Ignored after sex

sammi22 · 12:40 PM

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HeartTornOut · Aug 06, 2013, 09:39 AM

No offense, but the guy sounds like a manipulative jerk. It's hard to explain exactly what he did to you without coming off cruel - but he used you. He's obviously a player and a faker from what it sounds like. I'd be skeptical of the whole ex fiance thing as well. And just because he deleted his Match.com - doesn't mean he didn't just join another site so you wouldn't notice. Delete him off facebook, delete his phone number and avoid him. He's a bad influence on you from what I can tell. He dated you, then made an excuse to break up with you like "i'm not ready?" - that was a lie, to let you off easy so that if he ever wanted to go back at you for a quick something-nothing, he could squeeze in easily because you'd still feel for him, and feel sympathy towards him because of his poor past. Be very weary of that one. You sound like a very nice, and very devoted lady - you can find so much better and you will. Good luck! and if you need someone to vent to more about this, I've got an inbox.

Scotty204 · Aug 06, 2013, 09:43 AM

I hate to say this but it sounds like he used you for sex. His mind is clearly all over the place too so maybe just take a step back for now as he is clearly not in relationship mode at this point

healingme4me · Aug 06, 2013, 10:14 AM

So, sorry to read you are going through this. 1.5 hours is a drop in the bucket for distance. Sorry, that sounds like a lame excuse!! He shouldn't text you that he misses you, if he doesn't mean it!!

And, um, arms crossed, over the chest, after being intimate! ugh...what a J*RK!! Were you tempted to send him home, right away?! As in get the H out of my Bed?!!?

HeartTornOut · Aug 06, 2013, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammi22

Thanks all for the comments. I feel like an idiot! You are right. I feel played and was most likely played. I was played by a 27yr old. I'm 30 ha. All signs were there that he has been and is unavailable. Especially since he's my cousins best friend. Everyone even told me he wasn't ready for anything but like I said, I thought we had a connection. He sent me flowers on V-day, told me he missed me often, even went to the point of telling me he loved me but he was drunk when he told me that. Unfortunately I can't prevent the way I feel and my feelings continued with action. I think the fact that him telling me, when we were dating, that he didn't want to have sex because he hasn't since his fiancé passed away (like I said she passed away about 2 years ago) made me think I was special since all of a sudden he wanted to have sex. Now I'm thinking what if he regrets it?! I thought for sure he would want to talk about it since it was such a big deal in the past. Live and learn. Seriously! I will see him again at family parties/events. I'm just embarrassed by my actions. Yes arms crossed after sex. Once that happened I knew it was over...

Yup, that's manipulative behavior. I had an ex do that as well - used a sob story about a dead ex fiance to get me to feel i was special and all that. the whole i miss you ******** and everything too. Turn him lose and good riddance. And don't feel bad about it - it's no loss to you, it's a gain - if you'd stayed together, he'd have manipulated you into being a lifeless doll he could easily cheat on and win arguments against. You're going to be much better off without this dude. Let his words go in one ear and out the other at any event you see him at...if you know he'll be at an event, bring a friend with you to keep you grounded cause he'll try several things to get back with you every now and again. Guys like this are bad bad bad. Good luck!

tinyrabbit · Aug 06, 2013, 01:01 PM

Read this while it was still up but didn't get to replying then sorry. I hope this doesn't sound sexist but I think guys can all too easily separate sex and emotions. He would probably say he was honest about just wanting to be friends but he seemed to string you along - I'm so sorry, I think you need to let yourself feel hurt and then dust yourself off and move on.

NWgirl2013 · Aug 06, 2013, 02:00 PM

Just got turned onto an interesting site, "People Skills Decoded" Check it out!

It may give you a little "Aha" moment or two. And a stronger backbone ~never a bad thing ...

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