mind mashed

Ok heres my story, my other half doesn't and has never given me much affection, I knew he was like that from the star. But after 7 years of barley being told that he even loves you takes its toll. Because of this feeling. I have became more and more jealous of him speaking to other fields, I stopped him talking to an ex, which he said was the love of his life and he was txting behind my back
The only reason I found out I'd because I checked his phone and caught him twice. Which triggered the trust issue. I have sipped him being in bangs with women as I think why should he spend his spare time with other women and not the one he supposed to love. And recently on Xbox live a girl he talks to split up with her partner, and she is talking to him every night without fail. She sent him a pm with kisses on it, which I flipped out about it. And for the past two months I have developed this inane jealousy every time he talks to her. I mean it gets to the point where u am shaking with rage, I am aggressive and shout a lot. I am trying to tell him how I feel and all I get is sort your own stuff out. He doesn't care and is at the point of leaving. I am finding it hard to trust him. He secretly records arguments we have to use against me if we split up and I cause problems for him. I'm so lost and confused. I don't even know how to talk to him anymore and I am really struggling shutting my brain off from the crazy :-(

So sorry to read, you've been going through all of this.

I strongly believe that trust in relationships goes beyond jealous reasons. For instance, your need for affection and affirmations, is left unfulfilled. In turn, self esteem takes the first fall. Then, while trying to sort out, why one feels so cruddy in the relationship, lack of trust grows.
If a relationship isn't leaving one feeling good about themselves, it grows unhealthy. Then it becomes a viscous struggle.
Though your own behaviour might not display actions that are loving and trusting, checking the phone and messages, is an example. His inability to meet halfway, also develops his own unhealthy behavior, recording you for a later time? Where he'd take that recording, is the indicator of where struggling lies.
I get, his point of refusing to give up a friendship, slippery slope, leads to feeling oppressed, at the same time, beyond just stating nothing is going on, your needs being unmet isn't being addressed by him, in a mature manner. No compromise mentioned.

How are things, today?

I just noticed, this was posted in March, sometimes, with the moderation of new posters, this may have posted and bumped below a slew of other threads, is my impression of what appears a minor technical glitch?

Thinking of you, with concern. Sending ((((gentle hugs))))