[dsh74]

I seem to be a social misfit. I can go places when I have a reason to, but not really unless I do.
Anyway, people don't seem to listen to me. Even with my family, there's times I feel less than, you know.

They sometimes don't take me seriously.
And I don't think I was prepared well enough by my parents to live in this world. And I'm 50 now. No one ever taught me how to get gas. I do when have to, but feel so unsure of myself.

I've only worked jobs where a family member worked. I have no confidence. Other physical problems maybe even if I had a job. I do drive with my husband transporting vehicles, but he leads and I follow.

My son and daughter live here with us now, they'll listen sometimes, but can't seem to hear me even though she says she has good hearing.
I feel unsure around her, she's demonstrative and out there, I'm not. Don't want to offend, but she almost takes over things in my home.

When husband's home, before son and daughter-in-law here, we'd always end up arguing, stupid stuff. So many times over the years, I haven't felt like others take me seriously.

Have gotten down on myself, and wondered what's the use in it all, living and everything.
Just don't seem to fit and it hurts and I need friends and fun, and I'm sick of where I am in life right now. Have been more so during my monthly time. But still it's more than that.
Can't seem to feel sure of me and my actions.

Maybe this should be in the self esteem section, probably. Anyway, maybe someone can identify here also.

[Perna]

Oh, wow, I identified a lot with what you said, dsh, but I'm 56. The gas comment really got me.

There's good news, you can learn all these things if you want. Get a good therapist to talk to while you experiment and figure out what you want to "be" when you grow up :-) It's not easy, never is, but just doing a lot of things (no one "learns" a lot of things nor are they born knowing, they just do them enough and then it's not so scary) will help with some. Some negative/scared feelings are fine if you try things. I still don't like getting gas particularly but can do so without problem. The little bit of fear is just "there," so what? As long as I get the gas, what does it matter that there is a bit of unpleasantness?

Biggest thing that helped me besides therapy was keeping journals to help me figure out what I wanted, who I wanted to be, what I liked, etc. Look at some of the things you don't like in your life as a "problem" to be solved then brainstorm with your good intelligence. Make up "experiments." How many times buying gas does it take to get comfortable buying gas? Do you prefer one station over others? Why or why not? I always prefer stations where I've gotten gas before (which makes going on long trips interesting :-) but even with local stations, there are some I like better than others (side of the street, size, etc.). Find your own preferences so you get to know yourself better. No preferences are bad or wrong! And you don't need a reason for a preference. Maybe go around stating your preferences to people. "I prefer ______." Think about types of restaurants, food, etc.