[ptangptang]

I've met a lovely lady online and she thinks im nice, interesting and she wants to get to know me. YAY!!! ( i sound like s lovestruck teenager- i'm 57 haha). Ok first date tips please. We are both within easy reach of London ( 'bout half hour on the train) but from different directions.( i don't have a car). Do you think a whole day with someone on the first date is too much.? When i go to London i like to spend the day there cos there is so much to do I had in mind this... I know a great venue ( actually a church-tho i'm not religious) that does great free luchtime concerts about once a month), then maybe a museum or gallery or whatever she likes then a comedy club in the evening.
Also i told a couple of white lies. I'm about 5'1" but i put 5'4" on the profile just to stand a chance. She's 5' so not really a prob. Im thinking of wearing shoe lifts but taking them out halfway through the day and seein if she notices haha. And hopefully we could laugh about it. Or not hmm. Sometimes i'm just too silly for my own good. Ok First date tips please. Don't be shy.

[Webgoji]

First ... Congrats PtangPtang!

I would say that you shouldn't wear lifts or put a sock in your pants or anything like. I imagine that would be unsettling to watch you instantly drop 3 inches in height suddenly. Be a gentleman. Seriously, people laugh when I say that, but there's a shortage of real gentlemen these days.

As for the planning, I would suggest having ideas up your sleeve, but don't get emotionally invested in them. Let it flow. Always ask and consider what she wants. Make her the center of your attention and if she would rather go to Piccadilly (is that spelled right?) instead of the comedy club, then go with it. You'll quickly catch on to when she wants to give input and when she would like you to take the lead. Every woman should feel like the center of the universe and you'll have a great time putting her there.

[Webgoji]

(I've never been to London, but I remember there are werewolves in Piccadilly.)

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

(I've never been to London, but I remember there are werewolves in Piccadilly.)

Haha yeah there still are. And various forms of sharks, cougars ,bears, etc etc. Haha. One of my favourite films incidentally.

[unaluna]

Sounds like a lot for a first meeting. Here in the states, we just meet for coffee and a chat. Then decide if we want to see each other again. Not that i've done this a lot, but i have a couple of times. I would be surprised if a stranger would commit to spending a whole day.

[winter4me]

nix the lifts. (& correct your ht. on the site, nothing wrong with a short man, but, as a woman, I can say we become uncomfortable with lies...and sometimes begin to extrapolate about what else might not be true...) be you. I would suggest you meet, see how it goes...maybe you will end up spending the whole day, maybe not---and do get her input, be interested in getting to know her...take your time (down fido!)...it sounds really nice enjoy and let us know how it goes.

I agree with hankster. I know you're doing a 1/2 hour train ride, but I would set it up as coffee. That way, if you're totally repulsed by her appearance or something you haven't wasted a lot of time. (Not that looks are everything, but there's got to be some chemistry or it won't work.) Then, if you're really hitting it off, after the coffee you could suggest something else, like the museum, etc. I wouldn't lock myself into a whole-day affair with someone you've never met.

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by hankster

Sounds like a lot for a first meeting. Here in the states, we just meet for coffee and a chat. Then decide if we want to see each other again. Not that i've done this a lot, but i have a couple of times. I would be surprised if a stranger would commit to spending a whole day.

Yeah that's what i sort of think too but coffee is so meh and if it goes badly blah. Haha. Maybe i'll suggest the concert and then suggest coffee/drink and some food and then if we're not screaming at other by then and she fancies going somewhere afer then hey ho lets go. Or, due to my lack of height hi ho (hee hee). What do you think of the height situation.? Any other tips?

[ptangptang]

Thanks ladies. It's just that the first impression lasts and 5'4 looks better than 5'1" but yeah i guess lying ( even if it's a white lie) isn't a good idea. It's just that getting ladies to respond on dating sites is so hard that a few tweaks seem to be neccesary. We've seen each others pictures and assuming they are all kosher ( oy oy oy)- i'm not jewish tho, then all should be well. I think she's lovely and if she can cope with my ugly mug then all's good,. Oh and i go to London anyway so would go on to do other stuff anyway and want to go to the comedy club anyway ( that's also free). Oh dear she'll think i'm a real skinflint). Do you say that in the US?. I'll say i'll pay for a coffee but any extras she pays for herself. Haha. How would that go down.? Haha. I'm kidding of course.

[Raggedy Man]

I can't really identify with your vertical problem. I'm 5'11", but so is my wife. I used to try sometimes to appear taller than her, usually by wearing boots or something. But it doesn't really matter. If she appears taller then we have that Sonny and Cher thing going on. I'm quite alright with that.

Going to a concert and an art gallery sound lovely! I don't suppose the concert is a symphony??? That would be too perfect! I can hardly plan a day better than the symphony and an art gallery, or maybe a botanical garden...

Anyway, I hope you have a splendid time. And do as Webgoji suggested and be a gentleman ( I have been opening car doors for my wife for 32 years... even in the dark when no one is watching. She really appreciates it.), and be yourself. You'll do fine.

Please report back after your date. Good luck!

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by Raggedy Man

I can't really identify with your vertical problem. I'm 5'11", but so is my wife. I used to try sometimes to appear taller than her, usually by wearing boots or something. But it doesn't really matter. If she appears taller then we have that Sonny and Cher thing going on. I'm quite alright with that.

Going to a concert and an art gallery sound lovely! I don't suppose the concert is a symphony??? That would be too perfect! I can hardly plan a day better than the symphony and an art gallery, or maybe a botanical garden...

Anyway, I hope you have a splendid time. And do as Webgoji suggested and be a gentleman ( I have been opening car doors for my wife for 32 years... even in the dark when no one is watching. She really appreciates it.), and be yourself. You'll do fine.

Please report back after your date. Good luck!

Cheers mate. No not a symphony, though that could be on list for future dates. No they have about 3 diff acts of all sorts. It's an eclectic mix. But she couldn't help but be impressed by the venue it's just so lovely.
Yeah, i like to think that i'm a gentleman ( even after getting dirty looks for holding doors open for women ( some, not all) that think they don't want that sort of thing.
I like holding car doors open and if i'm quick enough i can get away in them too. Perhaps i won't tell her that. KIDDING!!!.
Maybe this 'height' issue is more in my head than in the heads of women. I guess attraction is more than that. I HOPE.

[UnderRugSwept]

I just wanted to wish you well on your date! I also wanted to weigh in on the height issue...it really shouldn't be that big of a deal at all. (But make sure you come clean about why you said you were 5'4!) She should like you for you! I am not quite 5'4 and I have gone out with very tall guys (my ex-husband is 6'3), but the love of my life is 5'7! I don't care how tall a guy is, it's not relevant to how wonderful he is...or isn't!

Do be a gentleman as advised (I am in my 30s, and I can say it's appreciated)!

Have fun and best of luck to you!

[unaluna]

My dad always said his legs were long enough so his feet reached the ground!

Looks, height, etc., dont really matter to me. That said, i do feel it is more honorable to pick on someone my own size!

[gma45]

I agree with Hankster and everyone else, be yourself and a gentleman. Maybe discuss the first date with her and see what she has in mind. I think all day is too long also. Don't be a skinflint or should I say CHEAP! lol! I haven't heard that term used in a long time. I don't think the younger USA generation knows what that is. As for the height issue, I would just wear your regular shoes. Best of luck to you!

[Djinn8]

I went on a first date the other day. It went really well. We met up and took a walk to a cafe, where we had something to eat and a cup of tea. Then we went to the museum and walked around the art gallery. After that we sat on a park bench and had a smoke while watching some guys bounce on a trampoline, then walked down the road to a nearby pub where we had a pint and arranged meeting up again in a few weeks. In all it lasted for about three hours or so, which seemed like the perfect amount of time for a first date.

[ptangptang]

Hey Djinn. that sounds really great. We're you nervous?. Yeah i think you should do more than just go for a coffee. Also moving round breaks the tension a bit and lets you be more natural with each other. Hope mine goes just as well. Few weeks ?. Nah. If you both got on well contact her in a few days say how much you enjoyed it and fix something up for a weeks time. Don't let the grass grow under your feet. And if you do, go see the doctor cos you might be turning into a tree. ( see what she'll have to put up with).

[winter4me]

best 50+ yrs couple I know, he is 5', she is over 6'. lying is not necessary. at all. if you don't want to disclose something before meeting, just leave that information out. I think men think they can "fix" things later...women think otherwise. (a generalization but...)

Something that's not been hit on yet (and you probably know this, but I feel like it needs to be said just in case)…be aware of how much space she's comfortable with and careful with touch as well. The best first date I ever went on, the guy gave me a lot of space and didn't touch me until he hugged me at the end. That actually made me feel safe and I actually felt like I wanted to touch him at some point in the future (like holding hands or something). I don't know, there's just something extremely respectful about holding back physically at first. Of course, if she initiates touch, you may be in the clear, as that would show she probably doesn't have a problem with touch like I do (and other people do).

Also, I was nervous at first, but I quickly became comfortable (and I have pretty severe anxiety, so that's saying something), so don't worry about being nervous. I think everyone has some nerves at first anyway.

But anyway, good luck and have fun!

P.S. I'm so happy for you!

[hvert]

+1 for the idea of adjusting your profile so that it reflects your correct height, or simply leaving it blank. It's not uncommon for men and women to lie about their height and weight on dating sites, but it does not make for a good first impression when the first thing you think upon meeting is 'wow, he/she lied to me.'

I like your ideas for your date. Concert and coffee/food afterwards sounds like a nice first date, and so is having ideas in mind for later on. You could plan on doing those other things on your own, to extend the day in London, and ask her to come along if it feels right in the moment. My first date with my current boyfriend was meant to be dinner and a movie, but we had such a good time that we wound up going to a concert and then out for a late night snack as well.

I hope you have a great time!

[Djinn8]

Originally Posted by ptangptang

Hey Djinn. that sounds really great. We're you nervous?. Yeah i think you should do more than just go for a coffee. Also moving round breaks the tension a bit and lets you be more natural with each other. Hope mine goes just as well. Few weeks ?. Nah. If you both got on well contact her in a few days say how much you enjoyed it and fix something up for a weeks time. Don't let the grass grow under your feet. And if you do, go see the doctor cos you might be turning into a tree. ( see what she'll have to put up with).

I was a bit nervous, but it wasn't the first time we'd met. I'd known the girl for a few years, we'd just never hung out on our own before.

Here's another tip for you: when you meet your girl, bring her a little gift. I'm a sculptor so I made my date a little crab out of clay (her star sign). It's something she can look at afterwards and reflect on. Get the right gift and with a bit of luck that reflection will be "how thoughtful. I should give him a call". In my case it also opened the opportunity to send her a funny text about giving her crabs, lol.

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by Djinn8

I was a bit nervous, but it wasn't the first time we'd met. I'd known the girl for a few years, we'd just never hung out on our own before.

Here's another tip for you: when you meet your girl, bring her a little gift. I'm a sculptor so I made my date a little crab out of clay (her star sign). It's something she can look at afterwards and reflect on. Get the right gift and with a bit of luck that reflection will be "how thoughtful. I should give him a call". In my case it also opened the opportunity to send her a funny text about giving her crabs, lol.

Haha I like your style.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by ptangptang

I've met a lovely lady online and she thinks im nice, interesting and she wants to get to know me. YAY!!! ( i sound like s lovestruck teenager- i'm 57 haha). Ok first date tips please. We are both within easy reach of London ( 'bout half hour on the train) but from different directions.( i don't have a car). Do you think a whole day with someone on the first date is too much.? When i go to London i like to spend the day there cos there is so much to do I had in mind this... I know a great venue ( actually a church-tho i'm not religious) that does great free luchtime concerts about once a month), then maybe a museum or gallery or whatever she likes then a comedy club in the evening.
Also i told a couple of white lies. I'm about 5'1" but i put 5'4" on the profile just to stand a chance. She's 5' so not really a prob. Im thinking of wearing shoe lifts but taking them out halfway through the day and seein if she notices haha. And hopefully we could laugh about it. Or not hmm. Sometimes i'm just too silly for my own good. Ok First date tips please. Don't be shy.

Hey ptang, that's awesome congrats! I'd treat her to brunch/lunch and then based on how it goes, just see if she still wants to do something else! I'd just have things planned to do, like you do and just play it by ear! I'd confess to her about your height before you meet her! When I was dating I found women liked me to dress sharp, to bring them flowers and hold their hand on the first date, and open the door, get their chair, etc., and pay for everything for them! Just try to be open, honest, upfront, humorous, confident and complimentary! Best of luck, don't worry, everyone gets cold feet on game day!

Originally Posted by ptangptang

I've met a lovely lady online and she thinks im nice, interesting and she wants to get to know me. YAY!!! ( i sound like s lovestruck teenager- i'm 57 haha). Ok first date tips please. We are both within easy reach of London ( 'bout half hour on the train) but from different directions.( i don't have a car). Do you think a whole day with someone on the first date is too much.? When i go to London i like to spend the day there cos there is so much to do I had in mind this... I know a great venue ( actually a church-tho i'm not religious) that does great free luchtime concerts about once a month), then maybe a museum or gallery or whatever she likes then a comedy club in the evening.
Also i told a couple of white lies. I'm about 5'1" but i put 5'4" on the profile just to stand a chance. She's 5' so not really a prob. Im thinking of wearing shoe lifts but taking them out halfway through the day and seein if she notices haha. And hopefully we could laugh about it. Or not hmm. Sometimes i'm just too silly for my own good. Ok First date tips please. Don't be shy.

tang, can you pm me her profile? Thanks.

Best of luck. I don't really have any first date type experience to be able to offer any advice.

[healingme4me]

I really like the whole day in London idea! If it's too, much, there's a variety of things, that sound planned out, and there's various bowing out points, for either of you! Various cities, are like that, where when you go, you just want to spend the day there, Boston, is one of those cities.

About the height thing, perhaps, she'll just figure it's been a while, since you were given your height? ((similar, but the opposite here, was told 5'9", but gosh, closer to my 6'))

Hope all goes well!! Rooting for you!!!

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by ptangptang

I've met a lovely lady online and she thinks im nice, interesting and she wants to get to know me. YAY!!! ( i sound like s lovestruck teenager- i'm 57 haha). Ok first date tips please. We are both within easy reach of London ( 'bout half hour on the train) but from different directions.( i don't have a car). Do you think a whole day with someone on the first date is too much.? When i go to London i like to spend the day there cos there is so much to do I had in mind this... I know a great venue ( actually a church-tho i'm not religious) that does great free luchtime concerts about once a month), then maybe a museum or gallery or whatever she likes then a comedy club in the evening.
Also i told a couple of white lies. I'm about 5'1" but i put 5'4" on the profile just to stand a chance. She's 5' so not really a prob. Im thinking of wearing shoe lifts but taking them out halfway through the day and seein if she notices haha. And hopefully we could laugh about it. Or not hmm. Sometimes i'm just too silly for my own good. Ok First date tips please. Don't be shy.

Hey ptang, how did the date go?