why do I do this....

So my ex and I broke up over four and a half months ago....we care for one another very much and are trying to maintain a friendship...it hasn't been easy but because we care for each other we are trying to make it work. Here is my question... my ex has a new girlfriend and even though it is painful, I sometimes ask her intimate questions about her new relationship. Why does a person do this, especially when the answer is going to hurt??

There may be a wide variety of reasons.

What does she do when you ask?

What is your relationship with her? Those questions are indeed very intimate, so to answer them, she must be in some sort of a close enough relationship with you, right? We do not ask such questions of random people.

It also helps to break connection with an ex and give yourself time to heal and process the break up. You probably need time to move on.

I think trying to remain friends with an ex is like having a scab on you're arm that you keep picking......it won't heal......and then when it finally does it'll leave a scar. Go your own way and look after you!

To me, it seems like you are trying to be strong enough and show that you care by remaining friends with him. You may even be asking the questions in order to get yourself used to hearing what you don't necessarily want to hear. You think that by facing the situation, it will help you come to terms with the reality of your situation. You can either separate yourself from it or stick with what you are doing, but it seems like the situation isn't really letting you be honest with yourself...or your friends. Good luck. I know it's hard to find balance between what you think is good for others and what you think is good for yourself.