[dannyisaninja]

I have been dating a girl on and off for about 3 1/2 years. im 26 and shes 25, In these years she's probably dumped me 34 times, it's always over something stupid or I fibbed about something small- you name it. We've have grown to not respect one another and towards the end it just got so bad there wasent much making sense of it, if i wasent trusting her she wasent trusting me- always over BS.

She dumped me for good 4th of July again because apparently I haven't changed and throwing a BBQ with my friends for the holiday was "immature".

Now to my defense I've always tried my best to please her, I always came crawling back like a dog and always apologized, even when she'd do things wrong and flip it on Me. She controlled me.... Towards the end shed tell me that she apologized for being with me so long because she never trusted me and never really forgave me. Now I've never cheated on her, I have lied about stupid things cause I didn't want her to get mad but I'd always come clean and always be there.

After so many heartbreaks and being told I don't know anything about love...and being ridiculed, demasculated and disrespected I've finally decided I have to move on....but the draw she has on me always has me there at her beck and call.

She's not talking to me now but I wonder if I were to actually try and move on and leave her alone for real, not get back after 2-5-or even 9 months......will she respect me? If I changed my life and started caring more about myself would she notice?

I ultimately wonder if time apart from a rocky relationship, can help build a peaceful one in the future, id like to one day be able to reach out to her again and speak to her....or be her friend whatever it may be. I am friends with a Ex but it took us 3 years to talk again- but we never had this many problems- what do you all think?

[NWgirl2013]

I think I would move on, painful as it may be, for real, not as a ploy to maybe get back together someday, or to get her attention.
It doesn't really sound healthy for you. 'Time apart' is not even a relevant term anymore. It's just 'time' now, and it should be spent actually making a new life. And you have to respect yourself, what she thinks or doesn't is her business now, not yours. Please let it go. She made her wishes clear. You are not a human yo-yo, so don't act like one.
Best of luck on your new journey to happiness....

[rise__above]

Personally, I would move on. I have been in quite a few rocky relationships, and let me say, it's not worth staying if you have actually broken up numerous times.

There's something lacking in your relationship if you can't actually stay together for long. Hopefully you'll move on and find someone who will give you more respect, and a more stable relationship.

Best wishes

[hamster-bamster]

Look...

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results . Albert Einstein, (attributed) US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)."

... you tried it 34 times (how do you remember so precisely?!)

...do not expect different results.

I hope more luck will come your way soon, with somebody else.

Originally Posted by dannyisaninja

Now to my defense I've always tried my best to please her, I always came crawling back like a dog and always apologized, even when she'd do things wrong and flip it on Me. She controlled me....

Even with all the dumping and heartache, this alone is reason to move on. Relationships should be equal, kind and loving - not this.

Please be kind to yourself and move on. I know it's hard after so long, and the drama of a relationship like this can be addictive, but I think having a break will let the fog clear and show you that this isn't healthy or fair.

Hugs.

[dannyisaninja]

I guess alot of you are right...but i cant help but feel guilty for alot of what ive done. In the stream i had stupid lies and moments where i would act immature to make her jealous....im a slacker and i honestly feel that i can live a more productive and successful life.

I also always felt that she had the right idea for the future, getting out of miami and leaving this stupid city... I wanted the same- i just was to afraid to make the leap to independence with her, since i havent moved out myself...and im 26.... I havent had the confidence in myself.

That makes me all regret it and myself so much, ive been depressive and suicidal because of this...

my mind tells me that she was right all along, and i made the biggest mistake by being this immature idiot. I imagine her with another guy who has it all together all the time and i just get so hard on myself because i simply lost the girl of my dreams....

...Im a weird Aquarius and so is she...i just never have felt the way i do about a girl like i do with her... i look at her and she makes my motor skills drop lol.... shes really what i want.

but like i said and have told myself a million times.... i ****ed up- i should've walked away a long time ago to really mature and win this the right way but i never did- because i was immature.

...im persistent though...but i just think trying now is only making me look more like a idiot and less like a man. Thats why changing seems like the only solution... Im personally tired with how i havent seemed to amount to anything, (currently a web developer that doesn't save much money cause i smoke too much pot) and on top of basically hating myself i hate that i lost K. (her)

If you want it go for it they say....maybe ive just been going about it the wrong way

[NWgirl2013]

Dude ...

[dannyisaninja]

? i know im pathetic huh.....

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by dannyisaninja

? i know im pathetic huh.....

we are all pathetic in our own ways, from time to time.

Hope you can deal with this.

[dannyisaninja]

well the good news is that im handling it better, ive come to terms that i may not see her for a long time or ever.... but im more hopeful and eager to just be a better man because regardless of who the girl is- i cant be this weak guy anymore

maybe if i do change shell notice and come around again in the future and if she doesn't some other girl will!

i do believe time can settle the dust from this, im just not gonna waste my time waiting for her