boyfriend wants me to take lie detector

This is bull ****.

I've been lied to several times in my life, I've been cheated on, and yes it did cause me severe trust issues, but I was not abusive!
If he's being abusive now, trust me, he would've been abusive even if you hadn't lied! He is mentally unstable and this was just something he could cling to. If it hadn't been this, it would've been something else. That's how an abuser's brain works. I've dealt with plenty in my life.

Why are you doing this to yourself?
The longer you wait, the more miserable you'll become.
He would be a terrible father for your children and you should not be that selfish to bring children into this world to have such a terrible parent either.

You need to find the strength to get out. This person is toxic.

You deserve better.

Do you believe, this is as good as it gets?

How badly were your previous boyfriends?

Im sorry you went ahead and took the test..

You deserve better and you know that.

Yikes! Me too ... not only for your suffering, butterflyflies, but also because I'm now too late with this post. So sorry ...
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Sorry my post was restricted to a Penn & Teller episode -- there are other issues here I didn't have time to address that night.

First off, I agree with everyone here about the abuse, control and trust issues that to my mind make it NECESSARY for you to leave, and make a polygraph exam moot:

Not just difficult -- IMPOSSIBLE. You've already put your soul on the line for his benefit, so the trust ball is now in HIS court; if he had any decency at all, your private confession would have been sufficient. To my mind, if my wife or I hide a nanny-cam or hire a detective or do any cloak-and-dagger work to catch the other cheating, our marriage is over at that point even if no cheating is done -- because of the breach of trust involved.

As duly noted by several other posters, it's not up to him. This smacks of control and domination -- and if he calls that "love," then just who's lying to who here???

Emotional abuse, pure and simple -- again, making a polygraph test moot.

Guess what? You can be completely honest and still fail the test! Besides the moral wrong of BF forcing you to face those consequences, pragmatically they could well push you into "false positives" (how ironic that term is when applied to a "truth-finding" device!) for lying. You could simply be feeling fear, embarrassment or anger at having been asked probing questions, and physiological responses to those emotions could easily make you appear dishonest -- in which case BF will feel entirely justified in his accusations and heap even more abuse upon you.
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On to new responses:



(Can anyone recommend me a good irony meter supplier? No sooner do I install one than it melts down ...)

If anyone wants to explore the abuses I alluded to earlier (e.g., "bluffing" questions to induce stress, the dreaded "post-test interrogation" in which the examiner tries to elicit a confession the content of which the polygraph should have been able to reveal on its own) in greater detail than P&T had time for in a half-hour show, see UMinn psychology professor David T. Lykken's book A Tremor in the Blood: Uses and Abuses of the Lie Detector (Plenum, 1998), Chapter 2, "Mr. Reader Has a Chance to Prove His Innocence."

^^^^^^

This. BIG-time.

See above. She already did her best to do so -- and WITHOUT a polygraph!

What were you suspected of, why were you expected to voluntarily seek ANY examiner, what kind of questions were you asked, and what makes you think a framed piece of paper on the wall bars an examiner from using the techniques noted above and in the book cited? (NOTE: We don't have polygraphs; we'll have to trust your honesty.)
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BF has a PROBLEM. To the dumpster with him -- now.

You have to be kidding.
I have never heard of anything like this. Why on earth don't you take the advice on here and leave? These people have been through the worst and back and they mostly give excellent advice.
It's really scary that you think more of your future than your present. Kids are no joke. Please don't even think about going there. Imagine the hell a child would feel with this guy.
I'm sorry to be so abrupt. I just can't deal with procrastination in the face of impending disaster.

If t he boyfriend is that distraught over his girlfriend lying then he should bail immediately. Not emotionally abuse her.

To the OP.

If he won't let you out of the relationship, as mentioned originally, i highly recommend one of these...

No woman should put up with the filthy language your 'boyfriend' called you. You deserve better than to put up with such horrible behavior.

i once paid a guy to leave a relationship we were in. seriously. paid him to move out i wanted it to end so badly. you can always find a way out. do you have friends to stay with? a couch to crash on? if he threatens you get a restraining order. if he then still bothers you he will be thrown in jail. if you have no where to go then try a local womens shelter.

who cares if you lied. he has zero right to treat you this way. i am sure he would not appreciate it if he was forced to do the same thing. he does not sound like he is a perfect example of a human and should not expect you to be either. be a strong woman and get the crap out. i have issues with my boyfriend wanting to record mw when we fight cause i am the crier and he says nothing to control the situation. that is abusive too. i made it clear that it he would never do it again or his phone would be broken. and he needs to go to therapy and couples therapy to learn to communicate or i am leaving.

you can always leave.

I think if you are right and has no misunderstanding then you should not afraid of taking lie detector test.