[Shadix]

In school I was socially awkward and got picked on and this led to me being very timid and not putting myself out there socially. Obviously no dating or even friendships with girls. In college I met some guy friends through my religious group and started hanging out with them. But still I was too timid and stupid to put myself out there and get involved in things where I can meet girls. I kept hanging out with that small group of friends and didn't really broaden my horizons like people do in college. I also did not think seriously about my career path and ended up doing premed like everyone else and failed at it. Now after spending a total of 6 years in college I am 26 and I have a biology/psychology degree with crappy GPA. I basically can't get a job in my field because of how damn selective everyone is and I am working at a crappy call center where you don't even need a college degree to work. And because of my very limited social circle, I have practically no social life. For about two years now I have been just going to work and coming home and getting on my laptop of playing video games, and just repeating the cycle.

I am so sick of this life. When I compare it to college life it feels like death. And with the crappy job it's like death and going to hell. I am wanting to find a new field and go back to school, but I just don't see any avenues for me to explore career new opportunities. Basically it seems the opportunity to do that is only offered to college kids and someone in my position is expected to just give it up and settle for whatever they can get. I looked into this career counseling thing where they do tests to determine what career is right for you and give you info about different career areas, but they charge over $800 for it!

I am also paralyzed with fear. I have an obsession with getting a chance to connect with girls I am attracted to, like guys around me have doing since high school. But I am going to be 27 in a few months and I feel like I am leaving that "peak attractiveness" phase and that soon many of the younger women I want to connect with will be off limits. I am powerless to make anything happen now because no cute girl wants a loser my age who works at a call center. But choosing another career path will likely take time and I am afraid that by the time I get to the point where I am in a good position careerwise, I will be in my 30s and most of the attractive young women I am interested in connecting with will be off limits. This fear is preventing me from doing anything because I can't seem to think seriously about what career path I want without worrying about the time frame.

Is there any way out of this? I literally feel like a person who asks for things and is repeatedly told no despite patiently accepting no for an answer time and time again. And the person saying no gives no justification for their answer, it is just as if they are doing it because they can. It is sick and sadistic and this is how people and society are.

[IceCreamKid]

The way I see it, the person telling you 'no' is you. If you need someone else to give you some direction, here is my offering: Get counseling to address your anxiety. It appears to be at the root of your difficulties.

When you and the counselor think you are ready to make some additional changes, look into careers. Your public library will be helpful. The internet can provide information. Don't pay for any career counseling until you have exhausted what you can do for free.

You've got the cart way before the horse with regard to women. It sounds like you have done considerable fantasizing about women. But an important reminder is any young, cute women in your desired age range will become an older woman with time. Are you planning to chase young chicks all your life? These sorts of expectations can also be explored with a counselor.

A man of good, healthy appearance and fine character and with a solid career path will never have trouble finding attractive women unless he is living where there is no woman!

Courage! I hope this helped

[Lemon Curd]

The prison is of your own making.
Check your inside coat pocket.
I am quite sure the key is there.
I double what IceCreamKid says.
There it is.

[Shadix]

Are you planning to chase young chicks all your life?

This is the kind of thing people generally seem to say in response to my interest in younger women. What these people overlook is that I HAVEN'T been chasing young women like young men typically do. I have been obseving them from afar while not knowing how to go about connecting with them. But people assume that because I am 26, I have already had "my turn" to chase young women and that now it is time to "grow up" and seek a meaningful long term relationship with someone within 2-3 years of my age.

I find it absolutely despicable when women 25+ who spent their college years having casual relationships with whoever they are attracted to wag their finger at guys like me and tell us how we are shallow or immature for wanting the same experiences that THEY ALREADY HAD.

[TheWell]

I know a lot of young men who don't have any experience with women at all. A lot of younger women are interested in older guys. By younger I mean low to mid 20's and by older men I mean low 30's.

What women are interested in is men who are confident. I think that you are looking at an idealized view that will prevent you from finding someone.

My advice, go for the career you want, not the job you are stuck in. As long as you think negatively about yourself and judge yourself because of your job you won't find a woman interested.

Make yourself the best you that you can.

[kreg]

Originally Posted by Shadix

Is there any way out of this? I literally feel like a person who asks for things and is repeatedly told no despite patiently accepting no for an answer time and time again. And the person saying no gives no justification for their answer, it is just as if they are doing it because they can. It is sick and sadistic and this is how people and society are.

don't worry about the attractiveness thing. I've found no matter what your age you still find women of your age group and beyond attractive

As for being afraid to go out there you are no different. You just gotta say what is the worst that can happen and then go for it.

Be A Winner

The Winner is always part of the answer
The Loser is always part of the problem

The Winner always has a program
The Loser always has an excuse

The Winner says "Let me do it for you"
The Loser says "That's not my job"

The Winner sees an answer for every problem
The Loser sees a problem for every answer

The Winner sees a green near every sand trap
The Loser sees two or three sand traps near every green

The Winner says "It may be difficult but it's possible"
The Loser says "It may be possible but it's too difficult"

Author unknown

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Shadix

This is the kind of thing people generally seem to say in response to my interest in younger women. What these people overlook is that I HAVEN'T been chasing young women like young men typically do. I have been obseving them from afar while not knowing how to go about connecting with them. But people assume that because I am 26, I have already had "my turn" to chase young women and that now it is time to "grow up" and seek a meaningful long term relationship with someone within 2-3 years of my age.

I find it absolutely despicable when women 25+ who spent their college years having casual relationships with whoever they are attracted to wag their finger at guys like me and tell us how we are shallow or immature for wanting the same experiences that THEY ALREADY HAD.

You reply was offensive and looking for a fight. You'll find none here. I am finding PC less and less hospitable.

[Shadix]

Originally Posted by kreg

I've found no matter what your age you still find women of your age group and beyond attractive

I am attracted to women beyond my age group. There are lots of women in their 30s and 40s I find very attractive, particularly women of certain ethnic groups.

However, I am not really looking for a serious relationship. What I am looking for is to connect with girls I am attracted to and if I like them maybe date them casually, but most of all to freely be attracted to whoever I like without being made to feel like some creep. Sure some of the women I will find myself attracted to will be 25+ but a lot of them will definitely be 18-24 year olds, and that won't change in a few years when I hit 30. Why should it be wrong for me to be attracted to who I am naturally attracted to? It's like telling gays that it is wrong to be gay.

[Shadix]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

You reply was offensive and looking for a fight. You'll find none here. I am finding PC less and less hospitable.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive and wasn't looking for a fight. That comment you made in your reply just made me think of certain kinds of people I have encountered, which is what I described in my post. The last part wasn't talking about you, it was refering to those kinds of people.

[Shadix]

Another thing I should point out, I am not just worried about not attracting younger women on account of my age, I am also worried about not attracting women my own age and even older on account of my age. Lately I have started to wonder if women in general have much interest in men over 30 when it comes to attraction-based dating. Sure, most women over 30 date men their own age or older, but perhaps it is because they are no longer looking for the person they are most attracted to? I mean, the mainstream view seems to be that if a man is over 30, he isn't attractive enough to get attention from young women under 25. Well, if a man isn't attractive enough for women under 25, why would he be attractive enough for women over 30? I actually imagine that if a hot woman over 30 was looking to casually date a guy she was attracted to, she would go for someone under 30 and probably under 25.

[kreg]

You are likely getting an emotional reward from your arguments. You feed off of people undertaking the struggle to offer advice. You don't see it. This is a dead end road. Zen saying-"you can't make muddy water clear by stirring it"

Say a quiet prayer for help and then be still. Your guides on the upper level will hear it and send you an answer.