[Stressedsad&confuse]

My husband and I have been together for two years married for five months. During the time we have been married he has become violently abusive. He name calls, yells, and even on occasion hits me. When things are going good they are great and I couldn't be happier. But when he gets in his moods he is aggressive and hurtful. When he's like this the things he says makes me feel like I'm nothing. Like I have no purpose in life. And even on occasion makes me feel like I want to kill myself, but I'm too much of a coward because I don't want to die. But my reason for not wanting to die is because of the chance that he will change and ill be happier. I love my husband and I don't want to leave him even though I always told myself if I ever became apart of a relationship like this I would leave without hesitation. I can't go to counseling because my husband is in the military and I am afraid to get him in trouble, for fear that he will get mad at me and leave me, or worse end up in jail. Not all the time things are bad but lately it seems more often than not they are. I just need someone to talk to and some guidance. I suffer from mild bipolar depression and have some child hood issues that sometimes don't help our situations...

[kindachaotic]

So sorry you're living this way.
It is abuse, plain & simple!
Can you go for counseling in the private sector?
Could you go for counseling without him knowing about it?
Is there some place you can go, quickly, if in fear physically?
Walking on eggshells all the time isn't any part of a healthy marriage.
You deserve so much better in a mate & life in general.
Please take care & stay safe.

[healingme4me]

http://www.militaryonesource.mil/abu...tent_id=266708

Domestic Violence in the Military

Victims often hesitate to report abuse because they fear the impact it will have on their spouse's career. A recent DOD study found that service members reported for abuse are 23 percent more likely to be separated from the service than nonabusers and somewhat more likely to have other than honorable discharges. The majority who remain in the military are more likely to be promoted more slowly than nonabusers.

Many military spouses don't know that federal law gives financial protection to the spouse if the member is discharged for an offense which "involves abuse of the then-current spouse or a dependent child." It doesn't matter if the discharge is a punitive discharge imposed by a court-martial, or an administrative discharge initiated by the commander. The key is that the reason for the discharge must be for a "dependent abuse" offense.

The term "involves abuse of the then-current spouse or a dependent child" means that the criminal offense is against the person of that spouse

[Lonely_90]

I can tell you that I too told my self if a man ever belittled me I would leave, it's hard when you love someone. Has he been overseas recently , I know a lot of military suffer from PSTD, either way his behavior is unacceptable. I would try to get private council, see what they say... But he needs to see someone... Good luck

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[BonnieG2010]

You are not happy. You are in a roller coaster of elation and pain.
Happiness is different, you know.
Happiness is a quiet feeling of caring for each other, doing the best you can for your partner and viceversa.

I'm afraid you husband is taking advantage of your depression and your problems to keep you in a dependent state.

He planted very well in your head HIS problems, HIS risks, HIS needs and requests.
And you are taking care of them, not going for help.

But who's taking care of YOUR needs?
What kind of couple is that if the 2 of you care only for one person in the couple and completely neglect the other?

This is not a fair deal, this is a trick.
You should get out of that house.
Please make contact with some supporting group on domestic violence.

If you still think that you can stand it, let me ask you something: what would a do if your daughter would come home and tell you exactly that her husband is treating her like your husband is treating you. Would you really say to her to stay there or to leave right away?

Take good care of yourself. You are the only one who can do it, cause your husband is not taking care of you.