[kala83]

so me and my mom are supposed to go in and talk with my therapist who has knows that we have had issues with each other. For as long as I can remember,

nearly every single therapist I have gone to knows of my issues with my family and are CONSTANT arguing.

it literally feels like every day when my mom comes home she tries to seek out something to argue with me about.

I am already going to my therapist now, going to psychiatrist, and doing DBT...as well as I try to work on personal psych work books to help with my various mental disorders on a daily basis also.

NOWW I am considering that maybe me and my mother should try doing family therapy. I had a very rough history with my father being very verbally and emtionally abusive to me, as well as even being minorly physically abusive to me as well.

some days I feel like me and my mother are starting to go down the same path. I don't hardly speak to my father any more, and I outwardly will say that I dis like even nearly hate him and his action of what he did to me in the past.

I don't want my relationship between me and my mom to be similiar. I know all parent and kids don't get along but this just seems like such unnecessary, that it goes on this much between the two of us.

what's worse is we live in the same house so escaping this is not easy.

a lot of it has to do with that there is dis trust between the two of us. On different accounts for things, I don't feel like no matter what I do I will ever live up to her expectations, and any time I do something wrong. It gets far more attention then when I do something right.

like today the dumb argument we got into was over my food stamps. I had an interview over the phone with a case worker to discuss my food stamp case. I suppose you have to do it once a year I have not had them for more then a year.
I was out the day that they called helping friends and job hunting, so I had to call them back to reschedule which I tried to do but all I was left with was getting a hold of a case workers voice mail and being told to leave a message there that would be returned to me. So far no one has.

and I had to til today to reschedule other wise my benefits would be withdrawn.

I don't know if that really is or is not the case. But my mother instantly jumped on my case about not rescheduling Knowing that I had done all I could to try to remedy the situation I even called the office today but never got a hold of anyone.

I don't think her anger at me is warranted because I have done all that i could I can't make the case worker call me back and they told me on the phone the case worker would have to be the one themselves that set up the re do interview.

in that situation aren't I kind of limited on what all I can do?

I want these issues in our communication to be gone. I hope that talking to my therapist and looking into the idea of doing family therapy might help. I hope it will.

[healingme4me]

Sounds like you are trying to do, the responsible thing. Keep your eye out, in the mail, sometimes the case workers, do return phone calls and sometimes, they send out paperwork. If you are leaving the appropriate information, you are, indeed, doing the best you can. Life does happen, and schedules change, hence, rescheduling.

Hope that family counseling helps. I'd imagine, you've discussed with your therapist, some of your concerns and you are trying to be adult with your mom about expressing your concerns and needs.

Hang in there

[kala83]

I have disscussed it many times and actually shortly after I posted this I talked with my therapist over the phone and told him what was going on. We went over a lot, and came up with some good ideas for if it happens again.

a lot of the issues come from I don't have a job right now I am not finical ly responsible for myself and my dependent personality disorder is thrown in the face of my family all the time. I want to take care of myself but it feels almost in grained into me that its hard for me to do.

and it get thrown back at me as threats when my family is up set saying if you don't stop what you are doing I will take this away from you and you don't have any money of your own so I can, and where would you be if I did.

but I did come back and apologize to her saying I should have phrased things differently and that I am going to use some distraction techniques for the rest of the night to give us some much needed space.
I don't expect things to be perfect between us this is just not realistic but things simply have to get better. If they get worse I might end up with out a home at all.

[anneo59]

Sometimes it helps to just catch your breath a minute and think of one thing you can do an easy fix for. Maybe it's doing the evening dishes. Or just being quiet during a certain time of day when someone else is tired. Or filling up the car. Don't know, depends on your situation. We have one of our grown sons living with here, he has some MI probs, and so do i, and even hub, and we are trying to make it. We seem to do betterwhen we calm down and do something helpful or at least not something harmful. Avoiding drama. And then if we ever get a good laugh together, that's "priceless"! I wish you well!

[kala83]

the therapy session seemed to go fairly well. And I am hoping that I can start work on my issues as well as family issues in the future now.