Am I too Sensative?

Right, so I cant be partial on this one for myself. So I am asking you guys.

I have been told over and over by my husband that I am too sensitive. By this I mean, over react to a 'normal' situation or happening. In that note I feel he doesn't react or have emotion at all.

Example
Last night I wanted to go out to a pub to have a cocktail as I had received a voucher and wanted to be out and have a drink. Esp caz it was free

I asked my husband if I could go, if he minded and he said he would go with. Havning not left his couch for the whole week, this was a surprise and an upset. We have not been getting along and didn't really want to be around him at all. When we got there a manger we had have issues with before seated us and immediately gave me hassels about my voucher. My husband got angry, thew his stuff down and left. I had the car keys, so he was walking. I originally thought he was going to come back but he didn't so when I went tot go find him, he was coming back to get his smokes and was fuming angry. He yelled at me to stay. After all the stress and misery I was not going to stay in a crowded pub by myself and be upset. So I went to the car. I was overwhelmed by emotions and held back a good cry. I drove off to find him and when he decided to get into the car we drove off in silence and he said 2 things. 1 about the manger and 2 about where to stop the car.

When I got home I was not keeping it together and changed and took my make up off and spent the next 1 or so crying. I felt so sad, angry, overwhelmed and that life and being with him was such a waste! My life if passing me by and he is not letting me be in it. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Not in front of him, because he would yell at me for being 'distressed ' again. He does not tolerate crying or me being upset. Just yells and walks away and ignore's me.

This is an example of what happens and how I feel. This sort of thing happens a lot.

What say you?

I don't think you are too sensitive. I think your reactions are fairly normal considering the circumstances.

If he is getting angry with you over small things it can be a sign of abuse...

Yoda has posted a wheel that shows signs of physical and emotional abuse. I will get it in the morning. (If they don't post it themselves)

Hi Toiger
there is not legal amount of sensitiveness. Everyone is different and everyone had a right to be the way he/she is.

So the question of you are too sensitive or not had no reasons to be.

When your husband says so to you he really means " you are wrong and am I right". He is trying to make you feel wrong for what you are.

The question I would like to ask you is: how are things with your husband? do you think your marriage is in good health?
Because maybe that's the thing you should take care of. At least that's what I can guess from your post

Hi darling. Oh NO NO NO, by far you are most certainly NOT over~reacting at all. I actually would have reacted much more than you did, but then my ''disorder'' may have dictated some of that. How else were you supposed to react????? Were you supposed to simply shrug it all off???? No hunny, you acted as I'm sure many folk would have done, with or without existing ''issues''. I won't say just put it behind you as I know I wouldn't have been able to either. Guess there are either long standing probs or things that need addressing. Do you have anybody you can share these issues with, either a ''professional'' or a friend? HUGS. XXXXXXXX

I agree with waggiedaog, maybe also you two could get counseling?

Thank you. I breathed a sigh of relief when I read this. So it is not me.

Yes I feel we are not in good health and yes I try to talk about it all the time and I have tried to get couples counseling and he had given me the 'hell no' on that one. And in saying that I am being polite.

I am trying to just shrug it off, but I feel really awful all the time . I fantasize about being single. Just to not be in a relationship but esp not with him. To be loved and free and not so hurt and down trodden and to trapped. I have been in bad places before but this feels so much worse and I don't know why. He will not talk or act in any positive way and I have begun to feel the same. I can not do this any more. I just want to be alone and cry with a drink. This is not ok and I know this. Some times I wish I was so strong I would get a job earning a lot of money over night and just leave and everything would be fine and other days I would wish I won the lotto and I could just leave and all would be ok.

So you cannot leave because of money. Is that so?

Yes, I can not leave because of Money. I am unemployed and am battling to find a job. My husband just resigned from his job and doesn't have another one yet either.

No nothing is wrong with you. You have emotions like the next person does and it's okay to express them. Why is he so uptight about you being yourself? In a relationship, especially a marriage, you should be able to talk to your spouse about any and everything. You two should try counseling or something. That way you can see why he's so distant and upset because it sounds like he a very angry man.

He is a very angry man and hell know why because he will not talk to me. I can only make educated guesses and well. My mind generally goes directly for the worst possible explanation.

Living with someone who is angry and often critical of you would make anyone sad. His behavior in the pub was inappropriate. Crying seems a normal response to that. I am sorry your husband does not appreciate you.

You have every right to be upset. Next time stand up on yourself. Tell your husband that you are going out, alone. That he is not wanted.

I don't know about too sensitive but I think I would want to feel better so I was not crying all the time?

If the manager in the pub was hassling you, I would not have wanted to be there either, would have gotten angry though and walked out with my husband, asked to be taken to another pub? It's not worth the "free" coupon that they aren't honoring to be upset about the whole evening?

If you concentrate on the situation instead of yourself and what you want/do not want, that might help a little? You had a coupon and wanted to go out for a drink; your husband said he'd come and that was an unpleasant surprise because you were not getting along and you wanted to go out on your own. Not resolving that first issue with yourself might not have been a good idea?

It sounds to me like your evening ended up being one thing on top of another that went "wrong" because each one was not addressed when it came up. I don't think you can have a bunch of things going wrong and end up with a good overall experience?

Do you have any girl friends? I would do something like make a girls' night out to help relieve some stress of being with your husband. Maybe you could join a networking group of people looking for jobs or a women's group?

Yes I want to feel better. Nobody wants to be so over emotional as to cry all the time, that a bit ridiculous. I certainly don't. re the post.

It is not the first time the manager has not had the skills for his job and certainly not the first time my husband had not walked out or gotten upset by somebody not 'licking his arse' so make life exactly as he intended it to be.

Yes , I should have been ok to tell him, I wanted to be out alone and Yes I should have been ok with talking out each issue one at a time. But there seems to be so many and he seems to make it out like this is MY problem and that he should not be involved. He doesnt want to talk to me or help me or interact with me on any level. So yes, I had a right to be upset when he wanted to come with me and yes i should have said something. But it is obvious that you have never been in a situation where being quiet was the best thing. How old are you?

No I dont have a set of girlfriends. Otherwise this would prob not be an issue. Like I said this happens all the time. Yes I would that group of firends that CAN help me. But I dont.