I need help! I had wrote on here before about my insecurities with my boyfriend. I was insecure about girls he talks too. they're just friends. but he broke up with me. then he said he missed me & was miserable. drove 45mins to see me & even gave back the promise ring. said "I made you a promise & im not breaking it" : so why do my thoughts keep messing it up? I know he loves me & I know he wants to be with me, but idk why my head is giving these ideas! it's driving me crazy.

Hi Sarah,

The life is all about taking risks, walking into the unknown and groping in the dark. A little bit of faith and positivity can work wonders for you. If I were in your situation, I would have given it an honest try and if there was anything happening against my aspirations, I would not blame myself since I would have done my best!

Good luck...

[kelly8896]

Sarah

Have you talked with him about your insecurities? Is there something he is doing that is making you feel this way (besides talking with girls, maybe it's what or how is talks to them or how he stands when talking to them). Is there something going on with you that makes you feel this way? Are you confident in your own skin?

Have confidence in your love. Talk openly and honestly to him about it. Tell him what you need from him to make you feel more secure. Maybe it's more time together, maybe it's him introducing you to these female friends as his girlfriend or as the love of his life. Maybe hang out with him and them to get to know his group of friends. Maybe you want a text during the day to say that he is thinking of you.

I believe communication and honesty is what makes or breaks a relationship. So be confident, talk to him.

Good Luck.

thank you guys. I appreciate the feedback! we have talked about it, he always says to trust him. which I do, it's other girls I don't trust. we have been thru ALOT of things within the past year & honestly, surprised he's still here. he says me he wants me to tell him when something is bothering me, so I been writing things down & showing him. he's been helping me. he does text me alot of the day, tells me he loves me & whatnot. I'm just not sure why I'm thinking like this, my heart says he wouldn't hurt me, but my head is filed. lol

Dear Sarah,

It is good to know that our words were of help and support to you. It is also good to know that the two of you sat down and spoke to each other. Communication keeps a relationship alive and from my experience, a fighting couple is better than a silent one. Fights, arguments, differences all point out that both persons want/expect an improvement in the status of relationship whereas silence means they have given it up. Try to keep up your conversations and try to open up and share more and more. Things will get better. Also if you suspect something, you should discuss it with him and may be he has an explanation which might settle the matter.
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Originally Posted by sarahhxx03

thank you guys. I appreciate the feedback! we have talked about it, he always says to trust him. which I do, it's other girls I don't trust. we have been thru ALOT of things within the past year & honestly, surprised he's still here. he says me he wants me to tell him when something is bothering me, so I been writing things down & showing him. he's been helping me. he does text me alot of the day, tells me he loves me & whatnot. I'm just not sure why I'm thinking like this, my heart says he wouldn't hurt me, but my head is filed. lol

[lilypup]

It sounds like you are doing a good job by sharing your thoughts with him. Don't worry about other girls. If he is in love with you, he'll just be mannerly to them but nothing else. Jealousy can really do a number on you, so be careful to keep balance by going out with friends, having hobbies, etc.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by sarahhxx03

I need help! I had wrote on here before about my insecurities with my boyfriend. I was insecure about girls he talks too. they're just friends. but he broke up with me. then he said he missed me & was miserable. drove 45mins to see me & even gave back the promise ring. said "I made you a promise & im not breaking it" : so why do my thoughts keep messing it up? I know he loves me & I know he wants to be with me, but idk why my head is giving these ideas! it's driving me crazy.

Do YOU want to be with him? The conversation is about his missing you - did YOU miss HIM? I am not asking about being upset after the breakup because you were not the initiator of the breakup; I am asking about actually missing him.

I am wondering because it could be that you cannot honestly tell yourself that you DO NOT want him, at least not in the long run, so your ambivalence takes the form of those thoughts and ideas that are driving you crazy. This is just one hypothesis.

both of us are really stubborn & I've never been one to share stuff. even writing in here is big for me. lol but he said he appreciates me writing & letting me in. & yes I def wanna be with him & I missed him like crazy. I didn't wanna say anything first because I didn't want things to be kind of weird if mentioned. I just gave it time. we actually talked about marriage too. he wants to do that. both of us are actually in love for the first time, so that's why my mind could be running too. and thank you guys for responding to this

[hamster-bamster]

Sarah, it looks like things are progressing nicely. I hope everything works out!

thank you! we're trying

[strawberry.fields]

whenever i feel like that in my relationships i make lists of all the dudes i talk to that are just friends. if i can have guy friends without being secretly in love with them, he can probably have chick friends without secretly being in love with them. if my guy friends manage to keep their hands off me his chick friends can probably do the same. switching spots with people always helps for me

I'll have to try that. thank you