Why did my fiancee tell me she doesn't completely understand my learning disability?

You do know that you quoted my post and then didn't respond to anything in it, right?

You don't need to give up on yourself. You just need to work on making a plan for yourself that doesn't involve relying on your fiancee for everything. That starts with identifying your challenges, so that you can start brainstorming ways to make them easier.

Your fiancee has no control over you bank account - if your father is on the account, then he has control with you, which means that you need him there to help sort that out. Unless you have a joint account set up with your fiancee, then she can't do anything with your banking besides stand there with you.

What if I can not take control of my life like she can. It's like I have no freedom at all. It's crazy how she got her money before I did like I'm supposed to deal with the fact that I can't think of everything else either. Like I know how figure out everything on own. I got so angry at her cause it seemed like she was supposed to suggest it to me when I need like I don't have the skills to be problem solving everything little detail. I feel like she don't care like I can't problem solve like she can. I'm not good at it, like I ever will be.

If you can't manage taking control for yourself, then you need to have a larger support system than just your fiancee - including seeing what health care services you would be eligble for.

If you feel like you have no freedom because you can't do things without difficulty (totally a fair thought), then can't you see how it might make your fiancee feel like she has no freedom if she has to do everything (or nearly everything) for you without even being asked?

I don't see how it's crazy that she got her money first - she went and set up her account and I think you said that she has told you she didn't know you wanted one or that you said you didn't want one. You reached difficulties getting your money because your dad is on the account or something as a payee - you would have ran into the very same difficulty if your fiancee had been there with you. The person you needed with you was your dad, not your fiancee.

I'll restate this though: if you can't figure things out on your own, you need to seek assistance outside of your fiancee. She cannot act as a personal support worker for you, but that is what it sounds like you want from her. She is your partner, not your worker. Just as you are her partner, not her job.

It isn't fair to be angry at her. She cannot read your mind and she cannot automatically know what you want help with. Yes, it would have been lovely if she had guessed that you wanted to do the same thing she was doing and if she had offered to help you. But even if she had - you would have still faced the same delay because you needed your dad as he was set up as the payee (or whatever it was).

Do you qualify for any programs to help with your disability? Is there any chance that you qualify for some form of personal support worker? If you don't know the answer, then I would recommend you try asking your doctor. It does sound like you need help at least getting yourself started, but that responsibility doesn't fall on your fiancee's shoulders.

Again - I really am trying to help you, but I am having a very hard time understanding a lot of what problems you're facing because you didn't answer my questions. It's ok if you don't want to answer my questions, but I can't help you or understand anymore. You've mostly just repeated the same few things that you have already said.

It feels like she had more freedom than I do cause I didn't really get a chance to learn it. I feel I can't take this relationship any further cause she can't help me cause of my dad has full custody of my money. And like I can change that for like I know how. Like I can things on my own but I can't without asking my dad all the time. I'm afraid he won't let me have it. I feel so helpless with this stuff like I'm ready to get married any time soon.

Please don't punish her for having learned things that you haven't been able to... that isn't her fault! Nor is it fair to punish her for the fact that your dad is in control of everything.

Talk to your dad. Ask him to help you gain some more independence in regards to your finances. Tell your fiancee your anxiety over the accounts, and see if she would sit with you and your dad to take part in the conversation so that she could help address your dad's concerns and he could ask her questions too. Why not ask your fiancee if she would be up for being a joint-person on your account? If she's alright with that, then bring that to your dad and explain that as you're getting married you and your fiancee think that you should be in control of your own finances. Then go to the bank with your dad and your fiancee and get things changed over.

I have not followed the details, so, just a thought - there are professional money managers who hold money in trust for some mentally ill patients. The fee for such services is small and sometimes even picked up by the state for qualifying patients. The benefits of putting your money in trust this way include not having to deal with relatives or SO's when it comes to money. Instead, you deal with professionals - no enmeshment, no aggravated feelings, but efficient resolution of issues.

maybe with LD it is also worth looking into.