opinions wanted...

This is my first attempt in a long, long time at discussing a problem I've had my whole life, but I have to try. I'm in my mid-30s and have never had a romantic-sexual relationship of any sort with a woman. In looking at my relationships with people in general, I would say that I've never fully trusted anybody before, certainly not in the last 20 years. I've always been very shy and withdrawn which hasn't helped matters any, and the idea of physical intimacy has always terrified me a little. I know I'm afraid of failing in this area and consequently have avoided any situation where the possibility might arise. However, I've finally admitted to myself that it's not going to go away on its own and have started the process of finding a therapist. My question though is this...do women find it appealing being with a completely inexperienced guy, and one as old as myself? I find my current state humiliating and embarassing and am under the impression that a woman would feel the same way. Any thoughts are appreciated...thanks.

You shouldn't worry that a woman might not like you for you lack of experience. I can honestly say that it would not bother me. I find guys with little or no experience more appealing anyways becuase I assume that they aren't creeps. Nice guys do finish last but sometimes it's worth taking time. Be open to all possibilities. If you meet someone you like try it as a friendship and see if something more develops. That should take off some of the "dating" pressure.

Any woman, even an experienced one, that is worth having will not make you feel guilty or ashamed for being inexperienced. It has to do with this funny little thing called "morals" . Though I was, ahem, experienced when I met my fiance, he was far ahead of me. He is the kindest, most loving man I've ever known and I'll be proud to call myself his wife. Experience doesn't make you a creep - how you treat others does.

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

Relationships aren't all about sex. Don't worry about what girl might think about it. Girls often tend to be empathic anyway. Besides that, but it makes you different. Girls like that. It's actually a turn on.

Thanks to all of you for the comments and encouragement--it's much appreciated. I made an appointment to see a therapist next week, so hopefully I can make some progress.

That's great! I'm so glad to hear that. Keep us posted! We're nosy.

Nah, we just want to help - you sound like a great guy who is deserving of a wonderful woman. Good luck!

Anna

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

Good for you. I hope you have found a good therapist. Yes, let us know how it goes.. it will be interesting to see how it goes.