need advice

I have fallen out of love with my 17 year sole mate and mother of my 2 kids. No sex life, nothing in common anymore, puts me down around complete strangers (always done this), her work is more important than me or kids, bad mother, sleeps all the time, lazy.
I still care about her a lot but its more out of a father figure / feel sorry for her and really do not want to see her sad.

I am a good father and do almost all the housework. Her work does not give her the the amount of time off thet I get which has led to me and the kids taking vacations the last 3 years without her. When she is off work we just sit at the house she does not want to go anywhere. I take the kida and go wIthout, the kids need a life. She had a really crappy childhood growing up not knowing her mother until she was 14. Thought it would not affect her as an adult/ parent, now I am truly wondering? I am very affectionate and love to cuddle, she just pulls away and never initiates any sex or even hold hands. If I dont start it it wont happen. I am always calling her sexy, beautiful and gorgeous. I never get a complement of any sorts in return or spontanious. Having kids makes it tough. I want to just get in the car and leave. She can have the house and all inside I just do not want my kids going through a divorce and definently do not want to lose my kids. I am only with her at this point because of them.

Is therapy an option? Does she know how bad you feel?

Staying there for the kids is an understandable choice. I'm glad you put them first. Maybe you need to stop saying sweet things to her that she doesn't respond to anyway. Instead, try telling her that she is failing in her family duties. I doubt that will change her. But it might get her thinking a bit.

Just cause she had a lousy childhood is no reason for her to do not want better for her own kids. Try expecting something of her. Start small. State an expectation, and don't be too pleasant if she makes no move to meet it.