[MotownJohnny]

Brought it up to embarrass you or worse?

Just wondering, because I could so see that happening in my family. Which is a shame. But, families do weird things under certain circumstances.

[pegasus]

Yep! Family can be horrible.

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by MotownJohnny

Brought it up to embarrass you or worse?

Just wondering, because I could so see that happening in my family. Which is a shame. But, families do weird things under certain circumstances.

Yes...bf's and previous husbands. When you think you're sharing and wanting them to understand, what they are doing is filing the information away for later use in an argument. Every. Damn. Time.

I've gotten much better at hiding stuff like that now. It's necessary. I don't have to tell them all of my misshapen, haphazard thoughts...I don't have to admit to fears or shame or real/imagined dismissals. I have to do those things with my T but not with them. Not anymore. I can't take THAT added hurt among all the others.

[atomicc]

Yes. In anger, both my parents have used my seeing a therapist and my diagnosis as a reason why I am inferior. Exes as well have used my "craziness" against me many times. It's a shame. :/

Originally Posted by waiting4

Yes...bf's and previous husbands. When you think you're sharing and wanting them to understand, what they are doing is filing the information away for later use in an argument. Every. Damn. Time.

I've gotten much better at hiding stuff like that now. It's necessary. I don't have to tell them all of my misshapen, haphazard thoughts...I don't have to admit to fears or shame or real/imagined dismissals. I have to do those things with my T but not with them. Not anymore. I can't take THAT added hurt among all the others.

While I understand your approach, I think it's less than ideal. If you're with someone you cannot share your most intimate feelings and thoughts you should not be with them. If you feel the need to hide such information with them then they are not someone you should even consider being intimate with because in my mind, that's a necessary expectation.

I have dealt with people that do that - exes. It does not make me want to hide myself from anyone, but instead makes me convinced that I need to keep looking for that right person I can actually trust fully...

yes..

I have been called names and belittled because of my mental illnesses.

The mental abuse is the worst. The men I date use my own negative self blaming eager to please mind to get what they want and make me feel crazy when I am complaining about an issue.

Weaknesses are something I am good at hiding from strangers but impossible to hide from partners/close friends.

Sometimes I wish I never told my current boyfriend about my issues.

[healingme4me]

Well, mainly just my ex husband. But, it transcends the fact I am the one seeing a counselor and psychiatrist. As a matter of fact, it's perhaps tied into why he's in court ordered anger management.

Otherwise, no one else in my life belittles me.
(Disclaimer, at least not to my face. And i also don't really talk about my health issues, physical or mental)
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[Trippin2.0]

No, thankfully I don't associate with anybody that stoops so low. Everybody knows about my bipolar, its not a secret, and thank God because I wouldn't be able to live like that at all.

Breaks my heart to read these posts I by no means have a perfect family, they're pretty twisted and frucked up actually, but atleast they're not the ammo collecting kind.

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

While I understand your approach, I think it's less than ideal. If you're with someone you cannot share your most intimate feelings and thoughts you should not be with them. If you feel the need to hide such information with them then they are not someone you should even consider being intimate with because in my mind, that's a necessary expectation.

I have dealt with people that do that - exes. It does not make me want to hide myself from anyone, but instead makes me convinced that I need to keep looking for that right person I can actually trust fully...

I appreciate that, but....there are only so many times you can accept a kick you knew was coming because you provided the target. I agree, a person has to be able to totally trust someone they love. And I've tried. And I've always, always gotten lost.

Not that this 'person' isn't 'somewhere out there' for me to find...maybe. I just don't know if I can manage to really accept they aren't just practicing for the final kick when they've had enough.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughtful reply.

Originally Posted by waiting4

I appreciate that, but....there are only so many times you can accept a kick you knew was coming because you provided the target. I agree, a person has to be able to totally trust someone they love. And I've tried. And I've always, always gotten lost.

Not that this 'person' isn't 'somewhere out there' for me to find...maybe. I just don't know if I can manage to really accept they aren't just practicing for the final kick when they've had enough.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughtful reply.

and I don't mean to imply that you should ever endure the kicks that come but dump anyone abusive enough to do that. Move on... Don't trust anyone until you're sure.. but even then, of course it's a risk. Trust me, there are plenty of people that aren't this way out there.

I was with a partner that used my issues against me, even though, of course as she is human too, she had her flaws. She became very overweight in our time together and she cannot once recall my ever using that against her or her own mental health issues. I just won't do it.

[JadeAmethyst]

It's the truth, in my life, both family and friends have used it almost too often to admit. I just couldn't accept that it really is/was happening and spent a lifetime and a half trying to deny it to myself. Guess I am wiser today, a little late, but.....