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#1
Apr 12, 2014, 08:43 PM
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Does anyone have any general advice on how to handle this better?
He has a routine, a psychiatrist, we have a spiritual support, he eats well, takes supplements and pretty much everything else you can think of. Its just he is trying to get work right now. He is a contractor and its not going very well. Also my Father died recently. It seems that our general support system/methods are working like they normally do. Thanks for taking the time to write a response and read this. |
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#2
Apr 12, 2014, 11:55 PM
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I'm bi polar. I appreciate if my lovers can tell me when I am being irrational in a polite, constructive way and if they are willing to communicate with me instead of giving up on me.
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Bipolar I, Panic, GAD, Chronic Insomni OCD and Agoraphobic tendencies Possible Borderline Personality Disorder Meds: Lamatical |
 Gauri1008
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#3
Apr 13, 2014, 01:22 PM
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Thanks Henrydavidtherobot
 I try to do that. I try not to have emotional buttons to press from his behavior if that makes sense (I try not to react to his reactions). I try to be loving because I know anger/impatience just escalates the situation.
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#4
Apr 13, 2014, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
| Gauri1008
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#5
Apr 13, 2014, 07:08 PM
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OK if I read this right, Ill answer the best way I can.
I myself am bi-polar and most of my family is to. The fact that he is having a hard time dealing with things, even while doing everything he can. You might want to actually sit down with him and talk. Or just to even ask how his day was. Just something that way he knows your still there. How To Stop Stress In Natural Ways |
| Gauri1008
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#6
Apr 14, 2014, 09:36 AM
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I was married to someone bi-polar, it seemed we just couldn't get along. No matter what I did he always was against me. I tried to be there for him, but he just wouldn't let me. We ended up in divorce. Im sorry to say, in the end its better off we weren't together. That's not the case for all, but that's my experience with someone with bi-polar.
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| Gauri1008
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#7
Apr 14, 2014, 09:50 AM
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I would not make "excuses" for him, just because he is having a hard time finding a job. There is no excuse for poor behavior? Being all supportive and understanding all the time is negating the truth; you are worried too and could use some support yourself! That is what marriage is about for me, being there together. If my husband were to suddenly be totally supportive, etc. and not "himself" with his own problems and ups and downs, I would feel like he was being condescending and "humoring" me and that would put me in a worse mood?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| Gauri1008
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#8
Apr 14, 2014, 05:22 PM
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I'm confused with original post
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#9
Apr 14, 2014, 07:12 PM
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Thank you for the replies! I am really thinking about what everyone has said.
Its true that the situation is beyond my control. No matter what I do we do not seem to get along. I guess that is the nature of it. I am grieving for my Dad still at times, and I am concerned about his work but I feel because he has bi-polar things that are usually easy for people are hard for him and that stresses me out. I am trying to accept that he is where he is. Hes never really been stable so Im not even sure if its an option that he will be stable or if this is just how it is going to be. I really supported him through a 4 year depression and many manic episodes but I need a relationship where the other person can be supportive as well and Im not sure that is ever going to happen! |
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#10
Apr 14, 2014, 07:29 PM
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He's a psychiatrist, does he know how you feel. I could be wrong but being bi-polar does not mean you are insensitive to others feelings. It sounds like you want out. If that's what you want then you need to figure that out. You both should have a decent life. Do not stay if you do not want him..maybe someone else will except him as is. Maybe you need someone more stable - he may never be. If he is not open to working on the marriage, your needs and to understand that you are unhappy - then you decide what to do. I'm sure you care for him and I'm sure it's difficult for you. But do not sacrifice on daily basis - I would like to think he would not want that either.
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
| Gauri1008
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#11
Apr 15, 2014, 10:02 AM
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Thanks brainhi! I am working on accepting him as he is. Im unclear about what I want, because Im unclear about what the situation will be because of all of the unusual stressful factors on top of the situation. Im trying to get a feel of how it will be with him. Im doing my best to see the reality of the situation and see what adjustments need to be made to make everything harmonious, or if that is even possible! I dont want to make any major decisions right now, just to keep working on it and see how things naturally unfold.
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#12
Apr 15, 2014, 06:16 PM
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Quote:
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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