Jared (boyfriend) is in the hospital for Friday night. (drunken)

I havent seen him for a week, I tell him to come over, but he goes boarding instead...but tonight something bad happened. He was out with Jeff and Josh, and around 6:30 jeff calls and says Jared is in the hospital because:

-he goes to jeffs house drunk
-they go on a walk
-jared is still drunk, so jeff takes him home and gives him cofee and soda to calm down
-they go to dinner at rubys
-jared is totally wasted lying on the ground outside
-rubys calls the police
-police tell jeff and josh to go home, and police take jared
-jared goes to the hospital, he will be there over night

Jeff also told me JAred got a new bong, and jared has been telling me he was not smoking, that he is sober and clean, because we are keeping eachother clean. but i dunno if hes smoked or not. al i know is about tongiht. hes in the hospital now and is being transfered to a different one, and ill be vsiting him tonight as soon as i can. also, i have these big *** hoochie mama nails on and i can barley type. this is the worrst thing that cud have happened. i dont even know wut im gunna tell jared. he needs x rays, and his face may be broken from falling. pluus he has a bad arm injury. great. wtf do i do now?

Boy, this guy sounds charming. Send him to AA or some other rehab place.--Suzy

Dear Emily -- I can remember how wild the emotions of my youth were, and the people I hung out with. I thought they were exciting and artistic and creative and wonderful. But most of them were really lost souls and bums.

I suspect that you cannot imagine a world without Jared. You have intense feelings for him. You see only the good in him.

Re-orienting our emotions and our world view of ourselves and others takes a great deal of work on the self. Please please save yourself. Find the support you need to detach yourself from this situation. You will find this support at sliding scale counseling services run by your local county and United Way agencies, at churches, and at school, if you attend one. You will think some of these people are nuts in what they say, that they don't see the truth about life and Jared as you do. You will have to struggle to remain open to their suggestions.

You cannot save Jared. You can only save yourself. You are tying yourself up in emotional knots over someone who is not willing to take the brave steps that you are.

Perhaps these are words that you do not like to hear. I am sorry if they are. I am glad that person after person continued to speak them to me when I did not like what I was hearing, until I woke up.

Best wishes and prayers.

I believe in being straight up with ppl.......move on!

amen!

Emily, Jared is not your responsibility. If he's 18+, he is his own responsibility. The decisions are all his. You have no legal or moral standing.

MOVE ON! Take care of YOU!

Hes home today, we went to our friends funeral, he feels horrible, and im going to keep it that way until he proves himself to me. my parents really dont want me seeing him, and since im not 18 yet, what they say, goes. i feel horrible. i have absolutly no friends since im not in school, and i live in the hills, far away from everything. my parents always want me home, and jared doesnt like comming over. he really is a great person, you guys only hear the bad things about him. i love him, and he tells me every day that he doesnt want to loose me, but we all know and i told him, that hes starting to. i dont know what to do all day now. he was my life. he is my life. dont tell me to take care of myself, because i am. dont tell me to be possitive, because im trying. dont give me hugs or say keep ur chin up, cuz it doesnt help. i need jared. and nobodys gets that. nobody agrees, because they dont see things the way i do, nobody does, and nobody ever will. i love jared, and people need to accept that and LET me be with my BOYFRIEND.

sweetie when he becomes a man, and you become a woman, you will see the real world.
Right now you have puppy love
a real man doesn't need drugs or booze to be a man
we do understand more than you'll ever know, we have all been there done that, with age comes wisdom

angie is right. men don't have to have booze to be men. booze is very, very dangerous, as you know.

please be very careful.

well, im sorry to say i disagree with most of what you guys are saying. i hace found no help with anything, only anger since ive been here, so im not gunna be here anymore. bye.

I heard it said in a Narcotics Anonymous meeting once,

"The truth will set you free, but first it's going to %#@&#! you off."

I went through what you have been going through when I was your age, and it got so bad. I kept taking him back, and why were my friends so harsh on him, he LOVED me. He was going out and getting drunk and high with his friends, lying all the time and it progressed until he was beating me and stealing money out of our account. I almost went to jail for bad checks because although the money was in there when I wrote the checks, he was pulling it out with the ATM card without my knowledge to go party with his buddies. After he tried to choke me to death in a drunken rage I had to call my parents for money to leave with a box and a suitcase on the Greyhound and go three states away. I am so glad I did. I just hope that you getting pissed off here will be the beginning of the truth setting you free.

Peace
RF

Emily, I'm sorry that you feel we haven't cared here... sometimes truth is hard to take... support doesn't always mean being told what you want to hear.

However, I know we do understand your angst over not being with your bf.

PC is not for everyone, not everyone is ready for support. We try hard to help everyone fit in, but if you feel you need to move on to another site, then do what is best for you. Feel free to return though.

(((hugs)))

Hey there. I know you said you wouldn't post anymore, but hopefully you'll see this. I understand. Please feel free to PM me.

~Rayna

Hi Emily -- Like Sky and Raynadi, I am concerned that you feel unsupported.

I agree with what Sky has stated so well. I hope you find what you need, here or whever that happens for you.

Please take care of yourself.

I'm sorry you feel that way. You asked for advice, and they gave it. That is all I have to say.