[pinwickey]

Such a sadness has come over me since my husband began crossdressing. It is very difficult for me to be supportive and happy for him.

[pinwickey]

I have been visiting a site that has been supportive of my husband since he began crossdressing. All the males complain about their wives being non supportive and most are divorced or getting a divorce. Is this the norm or should I attribute it to the site?

[Belle1979]

Welcome Pinwickey.

I haven't been in your situation but I do think that I would find it hard to be supportive and happy.

Have you discussed your feelings with your husband?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello pinwickey,

This seems like such a sad situation for you. When they expect you to simply accept their deisres and needs with open arms but you are still in shock and trying to come to terms with the surreality of the situation, it can bring you down into a depression that they just don't understand although they should because the depression they have gone through at having to hide themselves for so long is proprtional to what their partner feels.

When I think of this I feel for you. There is something very gut kicking and shocking when you first see your bf, partner/husband in either your clothes or clothes they've been buying and hiding from you.

Yes they are going to go somewhere they feel supported and there aren't many communities which are supportive for the partners of those who crossdress. I'm unsure as to whether those who crossdress truly expect their partner to support them, or if they genuinely are afraid of losing their marriage.

It is very difficult to come to terms with two lots of makeup in the bathroom and two lots of scanties in the drawers, yet they expect you to. I think they may be so caught up with their desires and needs that they forget about their partner and are upset when that partner doesn't react with glee to the situation.

I can tell you honestly that I feel very sorry for your plight and I understand how difficut it is as well as how shocking it is. After the shock and surreal phase it is natural to go into the grief stage. At this time it is good to contact a grief counsellor. A counsellor at this stage can save you a lot of anguish down the track, before your feelings are in too much turmoil for you to understand what started where.

I hope you can see a counsellor and sort your feelings out in an ordered way, so that you are able to handle what you want to do with your own life, be it with or without your husband,

Rhiannon

I think you are grieving. For your husband to expect more of you is unrealistic. Are you and he able to communicate? Does he know how shocked you are? Have the children talked about their feelings?

At some point, you will have to make a decision.

I will you well.

[lynn P.]

(((pinwicky))) - I can understand why you're grieving. Would you mind if I ask you a few questions? Does he do this all the time or discreetly occasionally? I also want to say I appreciate all the other posts.

I do want to offer a ray of hope here. Many people are under the misconception that men who cross dress are gay. True there some who are, but the average male who fancies women's clothing aren't gay. He can still love and desire you. There are marriages that survive this but it's necessary to work through the feelings. If he's doing this discreetly it would be easier, but some women can accept being around their husband when dressed as a woman.

Of course there are some women who simply can't accept this in a marriage. If you both still love each other, you can learn to separate this aspect and still be with him. Have a caring and open discussion and see what he says - don't automatically close the 'door'. He most likely has been doing this since adolescence so it's nothing to do with 'you'. I'm sure he has painfully struggled with all his life. Try to separate the love you have for him, from him dressing up.

[pinwickey]

Yes, we have discussed it, cried about it, gotten loud about it and he has been going to a phychiatrist. I will going to counseling soon and then as a couple we will go and then the family.

Originally Posted by Belle1979

Welcome Pinwickey.

I haven't been in your situation but I do think that I would find it hard to be supportive and happy.

Have you discussed your feelings with your husband?

[pinwickey]

Our children are grown. All of them know now. Yes, I am grieving and at one point I even though it might be good to have a mock funeral so that I could manage to get on with the grieving process. Since then I have decided that the desire to crossdress has been a part of him since childhood perhaps and he has just started to be able to express these feelings. We are communicating and trying to find common ground.

Thanks for your well wishes.

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

I think you are grieving. For your husband to expect more of you is unrealistic. Are you and he able to communicate? Does he know how shocked you are? Have the children talked about their feelings?

At some point, you will have to make a decision.

I will you well.

[Lynn smith 622]

I am with a man who cross dresses only when he masturbates and recently we are trying to be open about it and incorporate it into our sex life but I too feel like I don't find him sexually attractive and I just don't get it. He is straight, loves me but has been wearing lingerie and shoes to masturbate since 12 years old, if anyone understands this I would love to hear from them