[popgoestheweasel]

Hello all. I have never been diagnosed, but judging from the articles I've read I may be suffering from depression. I intend to get myself checked one day.

I've been through a breakup since end of last year. I was a wreck during the first few months but eventually I have got slightly better. Sadly it was only temporary. Unfortunately this depression is coming back to me lately and this time it is much worse. Sometimes when I loose control of my anger I would just hit myself really hard. It's one of the few ways for me to let out the anger. It's either that or distract myself with shows or books these days. I mostly spend time alone in my room.

The come back of my sadness made me think that there might be more to this than just a typical 'after-breakup' feeling.

It's silly that I still love that person who decided to kick me out of his life. It's been more or less half a year since the breakup and he is still on my mind always.

I plan to meet up with a specialist soon. I had proposed this idea to my relative but another one of them just said that I'm being "Ridiculous!". Talking to them doesn't work either, since both sides share different views that could lead us into arguments. I feel like nobody truly understands my condition at all. I feel really destroyed inside.

At times I wish I could be like some girls; Moving on by getting themselves a new guy by the first week of the breakup. A typical 'Switching boyfriends = changing clothes' situation, as some would call it. But I'm just not like that. It's not me.

Hello Pop and welcome to PC.

Sorry you're hurting still over your ex.. and 7 months can feel like forever and no time at all when you miss someone and I think that's ok. It's hard when someone lets us go.

And yes, it does sound like you're depressed but pleased to read that you're off to see a specialist soon to help you. In the mean time, and I know that it feels like the last thing you want to do, but it would help am sure if you got yourself out and about - start living again. Spending most of your time alone in your room allows you too much time to think and dwell, and this will not help you move forward. Do you have a couple of good friends that you can go see? Anything you used to love doing as a hobby, or a film you want to go see at the cinema? Do you like keep fit? That can help a lot. Anything really that may give you a little lift, even for an hour or two. Sure, the first few times will be hard to get out and about, but it will get easier. The more you do equals the less time you have to think of your ex, and will help you get more balance with the time you spend thinking.

And there's nothing wrong with still loving someone - that stuff doesn't fade away overnight, so I really don't think its silly, but it also doesn't mean that you let that love for him take over your life - nobody is worth that, ever. Sorry to hear your relative wasn't supportive either, but that could be more their issue than yours, so try not to let that upset you too much.

Lastly, try not to hit yourself.. count to ten before acting out if you feel anger. I think tho that as you're hurting you should give yourself a hug instead. Be kind to yourself.

[popgoestheweasel]

Originally Posted by riotgrrrl

Hello Pop and welcome to PC.

Sorry you're hurting still over your ex.. and 7 months can feel like forever and no time at all when you miss someone and I think that's ok. It's hard when someone lets us go.

And yes, it does sound like you're depressed but pleased to read that you're off to see a specialist soon to help you. In the mean time, and I know that it feels like the last thing you want to do, but it would help am sure if you got yourself out and about - start living again. Spending most of your time alone in your room allows you too much time to think and dwell, and this will not help you move forward. Do you have a couple of good friends that you can go see? Anything you used to love doing as a hobby, or a film you want to go see at the cinema? Do you like keep fit? That can help a lot. Anything really that may give you a little lift, even for an hour or two. Sure, the first few times will be hard to get out and about, but it will get easier. The more you do equals the less time you have to think of your ex, and will help you get more balance with the time you spend thinking.

And there's nothing wrong with still loving someone - that stuff doesn't fade away overnight, so I really don't think its silly, but it also doesn't mean that you let that love for him take over your life - nobody is worth that, ever. Sorry to hear your relative wasn't supportive either, but that could be more their issue than yours, so try not to let that upset you too much.

Lastly, try not to hit yourself.. count to ten before acting out if you feel anger. I think tho that as you're hurting you should give yourself a hug instead. Be kind to yourself.

Hey riotgrrrl. First of all I wanted to thank you for your reply. Ever since the breakup I have been giving a shot at trying out new hobbies, with the exception of lately. I have to admit that these days it is difficult for me to get up and do something even though I've been meaning to try it out. I will start doing it step by step since the interest is already present. And I'm certainly glad you don't find it silly. It's a relief to meet people who understand, because I've met the ones who are the opposite. I guess I'm the type that will never let go of my love towards that person. I just wish that things would be better. I couldn't take anymore hardships. Whether it is emotionally, mentally, etc.

Once again I appreciate your kind reply. I will try expressing my anger in a more positive manner. Also, I hope you don't mind this brief reply. As I have a lot on my head it has becoming slightly difficult for me to express myself via typing sometimes.

[doggiedo]

I don't think it's silly that you still love someone who is no longer in your life. It makes sense if that person was really special to you. I think the key is finding peace with the previous relationship, being able to see what happened, learn, and move on. It's easier said the done, I know.

I've been divorced for 3 years and I still have pain and miss him. No matter how much he hurt me. It's tough. But try and be open with the person you're going to talk to...hopefully they can help u work through this. Hang in there Hun.

[popgoestheweasel]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

I don't think it's silly that you still love someone who is no longer in your life. It makes sense if that person was really special to you. I think the key is finding peace with the previous relationship, being able to see what happened, learn, and move on. It's easier said the done, I know.

I've been divorced for 3 years and I still have pain and miss him. No matter how much he hurt me. It's tough. But try and be open with the person you're going to talk to...hopefully they can help u work through this. Hang in there Hun.

I think the pain will always remain somewhere deep inside of myself. I'll forever be damaged on my insides, still caring and hoping for that person. I wish that I could wipe all of these painful memories out of my mind, such as a memory wipe. Because now I can say that I really cannot move on.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through that situation. Hugs for you. If only there is something that could relieve this so much pain of ours. Also I'm glad that you don't find it silly. Honestly some people in RL finds it otherwise, and the way they say to just "Get over it" made it sound so easy. It is definitely not.

[popgoestheweasel]

I replied to riotgrrrl's before seeing doggiedo's message here. I hope reply to both of you will eventually come out soon, instead of a mistake from my part. Forum noob here.