step family

I have been w/ this wonderful man for 5 yrs. We both got divorced from our cheating spouses, and we both have 2 kids ea. The kids are w/ us the majority of the time. They go to their other parents every other wk end. We have been living together now for about 6 mo. I thought it was going to make things great, it seems to have made things worse. My guy and I fight constantly. His kids, my kids, he's right I'm wrong, I'm right he's wrong (That's rare!) It is just a huge mess. The kids are jealous of each other. His are 9 (boy)and 11 (girl), mine are 5 (boy) and 7(girl). The girls bicker and are very snotty with each other, my daughter is really snotty. My kids are close to their dad and his kids are close to their mom. They have a very loving family life. My kids tend to suffer w/ their fathers unstable life and relationships but over all, he's a good daddy. The main prob is my guy and I. Sometimes I feel like it's me, sometimes I blame him. I feel like he is critisizing every little thing I do. Then he does it to my kids too. He has no errors, nor do his kids or if I point out an error he or his kids did, there is ALWAYS a reason for it. I could write forever about this subject...Is anyone in the same boat???

I just wanted to let you know I read your thread. Though I am not in the same position as you are I really feel for you. It is hard enough with just hubby and my own two kids. I can't imagine dealing with what you are dealing with. I know that when things get bad with my hubby and me we get help from a marriage counseler. It is good to be able to have someone outside the situation who can look at the big picture and who is not vested in either position.
Take care,
Zen<font color=green>

************
Fall down seven times, get up eight--Buddhist Qoute

Am I knave is not the moderen concept of living together to see if you can get along together?

Part B
I did not mean to send part A on yet mistake :>)
I thought that the idea to just live together before marriage was to see if you could get along together first.
You might have your answer.
We have Neighbors that are in about the same situation.
Same amount of kids etc. They went and got married for Christmas one year.
They been married for about 3 years and both still fight very ugly mean arguments.
She moves out at times. He had an affair since they got married. She has called the cops in over family fights ,she has gotten hurt.
They use all types of language , take it out on the kids with screaming and spankings.
I have seen the other spouse's child crying at times to go home to his own mother when fights come up involving kids.

They both drink heavy every night and use pain medication.
Untill they are both half drunk and drugged the neighbor hood struggles with the loud rude noise they make.
I do not know how they go on.Recently its been quiet because she's been home sick from surgery and he had a bad accident. So I am sure they are both taking tons of medication.
It is not peacefull.
It is not loving.
At my husband job they are a joke .
My husband stays out of it but the neighbor works at same place.
They think that he is sugar and he lives with vinegar.
But he is just as sour.
Our neighbor hood would be very pleasant with out them in it together.
I think she stays with him because they have a nice home and she works just as hard as he does to keep it nice.
Her younger kids live with them full time.
They have no other place to call home so she does not know were to go so she hangs on.
One morning after a fight and she must of went to her mothers with police assitance she came back to the house very early with her two small kids to find the house locked and her car locked she could not get into the house or use her car and knocked on my door very early and asked me to take her kids to school.
I said I could not do that and she asked me well what am I to do?
I can not get my keys or get into the house and I said use my phone and call a Lock smith.
She was in her house in 30 minutes.
I have really had enougth of her kind of friend ship she only used me when she needed some thing so we do not talk now.
M8G