[Petra5ed]

I'm trying to seduce my husband because he seems tired of me (for the past 5 years). Who has tips? We get along really well for the most part, rarely fight, both work out, 30 something DINKS. I feel like we are disconnected though, we barely talk about anything real anymore, he just obsessively plays games most of time we're home together. We barely have any intimacy at all, in my opinion, of course I guess a decade together will make any person less mysterious and exciting. I'm no super model, but my BMI is in the normal range, and guys hit on me so I cant be too bad looking. I've tried dressing sexier, changing my make-up/hair, changing things up in bed. I swear I'm not a ***** either. I've hit the point now where I'm just tempted to cheat, although I never will, the temptation of that is like another torture. How do I open up a line of communication? Is his asexuality (he's definitely not gay) or maybe just lack of interest in me a new permanent feature? He's a really great guy. I'd put the odds that he's cheating on me at .0001%.

[timj]

Your husband sounds like the way I used to be. Gaming obsessed and distant. Get him out of the house, go to a movie or a bar for a drink, you drive, drive him to a secluded parking lot and have sex with him in the car. Show him there is something fun out there to do that is a little dangerous and exciting and that he can do it with you. Changing location can be fun. By tickets to a show and surprise him by taking him to a nearby hotel.

There are times I wished my gaming account was destroyed. It might have brought be back to the real world sooner and prevented the heartache that in part resulted from it in my marriage and my life.

[Poppy Princess]

You could come in one day, dressed in black lingerie, and just try to seduce him then and there?

[kimmiemom]

"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Read it, find out what his language is and start speaking it... You could walk in front of him all night with a black nightie on, if that's not his language, it's not going to bring you closer. Try it. It's a short, easy read or you can get it from the library on cd.

[Odee]

Is there something super special he would like? It doesn't matter what sort of mood my BF is in, if I kiss or lick his crotch he's going to get turned on. He doesn't care about the atmosphere or what I'm wearing. It's pretty strait forward for us.

My BF experiences receiving oral as extremely intimate. I know that we often think that a man getting head isn't loving anything except what he's getting out of you, but I think he sincerely feels love for and connection to me.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by kimmiemom

"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Read it, find out what his language is and start speaking it... You could walk in front of him all night with a black nightie on, if that's not his language, it's not going to bring you closer. Try it. It's a short, easy read or you can get it from the library on cd.

I agree, on this book. I own it. Was a gift, unused. Each of us, is wired a certain way. Talks about Love Tanks, Love Languages, such as touch is some peoples primary, while act of service are another's.

Bringing intimacy back to a relationship, is more than just what happens, in the bedroom.

The fleeting thought, about cheating, speaks to your vulnerability and sense that you are missing on some needs within the relationship. Find out those needs, discover what's missing from him, and together, bring that spark back.

[oldlife_disrupted]

Are you sure the problem isn't medical? Depression, low T levels, in a funk. etc.?

The problem isn't necessarily you.

[Petra5ed]

Originally Posted by kimmiemom

"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Read it, find out what his language is and start speaking it... You could walk in front of him all night with a black nightie on, if that's not his language, it's not going to bring you closer. Try it. It's a short, easy read or you can get it from the library on cd.

Thanks I will definitely give this a look.

Also to the poster that asked if it could be medical, yes that's possible. However, not considering the sex at all, we still barely connect and talk so I think it's something deeper.

Also to the poster that spoke of the wonders of BJ's, haha, thanks. I googled up gay guys BJ tips.

[ADDithers]

How do you open up a line of communication? I'd start with the suggestion that he turn the game off just long enough to have a time to talk. Then with his attention, be candid. Just say that you have concerns that you feel there is not enough 'touch' - not necessarily sex but touch. Then hopefully the two of you can get on board with some good relaxing touch - massage. Then make him feel good. You want to touch him, do it, and turn him on. And yes, oral is an awesome way to.... touch. Hopefully he'll reciprocate. If he doesn't respond to that... then, I don't want to say you have a real problem, but you have more to deal with that may be more challenging to answer.

Dominate him. Train him to learn certain postures to be in, and then run him through his paces.

https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&r...56146854,d.dGI

If he is able to learn these postures, give him a 'reward'. Something which satisfies you more than him. Then maybe at the end of the month give him a release. Once a month should do it. You should also keep him in chastity during this time. Probably 2 weeks into the posture training.

[~Christina]

Have you asked him what is going on ? Maybe he feels the way your feeling also???

You won't really understand what is going on until you ask... IMO a black nitey might work for a night but your still most likely left with a problem.

My advice is have a conversation with him .

Good luck