I Feel Like a Bad Girlfriend...

because I'm talking to this guy from work and at first it was just friendly but then I told him I had a boyfriend and he admitted he had a crush on me and I feel some of his questions and actions are too personal for some one I started talking to 2 days ago. I also feel like he's trying to steal me away from my current boyfriend and that makes me uncomfortable. I want to be friends with this guy, but only friends.

I also feel like I'm doing something wrong but I know I'm not. I would feel comfortable with my boyfriend reading all of the messages between us. I don't want to tell him the new guy has a crush on me because I think it'll ruin the chance of us being friends.

Here's what I would do if I were you: Tell your BF about the guy who has a crush on you. Learn from your BF what his limits are, hopefully they will be reasonable. Regularly remind the guy from work that you have a BF whenever an action of his feels too personal. Don't be afraid to express anger when he flirts towards you.

You're not a bad girlfriend for seeking friends. I have been in a lot of situations just like this mostly at university, I think guys are a lot worse at this whole platonic friendship thing. Otherwise, I understand that you want to keep an entertaining person you can connect with as a good friend. I hate losing friends because I just turned them down on dating. It's like, thanks, I thought we liked each other! And then they don't give a crap about you when you won't date them.

Thank you for the advice. I think I'll do that when I have some time to talk to my boyfriend.

Listen. I think it's sad but true is this. A huge number of men can't be friends with women. Let me reword, single men can't be friends with another woman. If men tell you otherwise most are lying. Coming from a guy, and being behind the scenes and the things that are talked about is nuts. Guys want to fool around with most things with two legs. I wish this wasn't the case because I think it's unfair to women.

There are a lot of polls small school studies asking these questions. One video in particular I watched a little over a year ago asked 5 paired friends one question to the male and female friend counterpart. Would you sleep with and are you attracted to your female /male friend. All the female responses were no never. All the men were yes if Given the chance regardless of the females relationship status.
Sorry if that doesn't help much. I agree with the above poster that def tell your boyfriend about it and see what he thinks. I wouldn't want my wife or girlfriend being buddies with a guy at work who I knew flirts with her and doesn't care you have a boyfriend or husband, it's insulting and says a lot about that person. Do you want that kind of person around you with that character?

Thank you. I just wish it was possible for he and I to be friends and that be ok. I'd like to be able to hang out with him but I'm afraid of what will happen.

Are you attracted to this person? Why the "need" to be friends with this particular person?

I don't have friends so I was hoping for some new friends. Plus we work at the same place and he's in my class at school, which he's new to. I want a fresh start with people. I lost a lot of friends and there were lots of rumors going around about me. I go to a small school so I'm stuck with all of these people until I graduate (which is in less than a year). It'd just be nice to have a friend.

You can't find a female friend? Again, are you attracted to this person?

I have one but like I said, the rumors and stuff destroyed almost all of my friendships. Not really.

Not really isn't convincing. If there is any amount of attraction physically I would stay away. You already feel a connection in some forms its this person enough to be friends. You want to chance the possibility of it turning romantic, because it's Huge chance it will because we know how he feels.

I think that his little crush on my will pass though because he doesn't know me all that well. I have no intention of dating him and I'm so happy in my current relationship.

You're not a bad girlfriend. Like Odee said, just make sure he knows you have a boyfriend and you're not looking for a relationship. Also, let your boyfriend know so that he doesn't find out the wrong way and misinterpret anything.

I think they should ask in those studies, how long will the guy wait to sleep with her before he stops talking to her as a friend? Because if the answer is "forever", then what's the difference really between never and forever? They are both infinity points that are never reached. So the guy saying yes is meaningless. It's a logical "and" condition - both parties have to agree. I have had a lot of male friends where nobody ever pushed the subject.

But it's still there and wouldn't be real friends if not for attraction. They have a sense of "possibility". You would be OK knowing your husband or wife's best friend wants to sleep with them and hang out? It's not ok for me. But that's just me and my opinion, just opinion.

I don't want a relationship with him. It makes me uncomfortable knowing he likes me and that's why I hope it passes. Should I just wait it out and hope that his feelings subside or is there another way I can at least safely attempt to have a friendship with him? I don't feel like I should have to throw away a possible friendship because of it.

Work in progress 16 Welcome!!!!!!!!

I guess I'm looking at it more, not that they WANT to sleep with them; just that they wouldn't say no. Like it's on a scale of 1 to 10 - you and I are putting it at opposite ends of possibility. If I talk to someone, the chance is 1 we would sleep together. If your husband talks to someone, it feels like the chance is 10 that he would sleep with her? That just hasn't been my experience. I haven't really wanted the men I talked to, like at work. They were pretty annoying! So no chance. But talking - yeah, that's okay. But ive usually been the single woman. So I get your point.

Eta: sorry, kinda hijacking there. Wip16, you told him you had a bf, so what happens is up to you. Ive had single friends and coupled friends, so I personally dont see the problem.

I don't know if this was directed towards me but I found this confusing.

Thank you darling

Easy to put this in perspective, really. If your bf had a female 'friend wannabe' who also admitted to having a crush on him, and he felt the exact same way YOU do about your 'friend wannabe'...how would that affect your relationship with your bf?

I wish he hadn't told me had a crush on me though because it does make me slightly uncomfortable

Im going to go out on a limb and say that your bf will be uncomfortable with it and say that he wouldnt be "OK" with a friendship.

If you feel slightly uncomfortable then that should be it. You will find friends again, new friends, maybe try to join sports? You can always find friends in sports, usually have good bonding and you will be surrounding by girls.

May I stress again that I go to a small school. I already know everybody and they've all heard a variety of rumors about me.

May i ask what the extend of the rumors would be? Are these true rumors? I assume its a negative, and if these "rumors" are of the sexual nature there is more of a reason to be wary of this boy your speaking with being friends with. Keep that in mind. If that is the case then you only have one thing you need to do firstly. You need to discuss this with your boyfriend. If he finds in very troubling and not "ok" then you may already have your answer.