Falling in love

I I have met someone but i am afraid of getting to close to her. i just got out of a bad relationship and i know if i get any kind of affection then i will;l fall in love with this person and i won't know much about them. But on the other hand if i don't do anything i am afraid that i will chase her away because she will think i am not interested in her. I think it is to early to be seeing other people with my depression as bad as it gets. because i will latch onto the first person who shows affection to me in any way.

I think YOU answered your on question...... Now is NOT the best time for a new relationship and to move any further (closer) would not be fair to you or her.

Rhaposody is so right Alf...

Alf, it's been my experience that it's not a good idea to get emotionally involved with the opposite sex when our emotions are controling us rather than us controling them. It's not an easy taks in the best of times! We run a risk of confusing love with need or any other emotions that wouldn't be healthy to base a relationship on.

There's nothing that says that you can't start getting to know this woman better in a non-threatening environment, though... and very slowly while you work on your own problems.

Hang tight and good luck!

Is it an option to just be friends for now and get to know eachother slowly? I agree that it's not a good idea to get too close right now, as far as a romantic relationship. You have to take care of yourself first and foremost. It sounds like you are feeling very vulnerable right now, and speaking from experience, that can be a recipe for disaster.

Still, I understand your not wanting to lose her. I think a casual friendship might be a good idea, just go at your own pace. Some of the best relationships start out as supportive friendships.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best!

Sujin

I agree with Sujin and the other posters here. It is not a good idea to become romantically involved while you are in emotional recovery (speaking from experience here!).
Healing thoughts,
Patty

Can you use your self-knowledge, the knowing that it's not true love but just that she's showing affection to help remind you that you are not really in love, just appreciating her affection? There's nothing bad or wrong about enjoying affection! As long as you remain clear that it's not love right away and work hard at growing any relationship and keeping the communication lines open and honest, I don't see anything wrong with working on getting close.

My husband and I spent at least 6 months at the beginning of our relationship being in "fond." We knew we had something but did not "commit" to it, just let it develop in its own time. We still smile at our "falling in fond." :-)

That's lovely..."falling in fond!"
I think, though (speaking from my own experience), that when someone is hurting emotionally, or not secure in meeting other people, that the much needed human contact and physical affection can easily turn into feelings of "love." I did this a year or so ago after a three year abstinance from dating. Thought I was ready, but then because of physical attraction, became too soon involved sexually. I quickly fell "in love," and he did not! How much better off I would have been if I had just allowed myself to "fall in fond!"
Patty

I would just take it slow, I would tell her about your problems with previous relationships. The problem is sometimes you have the right person in front of you and we are too afraid to go for it, due to our past relationships because we believe the past will repeat itself, but if you don't try then you will never know what could have been.
I know you are suffering from depression, but maybe she will be the one that understands and helps you cope with it. Depression will last a lifetime but when you have someone who loves you and is there for you, you are not fighting the battle alone anymore.