Being ignored - could really use some help.

My ex and I broke up in December, 2012 and have had no contact since then (I'd send him the random email or text but never got - or expected - an answer except once in June 2013 when he told me he had a new girlfriend). Well, I sent one of those random "hope you're doing well" texts at the end of March and actually got a reply. He'd broken up with his girlfriend a few weeks prior (he'd told me he wouldn't talk to me while he was with her which I respected) and so we began talking every day and even hung out a few times.

Well three days after we last hung out (April 22nd), he suddenly stopped speaking to me. Since then, he would sporadically reply but definitely nothing consistent and definitely not every day like he used to. I will admit I over-did it with texting him but mostly just asking if he was ok (I had a friend die in a car accident on their way home from dropping me off at my house and I don't do well with people not responding - he knows this).

One of his excuses was his phone was crap and since then he's gotten a new one. However, he either changed his number OR completely blocked my number! Which he didn't even do when we broke up. He's never done this before and I've literally found myself in the same black hole I was in right before I tried to kill myself for the 2nd time 3 years ago.

This silent treatment and blocking me and ignoring me is literally out of nowhere. We didn't have an argument or a fight or a disagreement. He's not seeing anyone (and if he was, why not tell me like he did last time?). The last "normal" text I got from him was a winking smiley face and how he was about to go home after getting off work. The blocking me or changing his number thing is especially hurtful considering he didn't do that when we broke up nor did he do that to his most recent ex who broke into his apartment and broke some of his stuff.

I've sent him a few emails but got no replies. He's read my messages on Facebook but nothing there, either. I'm doing my best to NOT message him in the hopes that he just needs some space (he did tell me life was stressful at the moment but still..) but the fact that it's been almost a month of this with no explanation is literally killing me.

I cry at least three times a day - broken down, on the floor, sobbing. I'd rather someone tell me to "eff off" than ignore me like this.. and I've NEVER had anyone block my number before. I don't have any friends and since I'm on disability, I don't have a job either to help pass the time. The fact that this could be the last memories we have of each other is also very hard for me to try and accept.

Like I said, my hope is that he just needs space and this will resolve itself somehow but it's hard for me to really be hopeful about anything anymore. It's like every time something good happens, it's just stolen from me and leaves me in an even worse place than before.

I can't accept the fact that I waited a year and a half and this is how it ends. I just can't do it. It's been extremely hard for me to not hurt myself or just give up entirely because this really just feels like the last straw for me in a series of awful events that makes me just not want to be here anymore.

Well, ... I feel like crap. I think I may have put someone through something akin to that, albeit in entirely different circumstances. >.< Anywho, a month is quite some time, ... definitely not worth doing anything crazy, over this. It sounds like he is ignoring you, but there is probably a reason for it, ... the way I see it, it could be:

1. Is a giant "douche" and love to string people along then ignore them for a month.

2. Is involved with someone else and doesn't quite know how to handle things with you, or is involved with someone else and knows he needs to take a step back from you.

3. Doesn't understand his feelings, if existent, for you, and has taken a breather. (not like he can just say "Hey, I'm falling for you again, ... so to deal with that, I'm gonna go have a manly cool-off period to get my crap together")

4. He's genuinely really busy, ... I kinda don't buy this one, mostly due to the FB bit, ... and it being an entire month.

It could just be that you wanted it all to work so badly, that you read too much into things, ... got a little bit too textytextymessagymessagy and kinda scared him off a bit, ... if that's the case, take a step back and give him that space. Problem is, without knowing, ... it's hard to know how to react. >.<

Tricky sitch. If it were me, I'd just leave him to it, ... I'd just assume he obviously doesn't want to know. His loss! Maybe you'll get an answer or a reason, eventually.

I can honestly say, ... if I got in touch with one of my exes and started talking every day, like that, for ages, ... there's no way I'd just stop for an entire month, without saying anything, unless I had a pretty good reason.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

PS
What happened last, between you two? Like, the day you last hung out or something. Might be a clue in there as to why you've not heard from him.

what i have to say is probably not what your going to want to hear and i am sorry for it. but the truth is you should break away from this person completely and move on with your life. i have been where you are with being broken up with over " wanting space". my situation was different in the fact that my guy did need space and he came back pretty quickly. i too was devastated and crying and depressed.
but your situation differs because in fact he's been gone for a year and half, and has even had another gf's in the process. he doesn't want to be with you, you don't block people and ignore them when you want them in your life.
it sounds like he is toying with you, he knows you want him back and can get an ego boost when he talks to you , then he can drop you without a second thought and not think anything of it since your not together. the fact its been happening for a over a year is concerning, at some point your going to have to realize he's not coming back and he's using you. you need to flip the switch instead of giving him the attention he wants, ignore and block him. remove him form your life completely. your better off without this guy.
i do get your feelings of sadness and that you want him but its been a too long. in my case it was only a month we weren't together. and he still told me everything he was doing and wanted to see me and know what i was doing. this is not the case for your guy. he's playing you and your letting him. again im sorry if this sounds harsh, but from what you described above he's being worse to you, and there's plenty of people in the world who im sure would love to get to know you. i hope you get feeling better

I hope you have someone, like a therapist, to sort through this with. It seems like your hope in living life, gives this man all the power as your final straw. He's just a man, not savior.

Breakups are rarely easy. Being just friends, after, that is not oft simple. And, if he feels the two of you, needn't be friends,,whilst he's involved with someone, speaks volumes to the level of emotional involvement between the two of you.

No wonder, this is so painful.

How can you move forward, without pining for this one in particular?



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I disagreed with ace333 at first, but after some thought, I realised I was just taking it personally, focusing on my past, ... but actually, I'm leaning more towards what ace333 said: ditching him and moving on. Things aren't looking good on his side. My only defense, in a nut-shell, was that we're not all out to play and use, ... some of us do simply make stupid mistakes. I'm trying not to be cynical, ...

Ooo, you'd be surprised. I've actually done just that and still wanted them in my life, ... just, ... wasn't really able to deal with it. (would sound less weird if you knew the back-story)

Ditto that.

[quote=Zwangsstörung;3757391]I disagreed with ace333 at first, but after some thought, I realised I was just taking it personally, focusing on my past, ... but actually, I'm leaning more towards what ace333 said: ditching him and moving on. Things aren't looking good on his side. My only defense, in a nut-shell, was that we're not all out to play and use, ... some of us do simply make stupid mistakes. I'm trying not to be cynical, ...

don't get me wrong im not saying that it's completely impossible for something to happen between them now or in the future. but the fact that its been so long and other gf's are/have been involved makes me think that chances are very low...but its not impossible. but for the time being i feel like this person would really benifit from blocking this person out of thier life for the time being, to show the guy really what they are missing and that she doesn't need them to be happy or live. she has her own life to live with or without this person

Zwangsstörung - Last time we hung out we had sushi and then watched Hannibal (the TV show). We texted as usual for three days after that. The last text I got from him before this began was a smiling winkey face and how he was on his way home after work.

He's never been the cheating type and he's always been a really nice guy. But I guess a lot can change in 1.5 years..

ace333 - Well I've had a boyfriend and have dated, too, since we broke up. The hard part is that I -had- moved on for the most part but was still kind've hopeful. In a way that if I didn't ever see him again, I was ok with that but if we did reconnect, it'd be awesome. So the fact that we saw each other again and things were great and then this happened.. it's so incredibly painful.

healingme4me - I'm still trying to find a therapist that accepts Medicare. My old therapist I had when I still had insurance doesn't. I have no friends, no one to talk to which is why I've turned to coming online because at least this is SOMEthing. The thing is that I would react the same way, tho maybe not as extreme, if he had been anyone else. I can't stand being ignored and someone acting as if I don't exist because a lot of the time I wonder if anyone would miss me and the fact that someone is basically telling me that no, they wouldn't miss me is confirming the fact that I'd be better off just gone.

It'd be different if he had just told me to "eff off". Or told me ANYthing. Then I could deal with things. But to just.. have everything fine and this happen.. it's just too much. It's just another thing to add to the pile of reasons I just DON'T want to be here anymore. I can't handle these things happening to me anymore. I literally have NOTHING.