[CastlesInTheAir]

There is a saying that goes
"a guy who is nice to a pretty girl but is rude to a waitress/waiter, isn't a nice guy"

Social networking for me gives me a pretty dim view on men and relationships. When you mix that with experiences I've had, its even bleaker. You take a guy that's been married for years and he's trying to cheat on his wife on Facebook, or take the guy that plays this "suburban" straight lace man, trying to cheat on his girlfriend. On top of that they think they can talk to you like your some porn star on a party line. Then you have the whole "side chick" talk. The funny thing about that one is instead of degrading the man for what he's doing, both women go at each others throats degrading each other, knowing that the a hole is feeding both of you nothing but crap. You shouldn't be happy being a "main chick," you should be the only chick. Not only that I would be pissed that he thinks of women in that regard in the first place. And I dunno when men determine the "worth" of a woman based on looks and is down right cruel, that gets me too. Its one thing to not be attracted to someone, its another thing to verbally abuse someone because your perspective is so slanted. And these men have kids, and if they happen to have a daughter, they are suddenly a feminist when it comes to how a boy/guy/man will treat thier daughter. Yet, they treat thier wives, girlfriends, baby's momma, like its a friggin game, like you're pieces on a board.

Grrrr

[krisakira]

It's not just men. It's people in general.

[CastlesInTheAir]

True I'm just irritated lately at all . . Lol

[LadyShadow]

I am irritated by this too, but its everybody. I especially hate when women fight over a man who is feeding them both lies. That never made sense to me.

As a person who was always the "side chick" and not the "main chick", I have to say that I feel pissed as well…

But no one has wanted me as the main chick, so meh...

"some" men. Qualify it with that and I completely agree that men like that are losers and don't deserve to have a woman in their life, let alone more than one. Also.. true that men cheat and pull this crap but men do not have a corner on the market of cheating and such. Just had to add my 10 cents

I guess as long as men and women are attracted to these kinds of behaviors there's no incentive for people to change them.

It's not my cup of tea, but I've had plenty of friends that drink it up!

I've just shook my head in amused/confused astonishment at their choices of mates and what they're willing to put up with, and how they allow themselves to be treated, just for the sake of being in a relationship!

Actually makes me want to puke and stay single forever!

But, what do I know, I'm just a silly Pfrog!

[x_BabyG_x]

I've yet to meet a man who hasn't severely hurt me yet. No wonder I have trust issues - I'll never trust another man whole hearted my again.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by x_BabyG_x

I've yet to meet a man who hasn't severely hurt me yet. No wonder I have trust issues - I'll never trust another man whole hearted my again.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It would, indeed be foolish to waltz into a relationship, or beginning of one, with blinders on and just completely, blindly trusting someone. Takes time, to feel a person out, enough to decide whether to take the step into a relationship and certainly, trust is something that is earned over time, and learning to trust again, is possible, but it takes a ton of self work to get there.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by CastlesInTheAir

There is a saying that goes
"a guy who is nice to a pretty girl but is rude to a waitress/waiter, isn't a nice guy"

Social networking for me gives me a pretty dim view on men and relationships. When you mix that with experiences I've had, its even bleaker. You take a guy that's been married for years and he's trying to cheat on his wife on Facebook, or take the guy that plays this "suburban" straight lace man, trying to cheat on his girlfriend. On top of that they think they can talk to you like your some porn star on a party line. Then you have the whole "side chick" talk. The funny thing about that one is instead of degrading the man for what he's doing, both women go at each others throats degrading each other, knowing that the a hole is feeding both of you nothing but crap. You shouldn't be happy being a "main chick," you should be the only chick. Not only that I would be pissed that he thinks of women in that regard in the first place. And I dunno when men determine the "worth" of a woman based on looks and is down right cruel, that gets me too. Its one thing to not be attracted to someone, its another thing to verbally abuse someone because your perspective is so slanted. And these men have kids, and if they happen to have a daughter, they are suddenly a feminist when it comes to how a boy/guy/man will treat thier daughter. Yet, they treat thier wives, girlfriends, baby's momma, like its a friggin game, like you're pieces on a board.

Grrrr

Life in general gives a rather dim view on how people approach relationships, for the most part. Men and Women, both play this game, hun. It's a matter of knowing yourself, to the point, that when you come upon an unavailable one, you spot it, right away, and decide from there, which direction you are going to choose.

[healingme4me]

Just to add perspective, as I was talking to a coworker about this little story, today. As of last year, I was divorced, what, three years? Knew someone, casually, platonically, online. Had waltzed back into a forum, I used to frequent to him telling about his toddler. Ready for some math? So, if divorced roughly the same time, yadda yadda about how whatever the ex wife was, right? riddle me this...TODDLERs are how old? see??

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I don't like the generalizations made here, like "all" men behave as you've said, but, I definitely agree with most of what you've said, with regards to what seems like a lot of men. But, y'know, both genders have their flaws, ...

What's funny is that I actually said a similar saying in chat the other night: Someone who is nice to you but mean to a waiter is not a nice person. I've actually never heard it specifically geared toward a particular gender- or I did and forgot? Either is possible.

People are capable or being really cruel and heartless or really kind and loving. It spans all genders, all walks of life, all demographics. You have to seek out the good ones- it certainly isn't easy.

I think now superficial behavior and little investment in relationships is rewarded initially very quickly. the greater reward takes time and care and few people have the patience for that, in my experience.

I have no solutions, but I can relate to these feelings of frustration.

[CastlesInTheAir]

Well I especially see it at work. As soon as a new person walks in, everyone is picking that person apart bit by bit, well almost everyone. I usually blow it off, but as of late I've been extra sensitive and voicing that I don't think what they are saying is right.

Originally Posted by CastlesInTheAir

Well I especially see it at work. As soon as a new person walks in, everyone is picking that person apart bit by bit, well almost everyone. I usually blow it off, but as of late I've been extra sensitive and voicing that I don't think what they are saying is right.

I've been the only person in a room standing there saying "You are all being mean and unfair to [XPERSON]"... sometimes it can be REALLY hard to do, no matter what we are told as kids or what any one ever says you should do/should have done in any given situation.

So good for you; I know that's not always as easy as it may sound.

[StuckinRut]

I understand what you have written. But manipulation and lying are things which both sexes do, to equal extents. I speak as a guy who has had several bad experiences of being deceived by past girlfriends. Also, I would say it is a myth that guys are more likely to have affairs, cheat, and be promiscuous. Again I speak from experience.

Originally Posted by StuckinRut

Also, I would say it is a myth that guys are more likely to have affairs, cheat, and be promiscuous. Again I speak from experience.

Agreed. promiscuity and adulterous acts are not specific to gender at all. Both genders have those that commit adultery. Dunno the numbers but really does it matter? Cheating has to do with the person and their level of commitment to the one they are with, not sure how that would apply differently per gender?