expressing yourself

does anyone have any idea on how you can express yourself emotionally. I am not sure how to uncover what has happened in the past. It is all just sitting in the back of my head. I know its there and then I get depressed which then interferes with my everyday life. I am not sure how to bring it out I think I might be the one holding back I have difficulty expressing any feelings I have and don't know what to do? there is a lot i have to deal with i know that I just don't know how to start openning up anyone have any ideas?

hi arod, and welcome to PC

that's a really good question!

you know it's there you said. do you know what's preventing the thoughts/communication from coming out?

is there an internal dialogue that says "it's not important" or something like that? in other words, is there a fear there that others will judge those thoughts if they come out? that can happen lots with depression.

there were a few times in my life, though, when severely depressed that it felt almost as though i couldn't talk. there were literally no words. all my thoughts were absorbed in, and by, the depression. is that more the case or is it that you're concerned what will be thought when the spoken words come out?

with the anxiety and concern of the words coming out, it took trial and error by me. i was comfortable with a few people and starting saying more that was "in here" and it was ok. i went further from there.

when it was severe depression and i literally had no words, i had to wait for relief and it came back around on its own.

regardless of what the "cause" is, just know that there are those here that understand. you can "talk" to us...

KD

My therapist had to teach me to identify my feelings before I could figure out how to get them out. Before that they were random thoughts and feelings with no identifiable "hook" to hang them on was my problem. Going home one day she told me to "think about humiliation" for the week and, naturally, I was humiliated that week and that brought up anger and a bunch of stuff fell into place. The week after that she told me to think about "disappointment" and, right away, my husband disappointed me and that taught me a lot. Grab a feeling, any feeling and work on it for awhile and it will "show up" and things in your head will be attracted to it like a magnet and all the iron filings will line up in a row :-)

Having specific incidents line up with specific feelings helped me with the expression. I didn't have enough "words" at first to get stuff out.

Hi, Arod13,
The responses are excellent here. I have had some concrete experiences in expressing my feelings, revealing my past trauma, in the very real area of trying to form romantic relationships., Now, looking back, I think I would have done things differently. One would THINK, that if the potential partner were truly sincere and had loving intentions. it would be okay. It was not, at least in my case. In the future, I will not share so openly about my past, which has been truly painful, at least not until I am totally convinced of the partner's commitment and sincerity.
I don't know if this the circumstance in which you find yourself. Maybe you are speaking of more generalized relationships. I have good friends, all female, to whom I can confide my deepest concerns and relate my feelings. In the case with romantic relationships, it seemed to establish some kind of stigma that eventually led to the failure or each.
Healing thoughts,
Patty

I do many things -

Write - journaling and poetry (tip normal everyday notebooks with paper in them are just as good as book bound expensive journal and cheeper)

Art work - painting, drawing

Crafts - diaramas, scale models, clays, playdoughs

Music

just to name a few.

I don't know! I have the same problem but art and jornal helps me somewhat!

ok so those are all great have done all of them can't seem to express myself to others which intern i do not deal with them what you have mentioned though does work to sooth me but doesn't change anything

When I have a problem for example telling my therapist things I write it out then either tell her or I give her what I wrote. I do the same thing with my friends if I come across something I don't know how to word it I write and then tell them what I wrote or show them my poem about the issue. Ive done that too when I was working or vollunteering, speaking in front of classes and so on. Even people on tv have a written way to remember what they want and are supposed to say (telaprompters). many people write down things so that they don't forget to discuss whatever it is so it is not abnormal at all to write what you want to say and then say it or let the person see what you wrote. Since writing and so on does "sooth" you maybe it will also help you to start communicating with other people too. hang in there

Conversation. Only words can help. Who do you want to express yourself to? If your T, just tell him/her what you've told us or tell about what the thoughts feel like sitting in the back of your head; their size, shape, color, weight, flickers of images, things they remind you of, anything at all. Everything in our head has to be put in the shape of "words" to be communicated/expressed. That's all we have with each other. Yes we can do art, dance, etc. but that's only for us; other people can't read our minds and what we're expressing, what they see is different than what we see.

If I were stuck, I'd work on remembering my dreams and working with them, associating them with made-up images until a real one stood up and identified itself.

KD
you hit it on the nose pretty much thinking that my thoughts or problems isn't as imortant as the next it is hard all the way around to communicate how i feel though and it must be the judgements i also have a very low trust level for people if someone knows what my problem is i pretend like its not a problem anymore instead of confiding in that person i pretend im all better

(((((((( arod ))))))))

I don't have any new advice, I also used writing to help me trough... one sentence a day is how it started. I was ashamed of my emotions, I still can't cry. I hope you can find a way that works for you. I just wanted to give you a hug if that's ok...

(((( tanya ))))

thanks tanya it does!