[Maria06114]

I haven't posted in a while, but this has been bugging me and I need to air out my feelings here.

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months about 3 weeks ago. This has been my longest relationship ever, and only the third boyfriend I've ever had.

My issue with this I guess is the following: how healthy can it be for a 26 year old woman to only have had 3 relationships her whole life? Not to mention that the longest has only been 4 months? I mean, I realize I'm a late bloomer to the dating scene because I was always shy and had low selfesteem about my body. But since I've been on meds and lost weight I feel better about myself. Which is when I started dating. I've had two boyfriends in the last year.

I guess I'm just worrying too much that I will never find someone special. I mean, I'm almost 30 for pete's sake!! I always thought I would be married by then. My younger sister who's 24 just got engaged. My mom was 26 when she got married. But it seems like i'm stuck in high school.

Both of my past relationships ended because my boyfriends wanted to sleep with me and I wasn't ready. I was raised Catholic and work for the Catholic Church. So my moral code says to wait until marriage. People at work and my family have all been supportive of this decision and very proud of me for waiting. But I feel like i'm the only one left in the world who hasn't done the deed! I feel like a freak at 26. Both my exes said I would never find a man who would wait for sex. I wonder now if that's true?
Sorry, but I feel a little sad and lonely today. I miss the companionship i had with my boyfriend. Plus i just turned 26. I guess i'm going through my quarter life crisis?!?

[curlyq]

Sounds like both of your exes did not appreciate you fully or respect your wishes fully either. It may sound strange now but I think you will see that they were not worth it if they did not treat you as you wish and deserve. They also were just telling you that about men so you would feel bad and give in probably. I'm so glad you stood your ground. I am older than you even and am not married. You are not a failure at all. You think about what you are doing and are quite mature. Those qualities will attract the right guy. I, too, am waiting to meet the right guy and commitment before sex. I was not always that way but I feel I am better off the way I am now. Good going! I think you are doing things the right way!

<font color=purple>Peace to you. CQ</font color=purple>

<font color=green>
"I think wholeness comes from living your life consciously during the day and then exploring your inner life or unconscious at night." Margery Cuyler</font color=green>

[Zenobia]

I am 34 and have only had 2 "relationships". A boyfriend in highschool and my current husband...and I am a floosy...well was before i got married. Quantity is not the goal, quality is.
Take care and don't worry,
Zen<font color=blue>

Those who know they do not know gain wisdom. Those who pretend they know ramain ignorant. Those who acknowledge their weakness become strong. Those who flaunt their power will lose it. Wisdom and power follow truth above all. For truth is the way of Tao. --from the Tao Te Ching

[poseygurl]

I'm sorry you're feeling blue.

I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year just three weeks ago. I had a 'sort of' boyfriend in high school, but no one -- especially us -- acknowledged that we were going out together or were boyfriend/girlfriend because we were too shy. I had one boyfriend in college. That relationship lasted from second semester freshman year through graduation when he moved to Japan and I moved to Illinois.

My second real boyfriend became my husband. We split 4 years ago after 12 years of marriage. That's it other than this boyfriend of a year.

My own thoughts are that relationships are a heck of a lot of work, and for me they can be harmful because I can be too accommodating and end up losing my self.

If you are looking for someone of a like mind, maybe look within your church or diocese. I know women who waited to have sex until after they were married. I believe there are men out there with values similar to yours. Don't give up!

"Life and death, loss and possession are one: There falls no shadow where there shines no sun."
- Shakespeare