[pktrain]

Recently, I had a brief emotional affair with my co-worker. My wife came to know about it and since then we are having lot of friction. She has lot of mood swings from anger to sadness to frustration...She sometimes talk abt separation... sometimes want to work with me.. sometimes just gets very mad at me. I don't know how to deal with it. I would like to work back on the marriage..but just i am clueless and also frustrated with my wife's mood swings... Does anyone have any practical advice that will work?

[Benetduncan]

How long has this been going on for? If it's recent then I would give her some time to grieve, because the way she sees you and the way she views herself in the relationship has completely changed. It may take a while for the dust to settle.

Have you thought about couple's therapy?

One piece of advice I would give to you is to rediscover each other. An emotional affair and the heartache your wife is going through put barriers between the both of you. Go on holiday together far away from the distractions of home. Do something intimate and open.

Just remember that your wife considers you differently. She sees you out of character and not complicit with or commited to her (love after all is passion, complicity and commitment). Maybe you need to work on fixing those aspects.

Best of luck

[catrules]

I went through this with my hubs, but his affair was physical instead of emotional. It took me a long time to get over it, but we did counseling together and did an in house separation, meaning that we slept in separate rooms etc. It was hard work on both of our parts that led to us being able to stay together. Do not just wait for your wife to "get over" this. Be active in fixing the damage and own it. Make sure that you listen to her if she wants to talk and answer her questions honestly. Do not think that because this was an emotional affair, that it is any less painful. In my opinion there would be cases where that would be more damaging than a purely physical affair. Best of luck to you and I hope that your relationship can heal.

[almostthere]

As a married man, who, sorry to say, had an affair with a co-worker, I know what u must be going thorugh. My wife also discovered my affair and it took it's tool on our marraige.

It has been documented in studies conducted on this topic, that when there is somethiong lacking in a marraige relationship, men, and sometimes woman, look outside of their marraige.

I don't have to tell you have destructive this is to the marraige, and how it's devastating effects on the children involved. I know... been there...done that.

Because of my decision to have the affair I had to endure alienation from my entire family. They want nothing to do with me, and my so called girlfriend, who told me she loved me, which was a lie, wants nothing to do with me either. My friend.... the consequences are not worth it. But people do it anyway, everyday.

Anyway, if you think that your marraige can be saved than give it a try. But keep in mind, that once the sacred bond of a marraige is destroyed the outcome almost always it bad and the taste it leaves in your mouth is more bitter than sweet!

I hope u can work things out and make the right decision.

Regards,

"almostthere"

Originally Posted by pktrain

Recently, I had a brief emotional affair with my co-worker. My wife came to know about it and since then we are having lot of friction. She has lot of mood swings from anger to sadness to frustration...She sometimes talk abt separation... sometimes want to work with me.. sometimes just gets very mad at me. I don't know how to deal with it. I would like to work back on the marriage..but just i am clueless and also frustrated with my wife's mood swings... Does anyone have any practical advice that will work?