Ok so a couple of you know the latest about my little "romantic" story that I'm having with my gamer girl as I've pm'd you about it. you all know just exactly why I am feeling almost entirely positive about it. So please sit down as I tell you the truth... I still doubt myself. >.<

So yeah... I was thinking as I headed to my car on my way to lunch. "ok so where are these doubts coming from?" Inside. Inside of me, I know that I lack something that should be self-sustaining and something that makes me self-sufficient or at least as a normal person would be. I live for the compliments and the flirting and the regular interactions with her but when she is absent, when I am away, myself, some of the optimism fades.

So this morning, I sent her a heart felt message. I said tht she makes my day better, that because of her I think maybe I'm not such a bad guy after all and she give me confidence in myself. She does that.

Of course the way life goes we always get a wrench thrown in and she replied with "thats what friends do." AAAAHHHHHHHHHH noooooooooo. Did she mean to push back? Was I getting too mushy? scared now.

[vans1974]

I hated when the "friend" word was used!! I found when I was dating, girls loved the chase! When I played hard to get they wanted me, but yet when I became too close or mushy, they backed away! I hated the dating mind games! Hope that helps at bit, and best of luck!

[Wham6429]

I think everyone loves the challenge... it's the best feeling when you finally win them over. Coming from a girls pov I feel the same way about guys. If you chase them they think you're needy if you stop they come around... turn the tables on her (trust me I know its hard...) don't text for a day or two, she'll come around. And as far as the "friend" stuff goes, if she's like me, having a friendship is just as important as the relationship. Or she maybe playing hard to get, which can be corrected with turning the tables on her. ;-) Good luck! :-)

[unaluna]

I dont think saying friends, necessarily puts you in the friendzone. Its more like opposite of strangers. Which is what married people often end up as. CWIM?

Originally Posted by hankster

I dont think saying friends, necessarily puts you in the friendzone. Its more like opposite of strangers. Which is what married people often end up as. CWIM?

yes I do. and thanks. I hope you're right.

Originally Posted by Wham6429

I think everyone loves the challenge... it's the best feeling when you finally win them over. Coming from a girls pov I feel the same way about guys. If you chase them they think you're needy if you stop they come around... turn the tables on her (trust me I know its hard...) don't text for a day or two, she'll come around. And as far as the "friend" stuff goes, if she's like me, having a friendship is just as important as the relationship. Or she maybe playing hard to get, which can be corrected with turning the tables on her. ;-) Good luck! :-)

Thanks, very interesting perspective I hadn't thought of. Being away from her on purpose, is difficult, if only because I feel like I'm doing something bad. Probably because I know how I feel in her absence. But logically I think it might not be a bad idea.

I'll start small. maybe stay away at least 1 hour hahahahahahaha yeah I kid..

[arachnophobia.kid]

The best romantic relationships often start out as the best friendships.

[hannabee]

Ok, so are you not friends? If not, then the relationship is not going in the right direction. Friends first is probably imperative to a relationship. I think you probably just caught her off guard. She may even be kicking herself for saying that! Let it go and I certainly would not play the game of staying away. It may just backfire on you.

Originally Posted by hannabee

Ok, so are you not friends? If not, then the relationship is not going in the right direction. Friends first is probably imperative to a relationship. I think you probably just caught her off guard. She may even be kicking herself for saying that! Let it go and I certainly would not play the game of staying away. It may just backfire on you.

yes we've been friends for awhile now.

and to update.. she just said to me "...I would love to go out with you if you weren't so far" or something to that effect so... I think I will shut my stupid paranoid, insecure, mouth. :#

[hannabee]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

yes we've been friends for awhile now.

and to update.. she just said to me "...I would love to go out with you if you weren't so far" or something to that effect so... I think I will shut my stupid paranoid, insecure, mouth. :#

UMMM that might be wise

I would just say, if you can figure out how to be friends with the opposite sex and you converse on a regular basis, I think you're at least halfway there.

Originally Posted by hannabee

UMMM that might be wise

hahahahahaha I'm usually not that wise, just a wise *****. but yes I agree. i'm still floating soo don't mind my silliness.

[RomanSunburn]

So, she cleared everything up for us, but I just wanted to comment... What did you want her to say? Think of it this way... You kind of put her on the spot... Does she just lay it all out there? Or does she play it conservative to make sure she's not misreading you? All in all, it's moot now. So... Congrats and start planning your trip!

Originally Posted by RomanSunburn

So, she cleared everything up for us, but I just wanted to comment... What did you want her to say? Think of it this way... You kind of put her on the spot... Does she just lay it all out there? Or does she play it conservative to make sure she's not misreading you? All in all, it's moot now. So... Congrats and start planning your trip!

Thanks. I think I made it obvious that I was already very attracted to her so I'm not sure if she questioned if she was misreading me

but yeah I guess she did just threw it out there huh? XD

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

yes we've been friends for awhile now.

and to update.. she just said to me "...I would love to go out with you if you weren't so far" or something to that effect so... I think I will shut my stupid paranoid, insecure, mouth. :#

She slipped the L word, in there. If you weren't asking yourself, these questions, I'd have more reason for concern. You aren't entering into these feelings, it seems, without much thought. Maybe, she's guarding her feelings, due to distance. It wasn't the response you wanted, but, it's not a hopeless, response, either. Could be her, life perspective. Who knows?

I'm sure, you are aware, like we all must be aware, at this point in life, of the 'fantasy effect', and until that initial meeting occurs, a little guardedness with emotions, is a good thing. Here, on PC, those of us, reading your posts and those reading your PM's, are hearing about your emotions, but it's better us, than her(as in too much, too soon type of sharing, kwim?)

I think, it's a positive, that you shared, how you felt, with her. Good for you, or as they say in the UK, good on you. (many hours spent on UK mummies boards, when the boys were a little younger, I was invited, by a mum on an American board )

Originally Posted by healingme4me

She slipped the L word, in there. If you weren't asking yourself, these questions, I'd have more reason for concern. You aren't entering into these feelings, it seems, without much thought. Maybe, she's guarding her feelings, due to distance. It wasn't the response you wanted, but, it's not a hopeless, response, either. Could be her, life perspective. Who knows?

Actually it's quite the opposite. wasn't the response I expected, no but it wasn't in any way disappointing. Actually the fact she mentioned going out with me at all was 100% positive. We both know it's a long distance thing right now so no unrealistic expectations. Thing is, we definitely are fond of one another and we both know that the other is. It's mutual now.. of course I'm writing this after more things have been said back and forth.

I'm sure, you are aware, like we all must be aware, at this point in life, of the 'fantasy effect', and until that initial meeting occurs, a little guardedness with emotions, is a good thing. Here, on PC, those of us, reading your posts and those reading your PM's, are hearing about your emotions, but it's better us, than her(as in too much, too soon type of sharing, kwim?)

I think that the fact that we are far right now for me, is a good thing. communication is of utmost importance and right now that's all we've got. Nothing to get in the way of really getting to know her right now, if you get what i mean.. as in RL dating = a lot of distraction IMO.

I think, it's a positive, that you shared, how you felt, with her. Good for you, or as they say in the UK, good on you. (many hours spent on UK mummies boards, when the boys were a little younger, I was invited, by a mum on an American board )

Thank you. I always like to hear your thoughts