[Sammy]

Okay, so basically the story is this.

I am 20, i have been in a few relationships the past couple of years and they all ended badly.

Basically, i personally feel that sex is too emotional for me, if you see what i mean? I have to be really close to someone to make love to them. I made all my partners wait till i was ready, the first one only lasted a month then left me. The second 3 weeks and the third about 5 months.

I know it was probably unfair of me to make them wait, but i can't help my feelings, and casual sex just puts me off people, i have fell out with people at work who brag about sleeping with "3 different people last night" i just think that is plain wrong. Especially considering one of them is in a relationship. I have major trust issues, and seeing people do that just destroys my faith in humanity.

I don't know why it bothers me so much, but to me sex is so much more than just a bit of fun.

Am i wierd? Am i in the wrong for making people wait untill there is an emotional attachment with us if they want sex with me?

Thanks peeps.

[tellybox]

Ok, you are not weird. And that just came from an 18 year old teenage boy, who agrees with you. I'm the same way with relationships myself. My last girlfriend was ready to have sex after 4 months, but I wasn't comfortable until the 9th.

It will just come naturally, as I'm sure you know. And if girls make you feel bad for not having sex, they're not worth it friend. There are other fish in the sea, as they say. Fish who have NO problem waiting for the right time.

Stay true to yourself friend, you're not the only person who has those same morals.

nooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

sex is more than a recreational sport......once when working , i heard an employee brag about sleeping with a guy she didn't know, for a set of tires......a doctor turned around and said, "that's called whoring, isn't it?" needless to say, we didn't hear anything else about her "sexy" life........

[Rhapsody]

IMO - Sex is an emotional connection for both sexes..... it just the guys a little longer to realize this, but when they do - Watch out baby!!

I think this is why most females do not engage in casual sex as much as males may do in there yearly years.... IMO - I feel for most of us females it takes caring for the guy before you are willing to sleep with him, and then after we do sleep with him the attachment becomes greater.... some times this happens right after our first sexual encounter with him.

* * * * * *

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[howohsocliche]

It's how you feel, and you are perfectly entitled to it.

Those people have just as much of a right to sleep around and not be openly criticized for it as you have a right to not sleep around and also not be openly criticized for it.

It's your life, no one else's. You'll eventually find someone who agree's with you. Finding the right person isn't easy for anyone, man.

[Wants2Fly]

Sex as sport worked for me when I was young, stoned, and drunk, and part of a culture that simply was that way.

I kinda wish it still did, but now that I am old, clean and sober, it doesn't.

it was a sport for most of us back then......then we grew up.......AIDS came along and joined all of the other STDS that are so common today.

[Smilie]

Gosh! What I would have done to experience a guy like you when I was in my early 20's.Even in my generation I was led to believe that a kind of man like you was rare to find. It wasn't until I was in my late 30's did I experience a man who was younger than me. But also shared my new found or my reclaimed belief that I did not have to settle for. I finally found a man who wanted more in a relationship then just a fly by night fling.Because we waited until I was ready my first sexual experience with him ; I always looked back at it with good warm feelings of emotions and excitement. And we had made an emotional connection before our fist time together all we did by adding sex to the equation was deepen that connection.IMO actions speak louder than words and when a man is tender in bed this is an action of respect for himself as well as his partner.

And they say that the first sexual experience is laying down the foundation of your relationship.

When you keep staying true to yourself in the relationship it is giving you the assurance that you are staying healthy in that relationship.

I think that "Your a rare gem, its just that the other rare gem has not found you yet."

Smilie

[Raynaadi]

I agree.....Sammy you definetly have a rare view as far as the men I've known in my lifetime. Kudos!

[Sammy]

Thanks for all the replies, it's good to know that i'm not a total looser, only a bit of one, lol.

Thanks all for taking the time to reply, i appreciate it very much.

Take Care.
Sam.

[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple">No i don't think your weird at all..... In fact I wish I had your mind set, because for me sex has no emotional attaches to it all .... and that really upsets my husband... just as I dont understand his feelings towards sex as being a bonding expeirence physically and emotionally he does not understand my veiw that it is just an enjoyable activity that hs nothing to do with bonding or emotion...

Stay true to how you feel.... Don't give in to what you feel isn't right for you.... I know there are others out there that feel the same way as you do regarding emotional attachment and initmacy.... [

Take care/color]

[Mikey]

no! As a guy that feels the same, I can say that I too suffer from the `free sex society` where they stick it up to your face ewery minute, how fun it is to have sex with straingers...
I´ve tried it , and just get more bad than good feelings from it.

I really wouldn´t care for a girl that´s been with too many guys she didn´t know.
The worst part is that it seems like people are proud of it too??
I don´t get it...
I definately think sex is supposed to be with someone you know and feel for, so keep your head up!
I wish there were more people like you!

tc, Mikey

[strawberrybanana]

Oh my gosh, Sammy, I wish I could meet more men like you! I am COMPLETELY the same way- I'm not the type of gal to have a one night stand, that's for sure. I'm so glad to hear someone else have the same viewpoints, because so many people have been driven away by the fact that I need emotional connection before I can do the physical thing. It is NOT unfair of you to make them wait. Don't waste your time with anyone who gives you grief for it.

Plus, STDs are scary, and casual sex really increases your chances of that.