The Paradox of Online Communication

The Paradox of Online Communication

Have you ever noticed how conflict can get blown out of proportion online?

What may begin as a small difference of opinion, or misunderstanding, becomes a major issue very quickly.

Conflict can be difficult at the best of times, but what is it about online communication that seems to ignite flaming and make conflicts more difficult to resolve?

Handling conflict constructively is hard at the best times, and it can be even harder online.

It can take a great deal of effort, care, and thoughtfulness to address differences, tensions, and conflicts online.

Paradoxically, some of the same things that contribute to heightened conflict online can contribute to peaceful resolutions as well. The Internet is an ideal place to practice communication and conflict resolution skills.

Just as the absence of visual and auditory cues, the anonymity, invisibility, delayed reactions, and neutralizing of status free us to say what ever negative thing we want, they can also free us to try new, and more positive communication styles and to take all the time we need to do that.

As with any new technology, the Internet can be used to enhance our personal growth and relationships, or to alienate us from each other. It's our choice.

READ MORE HERE

http://www.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/conflict.html

Kali Munro, © 2002
All rights reserved.

I hear you on this one.... and that is why I do my best to not take everything so personally or make it a problem that demands my attention. One must pick and choose their battles..... often leaving the little things to take care of them self.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Hi Petunia,
This site has helped me out a lot with my communication skills. I'm still learning but I AM learning.
Thanks for the link.

good site!

Good site!!!

Great site Petunia. I am fortunate in that IRL I am blessed with excellent communication skills. My job is one in which I am a consultant who may work with one company for a week and another company for years. Some years I have worked for as many as 5 different companies and all the workers. Online , I have seldom to never had an issue I tend to blow it off and not let it nag at me. You know, will it or that person matter to me a year from now.

we all agree with you petal pal, that makes at least 500% !!!

Looks like a great site.... something everyone could benefit from ....

That's a good site, Petunia, ty for posting it

Thanks for posting the site. Internet communication can evolve beyond computer keyboards, but one has to be very careful.I have made friends with people who exchange Christmas cards and three of them and I have met face to face.

That is dangerous, because raport on line is different from actually meeting someone. Expectations and mental images may stray too far from reality. In my case,we still like each other.

The one thing I have found that works in real life & on line is using the communications skill that they train managers with at work. We had to learn how to deal with people with all kinds of backgrounds. To that training, I added the fact that I wanted to treat people the way I wanted to be treated....."with respect" & to build up their confidence in the job they are doing. I remember having a recient college grad working on the project I was on. He initially came across as being rather lazy & not caring about the work he was doing. I realized that he was extremely intelligent & thought that he wasn't being given enough responsibilities. I would talk him through some of the work but he did the work. From there, I kept adding things he had to do & from there, the rest of the guys realized how good he really was. I found out from experience that without giving people the ability to be themselves, then tend to not have the desire to excell with their strengths....& everybody has their strengths. Also, I wanted to make an environment where everyone felt safe enough to say what they wanted to say. Those were the things that management training showed me were the right way to work well with almost everyone. Unfortunately, when I didn't end up being treated that way, I had a huge problem in the area where I worked & that was when I ended up with huge anxiety attacks & went out on medical leave of absense. I can truely see where the way a person is treated makes all the difference how they can relate to their work situation & it also can effect their mental & physical wellness. I try hard to always accept everyone's thoughts......I may not always agree, but that doesn't mean that I don't accept what they say as being valuable thinking. I also learned from my Mother how much she would take things I said personally. I always felt that what I said was what I meant & if she took it personally, it was her problem & not mine as to how she took it. I would always leave her alone to sort it out & sooner or later, she would come around & it would just end up going away with time. I always knew what she was doing....she was always allowed to say what she thought & I wouldn't be manipulated by her to not be entitled to the same respect. I also have always felt that if someone is accused of something....they have a right to tell their side of the situation. I have been in the middle of something like that where only one side was presented.....I was not about to let it stop there.....I have always felt that both sides should be presented. These are all parts of responsible communication & it usually works out for both sides of a conversation when both sides are allowed to represent themselves openly.

This is a great post & a good site to check out,
Debbie

Wow that was lovely words..and so true...I know personally...I have been in a bad situation and never told my story...too shy...to afraid...to humiliated to talk about it to anyone...When you are being harassed you ar too humiliated to tell anyone...and I would go home crying everyday and didn't want everyone to see how hurt I was either...Wish you had been my boss...You are very caring person...Thank you for that!

so true...thank you...I will try to always think before I speak...

Oh thank you Tunia for that link...... was very informative and helpful.

You are so kind...... I like to think of you as the "peacekeeper"! (hope that's ok--it's meant to be a compliment)

Thank you for this great post.

online communication has to start with honesty and always stay honest. we can't see facial expressions but we can always tell and be told the truth.

fayrody..you are so right...but I was wondering why would anyone not tell the truth? How can this help anyone's mental health if they are not going to open up and be honest?

truth, the real "bottom line"

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fayerody said:
online communication has to start with honesty and always stay honest. we can't see facial expressions but we can always tell and be told the truth.

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fayerody