[The Grey Wolf]

I hate being touched in any way anything from someone shaking my hand to a family member trying to hug me. I've been like this for awhile my mom knows I'm upset and just tried to hug me I guess her attempt at making me feel better but anytime someone has the slightest physical contact with me my body tenses up and become stiff I always shrug away from it. I know this bothers my mom and grandmother my mom has broke down in tears from me pushing her away when she is trying to hug me. Its actually really hard for me to feel sympathy in a way for her when she knows I don't like Being touch and she still tries to hug me all the time it bothers me.

[gayleggg]

As a mom, I can understand your mom wanting to comfort you by hugging you. It's hard for a mom when the child gets too big to hug. I know when I was younger hugging people made me uncomfortable, too, but it made my mom happy. So when I would go to her house I would give her a quick, stiff little hug. I would give her a big one today if I could only see her one more time.

You may have to tell your mother again how much it bothers you. She should respect your wishes, even if she finds it hard to do. Sit down with her when you are not upset and explain it again. When our children are babies hugs are one form of comfort. It is hard for us to accept that we can't give that comfort as they get older. I've recently started hugging my daughter (30yr old) when I leave her presence. Mainly, because I now realize how short our time left together is. I want her to know how important she is to me.

I hope you try to be patient with you mom. Best wishes.

[The Grey Wolf]

I have told her a million times I tell her everytime she does it that I don't like it. She says that she tries to be more affectionate because my grandmother wasn't with her and I understand I'm not trying to be mean or anything. Its not like I just don't like it it is the fact that my body goes cold and gets tense at any physical interaction. Maybe it is because I'm paranoid and hypervigilant I am suspicious of everyone's motives who knows. I'm not proud of it or anything I'm quite ashamed by it I wish I could hug family members especially my grandmother with all her health problems but its just the reaction I get every time.

[MattBemis]

I don't really want physical contact with anybody I'm not sexually attracted to, but it's a part of life (except for hugs, I like hugs).

I don't particularly enjoy when my grandma initiates a ton of physical contact with me, but I know she needs closeness and that's how she shows affection so I put up with it.

Random aquintances who think they're way closer to me than they are touching my shoulder or patting me on the back is just intrusive and a crossing of social boundries. Its annoying, but try to understand it's the way some people communicate though and a lot of people are unaware of social boundaries, but you can't react to that.

[eskielover]

UGH.....I remember around the age of 5, when my parents wanted to hold my hand when we were out in public....I would pull away & walk as far away from them as I could possibly get so that no one would know that we were together.......I can't even remember the details as to why I felt that way but for some reason their behavior was embarrassing even though looking back I don't think they did anything odd.....but I think it was feelings I had about them from inside of the family home unit & it was something that I held a feeling about when I was around others.

I don't mind being hugged by people who I'm friends with now.....but I also felt the same way about my H before I finally left him & didn't want him to touch or hug or even get near me before I left while there are other people who I have no problems showing friendly caring feelings toward.....don't really know what kind of analysis this really brings up...Good friends it feels natural to hug when greeting or leaving.

Just certain people I really keep my distance from

[shezbut]

I can relate a lot to feeling that way with family, The Grey Wolf. I've struggled a lot with my impulses (to run or strike) since early-teens. I am still this way, 30 years later. I can be affectionate with romantic relationships, but I struggled with that for 20 years. I am just recently beginning to be romantically open, but it's still work.

My difficulty stems from family abuse in my childhood and teen years though...

[The Grey Wolf]

I'm guessing mine does too