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  #1  
Old Feb 18, 2014, 08:32 PM
pinkbutterfly pinkbutterfly is offline
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Ok...my depression is really bad right now.

I am having the worst irritability with my kids. To be honest, just the idea of dealing with people increases my irritability.

I just don't know how to deal with the frustration. The big thing is when they are not listening. I've had to tell my boys their consequences of the not listening is going to bed earlier - every time I have to repeat myself they will go to bed 15 minutes earlier.

Ok...hopefully that will help some of it.

But I don't know what to do with MY frustration or irritability. I don't know why it irritates me so much. Is that a part of the depression.

Some days I wish I wasn't a mom...
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Anonymous100108, changethecycle, healingme4me, monkeybusiness
Thanks for this!
monkeybusiness

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  #2  
Old Feb 18, 2014, 08:39 PM
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leomama leomama is offline
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Hi pinkbutterfly, I empathize with you. I too have a kid. May I ask if you are taking any medication or if you're in therapy? Do you have a partner? It sounds like you might have dysthmia, like a low grade depression with agitation.
Thanks for this!
monkeybusiness
  #3  
Old Feb 18, 2014, 09:08 PM
pinkbutterfly pinkbutterfly is offline
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I am on medication...in the midst of starting a new med - got off of pristiq and am now starting on Cymbalta. Also on zoloft. And ativan for anxiety, and terazosin to help with PTSD nightmares.

I am in therapy. Once a week. A week goes by SO slow. Crazy slow.

Separated from husband (going to divorce). the boys go to his house every two weeks -- it's two weeks with me two weeks with him.

I was thinking about that because I saw my therapist's diagnostic code - Major Depressive Disorder, Single Episode, Moderate. Interestingly. I have been depressed for a LONG LONG time. I don't think I have had more than about a month free of it in the past several years. Maybe a week here and there. I definitely have chronic depression....though it feels worse than moderate...defintiely doesn't feel like low grade depression. Though I have not been in the hospital since August. So that's good.
Thanks for this!
monkeybusiness
  #4  
Old Feb 18, 2014, 09:25 PM
recentdiscovery recentdiscovery is offline
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Hi pinkbutterfly,

I also have experienced the same frustration with my kids, so quick for me to get angry about the same exact thing: repeating myself, and well lots of other things too but they really didn't deserve the anger. I feel very bad about it all and don't feel that way anymore since starting treatment, maybe because I was diagnosed and I realized that it wasn't normal to get frustrated like that, in addition to the meds.

It was definitely a symptom of my depression. Practicing Mindfulness for me was the cure to the frustration and anger I was experiencing.
  #5  
Old Feb 18, 2014, 10:37 PM
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leomama leomama is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly View Post
I am on medication...in the midst of starting a new med - got off of pristiq and am now starting on Cymbalta. Also on zoloft. And ativan for anxiety, and terazosin to help with PTSD nightmares.

I am in therapy. Once a week. A week goes by SO slow. Crazy slow.

Separated from husband (going to divorce). the boys go to his house every two weeks -- it's two weeks with me two weeks with him.

I was thinking about that because I saw my therapist's diagnostic code - Major Depressive Disorder, Single Episode, Moderate. Interestingly. I have been depressed for a LONG LONG time. I don't think I have had more than about a month free of it in the past several years. Maybe a week here and there. I definitely have chronic depression....though it feels worse than moderate...defintiely doesn't feel like low grade depression. Though I have not been in the hospital since August. So that's good.
That's quite a lot of medication you're on! Who's supervising your medication? You say you're having PTSD nightmares but you're diagnosed with major depressive disorder? Have you told your therapist about your nightmares?
  #6  
Old Feb 18, 2014, 11:05 PM
pinkbutterfly pinkbutterfly is offline
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oh yes...I have a psychiatrist -- FINALLY got in with one who didn't schedule me once every 4-6 months. I am seeing him monthly right now while we're changing medications around.

And my therapist knows about it...that was just my therapist's diagnosis. She knows about the nightmares. I am sure she just has the singular diagnosis for insurance purposes...I don't know. I kind of want to discuss it with her. It's funny because I will tell her that I don't have an eating disorder, and she gives me a look...can't seem to convince her of it.

My psychiatrist had four listed...I don't remember the code, so I don't remember if the depression was severe or moderate. Also PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (i think), and Eating Disorder NOS.

My friend suggested calling the psychiatrist's office to see if I can get in sooner. I don't know. I just took my last dosage of the pristiq on Sunday - was tapering down off of 100mg/day. (10 days at 50mg/day, then 10 days of 50mg every other day to nothing). I started the cymbalta 30mg 2x/day when I dropped to the every other day pristiq.
  #7  
Old Feb 18, 2014, 11:14 PM
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leomama leomama is offline
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Are your therapist and your psychiatrist in communication with each other? You should discuss your diagnosis with your therapist. You should be able to call your psychiatrist and talk to him/her if you're experiencing medication difficulties.
  #8  
Old Feb 19, 2014, 12:56 AM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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Depression or not, kids are a ton of work, a handful, and yes, the not listening is enough to drive anyone to feeling irritable.

Being a mom, can be frustrating. Is the two weeks on/two weeks off, just enough to toss you into a tailspin, by virtue of having so much peace and quiet, that when they get there, it's an overwhelming change in your routine?

  #9  
Old Feb 19, 2014, 07:34 AM
pinkbutterfly pinkbutterfly is offline
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Yeah...I think it is some of that...I get into a routine on my own, and then they're back with me and we have to readjust into a new routine. We tried doing one week but it was too much upheaval for the boys. The boys never got settled into a routine. So while it may be more difficult for me, it's better for them. They never got a "down" weekend.
  #10  
Old Feb 19, 2014, 07:53 AM
pinkbutterfly pinkbutterfly is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leomama View Post
Are your therapist and your psychiatrist in communication with each other? You should discuss your diagnosis with your therapist. You should be able to call your psychiatrist and talk to him/her if you're experiencing medication difficulties.
No, they aren't in communication...but I do tell her what goes on in my appts with him. And I guess I am just not sure if I'm experiencing medication difficulties or i'm just adjusting to a new medication. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to call and ask about it.

Not just the frustration and irritability...my depression is quite severe right now. I have little blips of good things that happen that seem to pull me up slightly for a bit, but that bit never seems to be more than half a day or so.
  #11  
Old Feb 19, 2014, 08:48 AM
Anonymous100108
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this is a hard one................

there is so much responsibility in being a parent. Yet part of you wants the kids to just be kids and have wild fun.

Sounds like you are working hard at raising them to be responsible people. And it is draining.

I offer you hugs of support. It does get easier..... hang in there.
  #12  
Old Feb 19, 2014, 09:35 PM
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leomama leomama is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly View Post
No, they aren't in communication...but I do tell her what goes on in my appts with him. And I guess I am just not sure if I'm experiencing medication difficulties or i'm just adjusting to a new medication. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to call and ask about it.

Not just the frustration and irritability...my depression is quite severe right now. I have little blips of good things that happen that seem to pull me up slightly for a bit, but that bit never seems to be more than half a day or so.
I'm surprised that your psychiatrist and psychotherapist aren't in communication. They should be working together to help you.
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