[JustMe1409]

I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm dealing with my depression. I'm currently in therapy and it's working for me.
But my mom is not making it easy for me.
My mom is kind of mental herself. I'm thinking bipolar disorder but I'm not a therapist so I'm not sure.

Anyway, as I'm trying to overcome my depression many things are going better over time except the relationship with my mother.
She can be very nice but mostly she just makes me feel bad.

I know that when we are fighting I'm also not very nice but I'm not taking it as far as her.

When I'm mad or we're fighting she says things like 'I am going to call the police' or 'I'm commiting you in a mental istitution' or 'I don't want you anymore' or 'Go live with your dad, I'm kicking you out' (my parents are divorced) or 'You are unable to live with. I don't think you will find anyone who can' or 'You're crazy / Insane ' (In my case, that doesn't help. It only makes me very, very mad)

I'm also overweight and it makes me feel really bad. My mom knows that I'm miserable. And still she makes fun of my weight or calls me 'a lazy fat pig'

And when we have a therapy session together, she is saying how I am the bad person and I'm awful to her. And apparently I am 'trying to make her depressed and crazy' ?!

Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong? Please, any advice is appreciated

[hamster-bamster]

OK, a lot of things...

1) You need physical exercise. Move your body. NOT to lose weight, but to feel good and be less depressed. Dancing, swimming, walking, weights are good to add but cardio is still necessary, in some form. Here is a GREAT blog by a really fat yet gorgeous and super flexible dancer:

danceswithfat | Dances With Fat

So moving is absolutely essential, both for now and for the rest of your life. You must find some way of moving your body that you ENJOY. Does not have to be in the gym, does not have to be too structured, but you need something.

2) Restate the thoughts in your OP as a bulleted list and present to the therapist in the joint T session with the mother.

3) What IS your r/s with the dad?

4) Have the T explain to the mother that she CANNOT commit you to a mental institution. She does not have that power. You are not suicidal, but simply depressed, and lots of folks are depressed and still walk around at large (or stay in bed in their apartments or homes). Ask the T to explain it.

I will have more to suggest but please answer (3) above first.

Sorry you are going through this!!

Heya

Can I say congrats with the therapy and so glad it's helping you. It can be so much work, so really pleased for you that you're feeling better.

And your mum.. am sorry. In an ideal world, our parent's should be our biggest fans - there to help us, guide us, and be there - even when they tell us stuff we don't want to here about our personalities.

But there are ways to say these things, and really, there is no excuse to mean to you, nor to threaten you with institutions or to throw you out. These words can make things seem very shaky, make a person feel insecure and it's hard not to be so very hurt.

I am afraid that if therapy with your mum isnt working, then all you can do is try not to raise to the bait and bide your time. If living with your father (instant solution) isn't doable, then the best thing is to work hard at school, try and get the best education you can, and then when you are old enough you'll be able to get a good job and afford to leave home. I know it feels like forever, but it may make you feel better to have a goal to work towards, give you a little bit of the control back with your life. When you have left home, things will be different. You'll be an adult, and you are then in a position to keep your mum at arms length, and see her when you want to and feel like it. You won't hear mean things all the time either.

Am sorry that you've a mother who is difficult. It's not fair and nobody at your age should be feeling the way you do, nor have to listen to cruel words.

Hugs.