[rolan86]

So I finally met someone on okcupid who I really like. And as for guys, I'm sure they can relate to this. Maybe one out of a hundred girls will actually respond to you, or be up for messaging back and forth. But I met a really cool girl who I think actually really likes me. Like she gave me her number and told her to text her, and now we text on a daily basis! She lives in another country but will be going to school where I am in the fall, and as far as I can tell logistically, I can see this working out. I am just a little confused and unsure though, I mean, is it a good idea to pursue a relationship with someone you met online? I just keep thinking about like what would I say when people ask how we met? It just feels like relationships should have quirky and charming stories of how you first meant, instead of just on some online dating site. But I'm not trying to limit myself here and throw away an opportunity to meet a girl I really like. Honestly I don't even care if it's online or not, for the past couple weeks I have been incredibly happy having someone to talk to who and text, and just feel wanted. It's an amazing feeling. I just am wondering how realistic this all actually is and if these things can actually work out, or if the whole "met her online" thing will ultimately prove to be too hard to deal with.

[Elektra_]

hi. from my experience im done with online. men just want sex in those kind of sites. btw i did meet someone i liked but he wasnt anything like online. it was real disappointment. try to talk more on the phone, ull get a better idea of who she is. and dont take too longto meeting her in person. tc

[bagels300]

Hey I know some people who got married after meeting on dating websites! These days there is less and less stigma involved with it I think.

To an extent I agree with Elektra, when I tried it I had hundreds of messages within days, but only a few of those people had actually read my profile or had anything in common with me. I get the feeling some men letter bomb as many women as possible in the hopes of getting a few replies for sex.

It's a very different experience for women, for men who are serious about meeting somebody they can have a relationship with, you at least know that the fewer messages you get will be of good quality from people who are genuinely into you. It's nice to hear you've met somebody you have something in common with.

Just follow it where it leads! The sooner you start speaking with her over the phone or meeting up in person, the sooner you can shed the whole 'online dating' thing.

[healingme4me]

These days, it's not that unusual to meet someone, from on-line, dating site or not.

Hope all goes well, once you actually meet, and ensure the in person compatibility is there, along with chemistry.

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[rolan86]

I gotta say though, I don't really believe the whole men just want sex on dating sites thing. There are definitely guys who will go out of there way to read someone's entire profile and write a well thought-out message. But likely enough those messages get ignored too. So I believe a lot of it really just is based on looks coming from both sides. I would love to meet her, but she won't get here till the summer. I really don't see myself meeting anyone in person in the mean time, mainly because I have acute social anxiety. But as for now, yeah I am just going to try maybe calling her or skyping with her.

[ptangptang]

There's no stigma these days over meeting someone online. Jeez we do everything else online. It's just another and possibly better way to meet people than hanging round bars. Ok i'm not your age (i'm 57 and my lady is 58) and we met on okcupid about 3 months ago. Do you watch 'Catfish'? Online dating can be as good or bad as you make it. One lady on there said she had had an online love affair for 10 ( count 'em TEN BIG ONES) years without seeing the other person and thought it was time to meet. DOH!!!! YEAH!!!
Me and my lady have been messaging, emailing, phoning, skyping she even writes to me ( which is lovely). And she is in another country ( She is in Scotland and i'm in England.) In a couple of months she is coming down and moving in with me. ( 10 YEARS??? No sister , go sister, Too slow sister, get wid da flow sister.hehe)
Can't really see what you are worried about. Sure lots of guys on dating sites are aholes. So are women. But thats true irl too. Sure guys want sex . Girls want sex too.You just have to sort out the wheat from the chaff. Oh and girls don't be so picky waiting for Brad Pitt. He ain't on okcupid. Fred Flintstone is a lovely genuine guy who you could have a lot of fun with. OK so skype, phone , email do whatever ( we even communicate by ESP) and i wish you love and happiness when you meet.
love and peace xx

[ptangptang]

Oh and if someone said to me,'How did you meet'. Er online stupid. Sounds better than. 'In a bar, We were both drunk and i was so horny i was humping the slot machine ( ooh that'd work) and she was dancing on the table waving her knickers in the air. Actually that sounds kinda fun Darling lets go down the pub. I intend getting old disgracefully. Leave the quirky and charming to the rom coms. We live in the real world.

[Grey Matter]

^
lol perfect

My life partner and I both were introduced to each other online by another friend (to be fair we did go to the same school). Now she's stuck living with me and my awful cooking. (Her cooking is worse).

But seriously, it's honestly not a big deal. And if someone has something to say about that, tell them they don't have to go the route of meeting someone online. It's all good.

[justbeingme80]

I wouldn't mind meeting someone online, but most of the messages I get from guys are pushy (like wanting my phone number after the first message that says "hi"). I've given up on okcupid and am going to try a paid site. I had too many crazy people contact me. One said how beautiful I was and when I told him I couldn't chat anymore and go to bed, he went on a tirade about how ugly I was, how I should take him because I wouldn't find anyone else because I was so ugly. And even worse things...Yikes! Another guy I met seemed nice and we were texting a lot and had a few dates, but the signs were there that he wasn't telling me the truth and I think he was married.

It can be good, just be careful. I'm going to try a paid site in hopes some of these crazy people won't be on them, or wanting to spend the money.

[Grey Matter]

^^
Jeez! And men call women drama queens!

[rolan86]

Men can very much so be drama queens, we are overly sensitive and can get paranoid and worrisome when we don't get a text or response back. But I can totally see how those one-liner messages from guys can be offensive and annoying. Still though, just because a guy will write an actual well thought out message does NOT mean they will get a reply. Girls will as well simply ignore a guy because they don't think he's attractive or cool. But as for the stigma, yeah ok, I can see that, there being no stigma anymore. And thanks for relating it to bars, I suppose I hadn't really thought about that. Would I really want to meet a girl drunk at a bar? I have often been tempted to pursue that whole road (I am in college, early 20s) of just hanging around bars trying to meet girls, or even just going to parties to meet girls. It just feels so weird to me (not judging, just really isn't something I feel describes me). So I guess yeah, nothing wrong with just saying we met online, right? And yes I totally know the whole cat fish deal. I haven't been catfished but have definitely found people in real life to look a lot different than they do in their pictures online.

[StuckinRut]

I think this is a really great question. I've used online dating quite a lot in the past. Somehow I tended largely to attract dishonest people. I've been thinking a lot about this recently, as it happens. I'm wondering why my experience was bad. Is it that there is something wrong with online dating, or with my approach? Probably it is a combination of both. I totally agree with ptangptang meeting someone in a bar when you are both drunk is not a better story to be able to relay to people. Actually, when you think about it online dating should be a far more reliable way to meet someone that you are truly compatible with since you can perform searches based on interests/personality and so on. I would just advise you to listen to your instincts. If something doesn't seem/sound right then don't be afraid to ask questions.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by ptangptang

Oh and if someone said to me,'How did you meet'. Er online stupid. Sounds better than. 'In a bar, We were both drunk and i was so horny i was humping the slot machine ( ooh that'd work) and she was dancing on the table waving her knickers in the air. Actually that sounds kinda fun Darling lets go down the pub. I intend getting old disgracefully. Leave the quirky and charming to the rom coms. We live in the real world.

Omg, so exes lawyer, makes exes being upset with me, over going to meet someone I met online, with a toned emphasis on, online, like a big deal. I'm sitting in the back, people start turning around looking for me. Omg...got some smiles it's not really all that taboo these days...i swear it isn't. Of course, how'd we meet? Er, um, in an online forum discussions of all kinds of things and musical interests, too....(geesh....it certainly was a chance encounter)

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