[frustrated67]

is anyone having this problem and what are some solutions i need to be touched and feel like a woman

[Travelinglady]

Hello, frustrated67, and welcome to Psych Central! My husband and I both have depression from time to time, so I understand.

How does he respond when you try to sit near to him, hug him, etc.? Does he react negatively? If not, then maybe you could at least get that from him.

But he might get upset if you push for sex. Alas, antidepressants often reduce sexual responses. Less libido, less ability to perform, less ability to have an orgasm. Just what depressives need to help them feel better! And, of course, not helpful to the spouse.

Is he getting treatment for his depression?

Maybe in the meantime you could ask him to hold you while you take care of your own needs. And hug a pillow, etc.

My thoughts, anyway. Let's see what other folks say.

[butterflyflies]

i'm having the same issue. i've been horribly depressed due to relationship problems. he's made horrid remarks about me and my body which have led me to the depression. i have explained to him that, as a woman, i need to feel love and sexy in order to get into it, so he hurriedly spits out a bunch of "compliments" to try to get me going. doesn't help. he gets frustrated. i don't enjoy him touching me, i get anxiety just thinking about having sex with him. i've tried to explain this to him, that i have no libido, no sex drive due to this depression, and i just get called a cold b**** and asked to fake it.
i haven't enjoyed sex in months, and i don't even know how long it's been since i've had an orgasm.
i wish i had an answer for you, or even some good advice. but if anything, i wish my boyfriend was more understanding, unselfish, and patient.
you're not alone in this department.

You're definitely not alone! My boyfriend's depression & anxiety issues have put an impenetrable [literally] obstacle in our sex life. Or even in other measures of affection, like cuddling or making out. I wish I knew what to suggest! I might be a much happier girl in that case.

[mre1976]

I can totally relate to this, from a guys point of view - my gf and I are both normal-looking, functional people, but my gf has serious self-image issues and depression, she can't initiate intimacy and 'fakes it' all the time. I'm just dying for genuine intimacy.. she's 25 and won't act like an adult.. I think she 'reverts' to this 'asexual' state because she is frightened of intimacy.. honestly this one has created a huge obstacle in my life.. my needs as a feeling adult aren't getting met.

[JackBlack]

I it's think that you might want to heLP yourself with regard to the depression. Just to be honest I hear a lot of justifying your choices and behaving as if there is nothing that can be done. In actuality there are man y things you might consider if your depression is effecting the quality of your relationship in this dramatic of a way. What we depressed sometimes forget is that out partners may not be depressed and so it is often times as hard on them. If your unable to enjoy some of these relationship activities then I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. Many people are forced to call things off for things that could have been improved by a frank concerted effort to work on ones health. Can you get to a therapist ? Low libidi can be a problem, but low libido and no loving mate would only add to the pain I would imagine.
God Bless,
Healing
JB