End of my rope

I just can't take it anymore. My relationship is basically shot. But I don't have anywhere to go. No friends or family to live with. Housing assistance has just now started taking applications after being shut down for ten months, and the waiting list is two years long. A shelter wouldn't allow me to keep my dogs (they're really the only ones who keep me going). If I leave, I'll be living out of my car. I don't know what to do. I don't even want to look at my boyfriend again, much less live with him. Please help. Any advice is welcome.

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I dont know all the details of what you are going through, but I do know what its like to be stuck in a bad relationship.

Hang in there.

Have you looked into renting a room? I know it will harder to find one due to your pets .. Maybe thats an option.

I hope your able to find a way to move out

There are a lot of shelters around that will take your pets and help you in finding a place. Some of these places will also give you first and last months rents.

Best of luck to you

Unfortunately, I haven't heard of these shelters in Albuquerque. I will check into it though. Thank you.

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Ugh. None of the women/family shelters accept pets. Getting rid of my dogs is not an option for me. :-(

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So you are willing to sacrifice yourself to keep your dogs?


What good will you be to them if you continue down this path?


Are you willing and able to wait this out until you have money or until they die of old age?


I'm sorry, while I love my cat to death I fail to see your logic and rationality right now.


Have you looked into finding a foster family for them until you have a place of your own?


Sorry if I sounded harsh, but as much as you love your furry babies, they're hindering you from making good, healthy decisions for yourself, and I feel it needs to be said.

No malice intended.

I have to say that I agree. You have to be willing to make some changes in order to get shelter. I am assuming you have no money,, no job and no income? How can you live?

Maybe you could find a place for housesitting or pet-sitting? Couchsurfing and travelling?

((hugz))

I would call around to see about pet foster care until you can get on your feet. But if you have kids, they have to come before pets. And you'd (and I'd) want my pets in a loving safe home if I could not provide one.
Talk over the priorities with a friend.
Hugs to you.

My kids have a place to stay (with their father), so I'm not choosing my dogs over my kids. If I go to a shelter, the kids will stay with their father anyway. I wouldn't mind rehoming one of my dogs, but I absolutely refuse to part with my Chihuahua, who is my emotional support animal. I've always been much closer to animals than people, and this is not something that I intend to change.

The problem with getting a place of my own is that, per my doctor, I can't work because of my illnesses (and I completely agree). I'm currently waiting for my disability hearing, but it's still several months away.

It's easy to give advice to a stranger when you don't know the whole situation. My therapist has even counseled me to stay where I am until my financial situation changes. It's just hard, and I come here for support. I don't think I have any options, and I feel trapped.

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I'm sorry that you feel trapped now, and for some months to come.

How might you make the situation more bearable, or perhaps less unbearable, in the meantime?

(((((gloamingone)))))

Thank you for the support!!! What I'm doing is trying to view my boyfriend more positively. He's a very good man, but our relationship just isn't working. So I'm focusing on trying to be a friend to him. It's making things a little easier, I guess.

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That sounds like a really constructive approach. What differences have you noticed since you started it?

Hang in there!

Thanks! Things have been a little easier. I'm more sad than panicky about it now, because he is a wonderful man. It's hard to sit here day after day trying not to think about the relationship.

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What bad things happen if you think about the relationship?

Hi, Bill. Sorry it's taken me so long to answer! If I think about the relationship, I get so sad and anxious. Right now I'm in bed crying because I've been thinking about it too much. I'm shaking from anxiety, too.

My therapist says it's "all or nothing" thinking or "black and white" thinking. We're going to work on it tomorrow in session.

Last night, my boyfriend broke an important promise to me, and there hasn't been time for us to talk about it. I don't know how to compartmentalize so I can get my mind off the situation. Thank god for my dogs, who are with me, snuggling and giving me kisses. I don't know what I'd do without them!

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absolutely refuse to part with my Chihuahua, who is my emotional support animal. If that is in writing then they can not refuse you because of the Chihuahua. this is the housing authorities rules on Emotional support dogs.