So I am a stalker

Ok, firstly, we only had drunk sex once. The first time we had sex we were drunk and he got me pregnant. We slept more than 3 times. The other times we were both sober and used protection except the one time I was still pregnant. He might have his own feelings about the situation, but it does not justify him not caring. I aborted cause I had no choice. We were both irresponsible. But you must remember that my feelings are just as important as his. Especially since his feelings were to just walk away and ignore the situation he also put himself into. I did everything on my own. Did I mention he wanted to punch me in the stomach to avoid the costs of an abortion that he didn't even help me pay in the first place? He would rather hurt me than pay? What do you mean I don't respect him or his judgment with good reason? Do you mean that it's justifiable for me to not respect him or that it's justified for him to not care since I don't respect his feelings? I know I was irresponsible. I can't take back anything I did. If I could, I would. The only thing I can do is to better myself from the situation and to ask God for forgiveness. I just wish he cares. I guess it's too much to ask for some people to treat me properly and care a little more. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I can't help it.

Edit: Just to add, don't think I want money from him. Cause I don't. I couldn't care less about that. In fact. I don't even want it.

Im sorry your still stuck wanting him to act a certain way and show you he cares .. he is just not going to do that.... you cant force someone to take responsibilty or care ..

So what will you do ? Stay stuck emotionally waiting for him ? Or move on with your life , find a therapist to help you work through all the trauma that happened to you ?

This is your life how do you want to live it ?

I know I can't. I guess my angel is a part of me so that's why he doesn't care. He has shown me plenty of times that he doesn't respect me. I know if I move on he can't hurt me anymore. I'm learning to separate my angel from him cause he doesn't care. The only person who cried with me and hugged me was my father. I wish he could do the same. But he wont. I can't say I wish him the best. Cause I don't. But I can let go..

Then let go. You have no reason to stay attached to him - it doesn't sound like you had much of a real relationship beyond sex anyway. Your needs are important, but they don't override his, and unfortunately both of your needs are at odds with each other - the difference is that he's handling his needs on his own, and you're wanting him to deal with yours.

You deserve so much better, and you're preventing yourself from finding happiness again by staying stuck in this cycle. Your child will always be a part of you... but you can live a good life still, to make them proud of you and to show that you did make the right decision for yourself.