[Marsuevess]

I know there dating sites but how realistic is it with all the creeps out there. What I mean is all my life i been told not to chat online cause there are bad people that will hurt me. I know there are bad people but there are also good people to. So is it realistic and safe to find a partner for life from online chatting via dating sites or meeting people in online games?

[hamster-bamster]

How old are you?

[Wren_]

hi, welcome to pc ... there seem to be a lot of dating sites out there; some with better reputations than others ... as far as meeting good or bad people you run the same risk in any relationship not just the ones online. I've known people who have better their spouses online where it has worked; and known those who have had bad experiences ... and the same with more traditional relationships formed offline

[manwithnofriends]

Nope. You'll end up in a fake site where they'll ask you for money. Even on the free sites - the one who shows interest in you says "this is not my personal favourite, please log on to [fake link] .com ".

[healingme4me]

As with any new relationship, you need to be cautious. Know what to look for, know your needs, wants, etc. Don't wander into these things, idealizing the other person(or idealizing the idea of having a relationship), but taking a good serious look, at how compatible you really are.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Marsuevess

... or meeting people in online games?

I know nothing about online dating, but I will say that there's nothing more annoying than someone hitting on me while I'm up to my armpits in orcs. But that's just me. I'm in that imaginary world fighting monsters because I don't want to be in the real world at that time.

[PeachCream22]

A friend of mine always ended up being in an online relationship. She changed bfs every month, i don't know if she ever got hurt or anything, but she seemed to do it all just for fun. All i'm saying is, having an online relationship may lead to false expectations, and being online is only a very partial part of the other person's personality...that's just what I think anyway.

It isn't that realistic, and talking only to each other online doesn't really MEAN actual communication sometimes...because people can hurt each other without knowing that they did something wrong, and it's harder to express actual emotions online, like sarcasm, things like that...things can be easily misunderstood and misinterpreted...that's all I'm saying.

Not discouraging you or anything, but that is just my opinion.. I believe anything can work as long as you put your mind and heart into it

My gf and I are in a long distance relationship for now. We have plans to be together some months from now. I say this only so you know I've dealt with this directly.

My advice is, yes, online relationships have their own set of challenges and for some it can be too much to bear, to be honest but.. I would not write them off at all. There are some benefits to them also. When online all you have is talk, and sharing online activities. Sometimes this is a good thing as you'll make a bond that if you were in each other's face all the time, the tension to be intimate (not talking solely about sex here but touching, cuddling etc) might get in the way of really good conversation sometimes. It's just a fact of life. Not saying RL dating is worse either. Just stating what I see is a good thing about online relationships. eventually you'll want to be together IRL but it's not a bad start if you do it right.

My advice if you go this route is above all else, take your time. Don't look for a partner, but friends, meet people online and get to know them. I have known my girlfriend for over 2 yrs now and we didn't get together romantically til last month. So yeah, going slow and let it happen if it's supposed to, it will.

Of course this isn't unique advice as I'd say the same thing to someone about RL dating too... dont' rush, don't look for too much, seek friendships first and the right one will come along!

For every horror story of creeps online there are horror stories of bad dates and creeps in real life. Just be smart about it.

[punkybrewster6k]

Well, my husband and I met on an online dating site and ended up living happily ever after.
I feel what worked in our favor is that we lived within a couple of hours of each other so we could get to know eachother face to face and date. Another factor was that we were both close to 40 and by that age we kind of had an idea of what we wanted and didnt want in a relationship. It was pretty straight forward. We lived close enough to each other but would never have found eachother if we were not online. Pretty cool, eh?

[Confusedinomicon]

I met my boyfriend online and we've been together for 6 years. I love and adore him but it was not easy and he moved 1000+ miles to be with me. There are challenges to online dating!

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by punkybrewster6k

Well, my husband and I met on an online dating site and ended up living happily ever after.
I feel what worked in our favor is that we lived within a couple of hours of each other so we could get to know eachother face to face and date. Another factor was that we were both close to 40 and by that age we kind of had an idea of what we wanted and didnt want in a relationship. It was pretty straight forward. We lived close enough to each other but would never have found eachother if we were not online. Pretty cool, eh?

I agree. If you move quickly from online communication to real life dating, it is possible to work. Over the past 12 years, I've known three couples that met on match.com and are married now. I think that's pretty good. I used it myself and met some good people.

That being said you need to exercise a lot of caution and be sure to stay safe. I am paranoid by nature so I never give out my personal info until I have met in real life. There are a lot of people who are fakes online, or not ready to meet real people, or who are scammers. People do pray on the naive and lonely so you need to have a thick skin to be successful. So don't give personal info, money or anything else. But it can work, there is potential, you just have to work at it I am in my 40's so I particularly think it is a great way to meet people in this day and age.

[manwithnofriends]

you mean "prey", right?

[Jan1212]

There are a lot of creeps looking for a fling, but there are a lot who are serious as well. I don't think meeting people online, on game, on a stoplight, work, this forum, youtube is any different. Yes it is very possible, people have been doing so for over a decade already. You just have to be careful and trust your judgment, meet at public places as with anhy relationship and dating

[elevatedsoul]

you can be hurt easily online... dont get your hopes up for someone not worth it...

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

you can be hurt easily online... dont get your hopes up for someone not worth it...

That's why I don't believe in carrying out actual "online relationships". Online dating websites are a great way to meet people. But the goal is to take that initial introduction offline and into real life ASAP. Otherwise, I agree that you can end up hurt, among other things.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

you can be hurt easily online... dont get your hopes up for someone not worth it...

Originally Posted by Lauliza

That's why I don't believe in carrying out actual "online relationships". Online dating websites are a great way to meet people. But the goal is to take that initial introduction offline and into real life ASAP. Otherwise, I agree that you can end up hurt, among other things.

Relationships are risky, whether you initially meet on-line or IRL. Can get hurt, either way, there's always that risk. 20 years on-line, not ever once, did I carry out a romantic affair, nor actually meet any of my 'online friends'. Until this time. ...

Discussing futures, logistics, secondary father figure, retirement desires, on and on...

He'll see my area, in a matter of days. As I have seen his area. the 2k miles apart, has made things logistically frustrating, at the same time, I think it was sndman, that mentioned, this type of meeting, and distance, allows for a different level of growth and bonding, without as I'd call it, masking anything with physical gesturing(not primarily sex, but also, cuddling and other intimate gestures.) It's a good way, to really get to know another human being.

It is important, to get the whole 'fantasy effect' out of the way, by actually meeting one another. One step, that can get lost, with the distance, is the day to day living, seeing a person often enough, to realize whether the little things get to you or not, but that also holds true for close proximity.

With online, for me, I got to feel my way around, and get a deeper understanding of character, seeing that, if I was around online (even before the internet ) and chatting with various people, I've been able to see through truths and lies, much better. Well,

guess, the reality is, that I've had some doozies of relationships that occurred meeting in real life. Without the internet, seeing there is 2K miles apart, would I ever, ever have met him???

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Relationships are risky, whether you initially meet on-line or IRL. Can get hurt, either way, there's always that risk. 20 years on-line, not ever once, did I carry out a romantic affair, nor actually meet any of my 'online friends'. Until this time. ...

Discussing futures, logistics, secondary father figure, retirement desires, on and on...

He'll see my area, in a matter of days. As I have seen his area. the 2k miles apart, has made things logistically frustrating, at the same time, I think it was sndman, that mentioned, this type of meeting, and distance, allows for a different level of growth and bonding, without as I'd call it, masking anything with physical gesturing(not primarily sex, but also, cuddling and other intimate gestures.) It's a good way, to really get to know another human being.

It is important, to get the whole 'fantasy effect' out of the way, by actually meeting one another. One step, that can get lost, with the distance, is the day to day living, seeing a person often enough, to realize whether the little things get to you or not, but that also holds true for close proximity.

With online, for me, I got to feel my way around, and get a deeper understanding of character, seeing that, if I was around online (even before the internet ) and chatting with various people, I've been able to see through truths and lies, much better. Well,

guess, the reality is, that I've had some doozies of relationships that occurred meeting in real life. Without the internet, seeing there is 2K miles apart, would I ever, ever have met him???

You're right, you may never have met him and since you are meeting in person, I think this is a great thing. There is always a risk in relationships online or IRL. The added risk with online is the "catfish" or fakers that are out there. But that's not the case here. I hope it all works out for you!

Originally Posted by Lauliza

That's why I don't believe in carrying out actual "online relationships". Online dating websites are a great way to meet people. But the goal is to take that initial introduction offline and into real life ASAP. Otherwise, I agree that you can end up hurt, among other things.

I understand your perspective but not necessarily true. "taking the initial introduction offline... asap" If someone is smart about their online relationship, it can work out just fine. There are fakers and "catfish" and such online, true.. but again doing things smart can avoid most of this plus, this kind of implies that meeting IRL is safe.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I understand your perspective but not necessarily true. "taking the initial introduction offline... asap" If someone is smart about their online relationship, it can work out just fine. There are fakers and "catfish" and such online, true.. but again doing things smart can avoid most of this plus, this kind of implies that meeting IRL is safe.

Sorry I left out details. When I say meet irl asap, I'm taking into account you are going to use precautions - meet in public, people should know where you are, avoid alcohol the first time. Don't go to their house or have them to yours until you know each other we'll, enough. I know its not always easy. I live near a city so there is not the issue of travel that people in more rural areas face. But otherwise, meeting IRL is safe if you are smart/careful about it. There are always risks involved when meeting new people,e so you should never be too trusting. I've done it many times and had been very careful. Others havent I know, but I dont think we should avoid meeting offline out of fear, we just ha e to be hyper aware of your surroundings.

I find it is very easy to misrepresent yourself in email, so getting too intimate that way can create its own set of problems. Ive used dating sites as a tool for real world experiences. it doesn't interest me to carry on for too long (by that I mean more than a week or two) online.

Although I've never personally tried to meet a romantic partner online, the stories above prove that you can still find decent people online. Stay away from it's just lunch. I heard nothing but bad things about that site.

Try meetup.com. It's free to join, and you can meet a lot of people at once in a group! Plus, no one can lie about how they look! Online, anyone can do that, and they often do. Not everyone does that, but a lot of people do. There are also a lot of men on those sites who are players.

They'll send out a ton of messages to women and they'll be really good at telling them what they want to hear. So be careful and check a guy out before taking what he says at face value. If he refuses to give you his phone number, email, address, and last name, delete him and move on as he's probably hiding something like a wife or g.f. Also, if a guy pressures you into sending racy photos to soon, or sex, again, delete him and move on.

Google tricks online players use and you'll be able to spot them a mile away! There are some good people out there, but they're hard to find!

[Hoonoo]

Met mine online. Married five years and we still send each other love notes

I'll acknowledge that online dating may work for some, but it's been failure after failure to me. At least in real life, people tend to act politely (well more so than online). Online, they make fun of my hair (and the way I look in general), my career aspirations, the fact that I have a higher education past a Bachelor's and that I'm seeking a doctoral degree. I mean, I know a lot of guys are threatened by someone with an education and actual career aspirations. And it's probably disappointing to them to see me go headlong into a career meaning no kids.

Anyway…I would suggest just keeping dating completely offline. Online dating destroyed what little part of me actually thought I was attractive and that someone would ever want me. I don't want the same thing to happen to you…or anyone.

[fraiser]

Beware of broken English, falling for you too fast, and asking for money no matter how legit it may seem.

[Psnoodle]

Not to scare you but check this out....I knew someone that had his girl friend at his house and would pretend he was working while chatting online with other women, while she was in the same room. I don't believe all people are sneaky liars but just be careful. Its hard....I always manage to trust the wrong people and shut out the right people... I have a man in my life and I love him very much, the idea of living without is suffocating. I've asked myself, if we split, wld I try looking online ? Probably give it a small chance and then run away...let me know ur findings.

Originally Posted by Lauliza

Sorry I left out details. When I say meet irl asap, I'm taking into account you are going to use precautions - meet in public, people should know where you are, avoid alcohol the first time. Don't go to their house or have them to yours until you know each other we'll, enough. I know its not always easy. I live near a city so there is not the issue of travel that people in more rural areas face. But otherwise, meeting IRL is safe if you are smart/careful about it. There are always risks involved when meeting new people,e so you should never be too trusting. I've done it many times and had been very careful. Others havent I know, but I dont think we should avoid meeting offline out of fear, we just ha e to be hyper aware of your surroundings.

I find it is very easy to misrepresent yourself in email, so getting too intimate that way can create its own set of problems. Ive used dating sites as a tool for real world experiences. it doesn't interest me to carry on for too long (by that I mean more than a week or two) online.

I get ya there. having an online relationship is what i happen to be involved in right now so.. yeah and its going to be a few months before she can move to where I am.

All of the things about being cautious make sense, in a situation where you're using online to meet people local and such. I think that being cautious about people is just a general rule anyone with common sense should follow. just because you met someone initially face to face does not mean you know them any better than if your first meeting was online. Just assume you know NOTHING about the person and act accordingly whether it was online or off initially.

I was only commenting on th asap in the sense that it's not like something that everyone has to or should do. Depends on the situation for me.