I dont know what to do!!

Last Friday my Ex and I got into an argument. For the past month weve been trying to rekindle what we had. Weve been back and forth for the past 9 years. He came back to me this time and said he wanted to take my time and just let him show i was what he wanted. This one argument was super trivial and came from a place a fear for the both of us. And now we havent spoken for the past week. I miss him dearly and tried speaking to him on Wed and he said he would let me talk but he wasnt ready to talk at the time. I miss him tho hes like my best friend and i just want a hud from him and i feel like i would call down. After Wed i havent reached out at all and niether has he. Yesterday i had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital. So much is going thru my mind including not speaking to him and i was overwhelmed. After i was discharged i text him and he called me and he let me vent about some issues but didnt want to discuss anything with us really.
I dont know what to do with it. Not speaking to him is affecting me, but i am trying to give him his time. Im trying so hard but it hurts me. We went from being ok to just dead all over again and im lost.
Please Help Me!!

Instead of being in the blue corner and red corner throwing punches at each other it sometime helps to sit down and discuss the nature of your relationship. What do you need from the relationship and what are your fears? What are his needs and fears?

Instead of looking for the differences between these lists, look for the similarities, agree on some things you need and he needs (this brings you to the same side of the table). Brainstorm how you might get what you both need, decide on some ways you can both have your needs met. Agree to try these strategies and make a date for review and possible restructure in a week or two.

Hope you both get what you need, but keep in mind that sometimes a horrible ending is better than horrors without end.

Love and Light