Having literally no friends. How to cope?

Hey everyone

I'm Elin and I am 19 years old. I have no friends since 1,5 years.

I used to have 3 really amazing friends. They were amazing, we did fun things together and they were always available when I had problems. But we all went to another school and I got into deep depression so we lost all contact.

I really miss having friends. Besides my work and school, I'm always at home. I hear classmates talking about their friends and what a great time they have. I'm shy and not very easy to be friends with. I don't have the money to go on a sport or something. my classmates are fine, but I don't really connect to them. They are just different. I create fake friends in my head. So sad.

It's just hard to not have much fun and be able to talk about your problems with friends.

I'd love to hear your story of advice.

thanks.

Elin

I know that feeling well, not having any real friends, I used to make up whole worlds in my head to live in, such a nicer place than the real world.

I know you don't live in the USA but if you did a quick internet search there might be some peer support groups in your area, I know for me they were really a life changer. I met people who I could connect to, who didn't judge me and even made a few friends.

thank you for you answer. I will search for it!

I think some people make friends without any effort while others find it hard. I've always been in the latter group. During my school years I had few, if any friends. I also didn't really connect with anyone at college or during my undergraduate degree. It wasn't until later, and further study, that I started to find some people that I had something in common with. I think that I also knew and accepted myself better. I think it's also harder if you're introverted. Not sure it that applies to you. I think you could search for special interest groups. Another place to meet people might be in evening classes or workshops relating to topics that interest you.

Same answer as always. Get out and meet people. Join groups that do what you like doing, volunteer, make an effort to talk to people in the supermarket, shops wherever. You won't meet anyone staying in. Meetup.com is good. You may have to force yourself but you do what cha gotta do.

If there are any teachers you like, I would ask them if they know of someone who might be interested in being friends. Some teachers are good at seeing which people would get along well together.

Even if you don't really connect with your classmates, it doesn't hurt to practice friendship skills with them.

Elin95 nice to meet u! I am in the same position. I used to have friends but they were all alcohiolics and i decided i didnt want that kind of life so i chose to leave it behind. I have been without friends now for almost 2 years. I think in this part of my life i have discovered what it means to be happy with yourself. U cant rely on others for your happiness. Only u can create it. I love to study astrophysics and so that is what i do when im lonely. If it is a must that u need comfort.... Look for that one person that is worthy of your friendship.... Cause in the end it mostly ends up being a load full of drama that u probably dont need anyways. Just find that one person to be there for u, and be happy with who u are.

That is sad. I am sorry to hear you have no friends.

Do you have any brothers, sisters or cousins in your family that you could talk to? I have always been very close with my sister and my cousins and my sister has helped me through a lot of problems over the years and if it wasn’t for her I doubt I would be here today.

I've found some way cool people by posting an ad on Craigslist "strictly platonic". (And some weirdos gotta be careful! Lol)

I'm in the same spot right now. I used to have a really solid group of friends and a good group of acquaintances, they're all gone now. I pushed everyone away with mistakes I've made and lost touch with everyone I haven't pushed away. I try to look at it as fate and a chance to work on myself. Nobody can give you self worth but yourself. Once your completely comfortable with yourself everything will fall into place.

As for meeting new friends you can always join clubs and lessons that interest you. Putting yourself out there is hard, but it's almost always worth it. I also go to group therapy and it's really nice to have people with the same issues as you that you can relate to. I know talking to people over the internet isn't the same, but you can talk send me a private message and talk to me anytime you want to, I don't bite

I have had periods of time like this. When you have had "amazing friends ships" the casual friendships don't seem as satisfying. Some people you just click extra special with. I try to be grateful that I was able to have such great friendships, even if I had to let go of them. It can feel very lonely, so I try to just enjoy the company of acquaintances and not compare it to those special friendships.

What about getting a puppy! Lol. That's what I did.

Hey! Just wanted to say hello, since that was what I used to do too when I was lonely. Unable to do that now due to other reasons, but I still do love my astrophysics class and hope I can get back on track with that fiery passion to keep studying it again. Are you studying astrophysics in college or?

elin95, I too don't have any friends, and I'm not sure if this is a good way to cope with loneliness - since it hasn't been very productive either - but watching TV shows seem to help a lot. Especially Reality TV shows where they show you everything about the actors and actresses' lives so much so that you feel like you're their friend. Of course, when the show ends that's when the loneliness comes back in, so I'm not sure if this is truly a good way after all, and in the end it seems to become a drug you rely on to cope and isn't very productive anyway.

One thing that I'm working on to decrease loneliness is by whenever I'm talking to someone, anyone, I'd focus everything on them. Live fully that moment with their presence so that something meaningful comes out between us. We might just stay as acquaintances afterwards, but I feel it's a stepping stone to coming out of this shell of loneliness.

Also I've learned that becoming more active helps. Participate more in class, visit professors' office hours. Chances are, there would be students hanging around, who are just as passionate about the subject as you are, giving you guys already something to talk about - be it the subject, or how ******/good the class has been. Anyway, the main thing is to fully utilize each moment such that something meaningful comes out of it.

Feel better.

Hi buddy,
Well I know how it feels when your best friends get busy with their own lives and move far off away from you. But living in that zone for the rest of your life is not the solution. You may not get friends like them again who are always there for you but you can atleast try and make friends with people who understand you. Unless you put behind your shyness and the ideology of ideal friends you won't feel anyone can be your friend. Just for once try to forget everything and look at the world with hopeful eyes. You surely will get friends.