starting to get so stressed I can't sleep. What do I do?! How do I try to communicate with him when he's never willing to listen to anything I have to say?! Any time I try to confront him about something he tries to turn it around and make it my fault. Somebody please help me...I'm out of options...what do I do?!

[outNabout]

Can you see yourself being with this person for the rest of your life?

You've invested a short amount of time relatively speaking. It might seem like forever and the thought of getting out seems overwhelming.

But consider how it might be worse / more painful later on. Do you really want to invest another 2 years in this before moving on then?

It almost sounds like, as I read your message, that you know what you need to do for your own well being.

Know that you are not alone... although feelings of loneliness can be powerfully overwhelming.

I just enjoyed the chat here with others (you can too now that you have enough posts). It helped me feel not so alone.

[astenon]

Shauna,
I know this will be difficult to hear, but I fear your friends are right. You need to get out of that relationship.

Over time he will batter you down. He will make you feel worthless. A relationship should be a partnership and it looks like it's all one way at the moment. This is a sign of how he'll be in later years. You can do better than live a life like that.

Good luck

[Leed]

Sweetie, you may not know this but you're being ABUSED. Emotional and mental abuse is just as bad if not worse than physical abuse because it lasts longer. Physical abuse, the bruises go away and the bones knit, but with emotional abuse, you can't "knit" your emotions or your mind. Those "hurts" stay alot longer.

He's being unreasonable and controlling. Housework isn't the "end all." Housework doesn't mean a darn thing. So what if you're not caught up? Is that the end of the world? There are other things much more important, like the relationship. If he's not interested in healing that, then you need to get OUT.

And how in God's green earth can he tell what you're thinking? Is he a mind reader? Boy he sure is talented. Tell him if he can tell what you're thinking, then THINK ABOUT THIS!!!

You need to get out, sweetie before things get really nasty. You can do alot better than him. Find someone who will love you the way you DESERVE. Fiind someone who will cherish you and take care of you the way you DESERVE. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[hamster-bamster]

Cut the losses and leave ASAP! Agree with your friends and everybody who has posted above me. Emotional abuse, verbal abuse - do not put up with it. It will get worse with time!

[justanomad01]

Yeah your gonna have to think long and hard but I agree with the others about getting out of this relationship. I don't think you wanna be with a guy who is gonna be emotionally abusive. You gotta do what's right for you no matter how hard it may be. Nobody likes the feeling that you can't be trusted especially if that person who doesn't trust you is the person you want to be with. He sounds like a bully.Be strong and stand your ground. You know what's right

You got this, good luck.

[hamster-bamster]

No need to think long and hard: leave him, wish him luck, and recommend that he hire a maid.

[adam_k]

I agree with others. It sounds like a bad relationship. This kind of abuse will undermine your needs and self esteem. Short of leaving him, you have stand up for yourself and not put with his abuse. Sometime arguments happen and tempers get flared when there is just cause, but him berating you about housework is not a health relationship. If he yells at you, stand up and tell him you won't be spoken to like that. If he continues leave. I think moving on to someone else is the easier course than trying to fix him. You deserve to be treated with respect and care from your partner.

[hamster-bamster]

Shauna, how have you been doing?

[tinyrabbit]

Why don't you want to leave him?

[janefarmer]

You should definitely leave the relationship. Dominance should not exist in relationships and is unhealthy. Women also have a say in the relationship whether the other party likes it or not. You will feel so much better when you leave. You need to find someone that understands you and that is willing to have your intake on things. This guy obviously doesn't respect you or knows what it is. You deserve better.