[Lonely_90]

I have been in a relationship with him for 8 months, I should have known from the beginning that something was a bit off, but me being who I am, when someone ignores me or is "mean" to me that makes me just want them more.

We went to high school with each other, but only hung out a few times, ( I know now that he liked me and I liked him), It wasnt until our best friends started to see each other that we met again, sparks flew and we started hanging out, as a group. Then one day we started hanging out just the two of us. The first night we just talked and talked, I knew I still had a "crush" on him.

Since that day we have been "together" non-stop, but our relationship has been a rollarcoaster. Hes so sweet, telling me how pretty I am, and how much he loves me, then 5 min later I did something "wrong" and he cant do it anymore.

when he gets mad, it instantly is my fault, no matter if I did nothing at all, if a dog bit him it would be because I was walking to fast or some made up reason. He calls me names, and is really mean. But I still love him. After he calms down he dose appologise, but he dose not realize how much words do hurt. I have told him he needs help, but I feel he is reluctant.

Is it me?? am I too senestive, is this normal?? im so confused about what to do

[Trippin2.0]

Can I fix him?

N.O, and its unfair that you even want to try. You did say you like guys who are mean to you, so I don't actually see the problem here, unless you've changed your mind about preferring to be ill treated...

We choose our partners because we love and like them as is. Not because we see potential for what could be and try and mould them accordingly.

That being said, if there are certain issues in our relationships that need addressing, yes we communicate our needs and work together on a compromise. But the objective should never be to fix or change someone into our ideal partner.

Instead go and search for him / her.

Is it you? Idk, I'd have a problem with being called names, being disrespected and being blamed for everything that goes wrong. Means my bf firstly does NOT respect me, and also either refuses to accept accountability / responsibility or lives in Lalaland. Either way I cannot build a future with such a person or even tolerate such behavior because he and I will be on 2 very different chapters nevermind pages.

Communication is key. If he's not willing to respect you, and meet you half way, well then you know what to do.

[healingme4me]

Nope, not healthy. (you asked if normal, can't really say, lots of people have roller coaster relationships.)

Leaves you confused. Almost like walking on eggshells, would you agree?

[gayleggg]

You can't fix him. He is who he is and he has to want to change, Maybe you could get him to go to couples counseling with you. That would be a good start. Otherwise you either put up with verbal abuse or you leave.

[~Christina]

I think you need some therapy to help you understand why you want people that treat you poorly.. You really deserve better whether you believe it or not.

[TombE]

Never try to fix anyone. You will never accomplish this. This relationship sounds unhealthy. You need to talk about the issues on both ends and work for a compromise. If neither of you can keep up your end of the compromise (i.e. working on communication, or anger) then I would definitely reconsider the relationship in general.

[wisedude]

You probably can not make this person change to any major degree.

Do you have low self esteem?

It sounds like your partner cannot accept responsibility for things or is overly critical or something. A partner should be consistently supportive, not excessively critical.

I don't know, but if this is happening all the time, he may some sort of disorder (personality or other mental disorder).

If your partner is overall treating you in a significantly inappropriate way, then a normal person would not accept that.